Opened the distance between people.

It widens the distance between people, and quite a few people are confused about their lives and dissatisfied with the status quo. In fact, people ignore the small efforts every day, so it is these small changes that bring people closer. The following sharing has narrowed the distance between people.

Closer the distance between people 1. The first one is because people have different IQs.

Some people are naturally very clever, while others are quite dull. Therefore, smart people can succeed, and dull people can only accomplish nothing.

Different IQs between people do lead to different development, but through the analysis of successful people, we find that as long as IQ is within the normal range, the impact on a person's success or career is limited.

There is no doubt that a person with high IQ is more likely to succeed in his studies. However, the analysis shows that the IQ of most successful people is within the normal range (around 100), and we often say that high IQ people usually refer to people with IQ at least above 125.

Many people with normal IQ have made very good achievements, even great achievements, so we can draw a conclusion that the IQ gap does not determine whether a person can succeed, which also means that as ordinary people, we have the potential to succeed.

Second, because of different family backgrounds.

People with good family conditions are more likely to succeed. Because they have enough economic conditions and resources, they can go to the best schools in the future and get financial and resource support from their parents.

Although this is an important factor to widen the gap between adults, the survey of successful people shows that more than 60% to 70% of successful people come from ordinary families, and many even come from the bottom of society, such as farmers and ordinary workers' families.

It can also be concluded that family background is not an inevitable condition to determine a person's success or not.

The conclusion is that a person's IQ and family background will affect our success, but they are not the main factors that widen the gap. I think the following aspects have widened the gap between people:

1. Do you have ideals, dreams or ambitions?

This is one of the most important factors to widen the gap between adults. Because the ideal has great traction or impetus, it will lead a person to keep moving forward. People with ideals, dreams and ambitions tend to move forward much faster than those without ambitions.

They have a brave belief, which will lead him to surpass others gradually. The so-called dreams and ideals are not necessarily concrete things, but ideas that we are willing to fight for.

When Mandela was young, he hoped that he could eliminate apartheid, which became one of his great ideals, pushing him forward and finally realizing his dream, becoming the first black president of South Africa and winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

For us ordinary people, the inner desire for a better life, the desire to discover a bigger world, and the desire to achieve greater achievements through our own efforts and become an outstanding figure in a certain field are all our driving forces.

2. Personality and personality differences

We can hardly expect pessimists to do something vigorous; It is also difficult for us to expect a passive person to make a groundbreaking and breakthrough career.

Although personality and personality are cultivated under the influence of parents and environment from childhood, it is not easy for us to play a leading role when we are young, but when we grow up and mature, we need to understand what kind of personality and personality are more likely to succeed, and strive to approach such personality.

So what kind of personality is easy to succeed? I think people with the following abilities will be more likely to succeed:

First of all, there are people in adversity quotient. Adversity quotient refers to his personality traits that he can recover from failures, hardships, disasters and blows, so he becomes more determined and willing to deal with difficulties. When a person is not afraid of failure and is willing to fight back, he has the ability and opportunity to make a comeback.

Secondly, people with self-discipline ability. Self-discipline is the ability to set goals and directions for yourself, unswervingly eliminate all kinds of interference, temptations and desires, and move on.

Finally, people with fusion ability. Integration ability is the ability to mix well in the crowd, even become the core leader, integrate others, and use the strength of others to complete one thing. If a person's personality embodies these three abilities, then he is closer to success.

3. Size of concentration

Concentration is the ability to concentrate on one thing in a certain period of time and do it to the extreme. From a small point of view, I can achieve the ultimate in professionalism and become a professional leader;

To put it bluntly, it means not to make things bigger and never give up; Emotionally speaking, it is to have deep feelings for the people and things you like, and it is easier to reach the maturity and breadth of human nature.

At the same time, the depth and exploration brought by concentration can also make it easier for us to reach a deep understanding of certain things. Edison's concentration brought electric light, Einstein's concentration discovered relativity, and Jobs's concentration brought Apple's intelligent world.

4. Learning ability and risk-taking ability

Learning ability is mainly divided into internal and external. Internal learning ability is self-reflection, while external learning ability is reading ability.

We understand all kinds of new ideas, viewpoints and experiences through reading, and at the same time constantly reflect on ourselves to improve our understanding, analysis and judgment.

The ability to take risks is defined as the ability to go out. Because if a person is satisfied with himself, he will usually stop, or if he is comforted, he will never think about anything else again.

