When you reach out to your husband for money

I feel awkward every time I ask my husband for money. Although it is said that it is justified and worthwhile for her husband to spend money on himself, there is always a vague feeling of "begging for inferiority". I don't know whether this feeling is more due to myself or my husband's attitude towards me. Although he always gives it, he is always reluctant to give it, which reminds me of the scene when I was a child. I asked my parents for money.

I remember when I was at school, my parents always took a notebook and told me how much they spent on me this time. I will remember all the money for you. Perhaps the implication is that when I grow up and earn money, I should return it to him. It's hard to think about that feeling at that time. I wonder what other children look like and feel when they ask for money. Parents spend money for their children. Although they should really be grateful as children, why do I always feel particularly uncomfortable every time I say this? Maybe my parents made me feel? This money is not worth taking. Shouldn't I accept it?

It seems that there is really a little feeling, just like every time I ask my husband for money, it seems that he will really give me one, and I shouldn't take it.

I don't want to analyze anything with my brain. I just wonder, what is hidden in this uncomfortable feeling?

If it is only for self-esteem, we say that if a woman wants to be independent, she must earn enough money to buy jewelry, bags, clothes and shopping for herself. . . . On the one hand, we preach that women should love themselves, see the value they pay, and don't follow the crowd to measure their value in the family with money. . .

You know, just like me at present, there is a big contradiction here, that is, the conflict between taking care of children and career.

I am a person who values accompanying children more than my current career investment, which may be related to my more recognition of my mother. I think this is what I should put in the first place at present, and it is also a more important thing. Although I will be anxious in the face of career development restrictions, I firmly feel that even if I sacrifice my career, it is more important than anything else. But every time my husband gives me a feeling, I feel that a very big contradiction will be highlighted, which makes me embarrassed and makes me feel a little helpless. Because I don't want to rely on him, I want to put more energy into my career, and I will inevitably sacrifice the company of my children. But when I am with my children, I need to temporarily succumb to my husband financially, which makes me very uncomfortable. So whenever this time, let me have a feeling of going back to the past and realize the helplessness of relying on others. This is also my deepest feeling since I was a child. It should be said that this is the most painful.

Perhaps, I need to face and deal with this seriously, because I can't change his attitude towards this matter for the time being, so I need to adjust myself.

It is really difficult to be a mother, an enterprising mother and a mother who loves life.