An adventurous person is willing to give up his income and generous environment to meet new challenges, explore new markets and go to new unfamiliar areas to prove that he can achieve better success.

Therefore, these two abilities are actually a way for a person to acquire abilities that he didn't have from the outside world, so that he can look at problems from multiple angles and perspectives and determine his own life direction. In this way, life will be more magnificent and there will be better life opportunities.

Although all people are born the same, the main reason for the great difference when they grow up is not the difference in IQ and family background, but the difference in some characteristics of individuals themselves.

A person with dreams, positive personality, concentration and learning ability will be more likely to succeed in life struggle. I hope most people can become such people.

Passive life is the same as active life, but the latter will certainly gain more. Since we are in this world, we should certainly strive for a better life.

It widens the distance between people. How did two people open the gap?

1. Opportunities and choices are different.

After graduation, everyone chose different internship units. Some people choose Internet companies. The company is on the rise, making progress with the company while working hard. Naturally, they later mixed up with department managers and the like. Some people choose to take the civil service exam. It feels good to work step by step every day after entering a public institution. Some people choose a small company, and then they feel that there is no future, so they jump around. In the end, nothing is mixed, but they become more and more confused.

Self-discipline and hard work are different.

After work, some people choose to muddle through, while others work harder and harder. Sometimes it is common to work overtime and stay up late for your own goals. Some people choose to play mobile phones and games after work, thinking that relaxing is enough; Others go home to continue their studies, for the sake of their English level or diploma, and also to enhance their value.

3. The consciousness of self-improvement is different.

Some people come into contact with different social circles after entering the work, just like when they were at school, they keep learning and improving themselves. After a period of time, they mastered other skills, were promoted to the management of the company, and their leadership and management abilities were gradually improved.

In this case, how can we better improve ourselves and get what we want?

In fact, those who envy us are doing these three things wisely:

The first thing: you should have your own life plan. Take out a blank piece of paper, write down your most desired wishes on it, and then choose one by one to see which ones are more practical and better realized. Then analyze these wishes, and formulate corresponding steps and follow them.

The second thing: reflect every day and add value to yourself. In the process of reflection, sum up experience and lessons, constantly adjust, and make progress every day.

The third thing: integrate into the quality social circle. Integrating into high-quality circles can broaden one's horizons and thinking patterns, break one's original inherent patterns, and sometimes, while improving oneself, one will also come into contact with different circles and bring oneself more advanced ideas.

Of course, these three things are in a certain order, and really smart people are quietly trying to live the life they want.

Narrow the distance between people 3 How to narrow the distance between people?

To close the interpersonal distance between two people is actually to persuade the other person to pull himself into his personal space. There are two ways of persuasion, namely, the central path and the peripheral path. Let's talk about the central path first. All you have to do is show your value, make the other person feel that you are valuable and can meet their needs, and the other person will take the initiative to bring you into his personal space, but this is imminent, because you are not showing skill value, but emotional value.

If you show the value of your skills, you can only be drawn closer by the other party and cooperate with you in the future, instead of being included in your personal space, that is, you can have a heart-to-heart talk with you in the future. So we might as well consider the way of peripheral path. There are generally two ways to quickly enter other people's personal space through peripheral paths.

Method one, reciprocity.

In social psychology, reciprocity is a social rule. When others are friendly to us, we tend to reciprocate in the same way. In other words, it is what Confucius said, so it is very simple to enter other people's personal space in this way. First, bring others into your personal space and be kind to them like other close friends. Second, enter other people's personal space in this way.

In short, don't treat yourself as an outsider. It's better to ask for the kindness of the other party than ordinary friends. So to sum up these two methods, you are good to others.

Second, it is not necessarily a good thing to ask for the kindness of others, but to close the distance quickly.

The above two methods have their own risks. First, you are kind to others and bring others into your personal space, but if you are equally kind to everyone, your personal space will become less precious, which will make people feel that you are exquisite and insincere. The second method, don't treat yourself as an outsider, and ask for each other's good. It is possible that you will be spit on by others.

You don't think of yourself as an outsider, or you are shameless. So the above shortcuts can be a good start, but emotions always need to be precipitated through the time of the central path. The two sides have experienced more and more, and their emotional value to each other is becoming more and more obvious, so that the other side relies more and more on its own needs, and the relationship will naturally become solid and firm. After all, don't worry about emotional management.