Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - The story of me and five men
The story of me and five men
Tell a story about five men.
? "secret love"
Growing up, I was nothing but writing. When I was in the third year of high school, I was basically abandoned by the class teacher, and my grades were really poor. It was a life of dropping out of school and working.
Then I met him. That was four months before the senior high school entrance examination. On the bus home, in the dim headlights, I sat next to him and stole a look at him. He has the temperament of Han Han. While getting off the bus, get up the courage to make a phone call and get on the bus.
I just know that he is high flyers from Liaoning University of Technology. For a champion of the college entrance examination, he is like a dream residue, just looking up from the bottom. Inferiority is real, so is infatuation.
He said that if I could get into college, I could be his girlfriend.
This has become the only motivation for my efforts in the first three months of the college entrance examination. I sleep with a book in my arms every day and don't want to let go of the toilet.
On the day of the college entrance examination, I fell asleep in the examination room except math, and other subjects were not bad. At least I got into a women's university.
When I entered the university, I was filled with joy, thinking that I could be justified and be a girlfriend. He said he already had a girlfriend, and that was just to inspire me.
Do you think I should kick him to death or thank him?
Second, "back"
The only thing women's universities need is boys. I heard that college is a paradise for love, but just entering a "nun" and finding a boyfriend has become a dream and a luxury.
One day I was on the bus and a foreigner sat next to me. Wow, the Twilight man has a sense of sight (maybe foreigners are the same). The terrible thing is that he asked me the way. He knew notHing but hi, and then he got off the bus in a hurry.
A handsome guy asked me the way. Listen! Don't! Got it! It's so fucking embarrassing
Back at school, I began to make up my English, growling at the sky in the Woods and practicing my pronunciation. I was persuaded by the security guard several times, saying that the whole teaching building was shaking because I yelled like this every day. Let me be a good person and stop yelling.
Then, I moved to Hunan University at the foot of Yuelu Mountain, where I could roar. From then on, every day before the cock crows, I get up and go to the hillside. Every day, I have a dog that comes from nowhere.
After shouting in the mountains for a year, I have successfully made many foreign friends, and I can basically speak fluent spoken English, and my expression and writing are becoming more and more authentic. Until the foreigner's class, I can think and laugh together.
Because I learned a little skill, I successfully entered a listed company that makes vacuum glass, and my business is all over the world. I will probably be sent overseas, which will be the peak of my life.
At this time, I often think of Shuai Shuai Oba who asked me the way. I dreamed that he became my man countless times, and I woke up, but I didn't even remember his back.
Three "trespassing"
The heavy snow in Changsha is terribly cold, which is when people are most eager for warmth. I am alone in the office, tapping on the keyboard, and want to see the part-time adult English private education posted on the Internet. Is there anyone who can consult?
Bored, a handsome young man, Mr. Huang, appeared in the photo with a bag on his back, smiling brightly, like the sunshine in spring, and the whole person warmed up.
At this time, the intermediary called and said that a teacher Huang wanted to ask me to be a tutor. As soon as I confirm, is this the legendary heart?
When Mr. Huang came to my office, his smile was no different from that in the photo. He shook the snow on his clothes and didn't break the ice, so he was naturally embarrassed.
Ape dung is amazing. He is an engineer of Huawei in C? te d 'Ivoire, West Africa. He has just been sent back to China on business and left for a week. He found me as a private teacher to improve his English communication ability.
After all, it is the age to fall in love. Two outstanding single youths are together, making eyes at each other, and they are very fond of each other. On my way to class, I happened to pass an import shop, and I walked in curiously. ...
I started my first venture. The store I saw is a multinational chain in Malaysia, and its development prospect is completely in line with my beautiful vision for the future.
Then, I made a crazy move, went to Malaysia to inspect the company and applied for resignation from the listed company. I thought everything would go towards my vision, with money and leisure, and a handsome ticket.
However, reality always likes a little reversal. Teacher Huang went to West Africa and said that I was brainwashed by pyramid schemes. Say goodbye to me.
I cried all night and my eyes turned into pandas. No one knows, thinking, this is too uneconomical. I cried a ball, stopped crying, dried my tears and started my counterattack.
To fight back against a P, I started from the bottom sales, working at the bottom, with a monthly salary of 1700. I slept in the attic above the store, like a mouse jumping in the middle of the night, and there was no quiet night. The wind outside the window was biting, and I had a single bed, half of which was piled with clothes. The bed was blown hot by a hair dryer and punched every day.
So, it also scared away the five store managers in front of me. I have no money and have to choose to stay.
In the shop, I trim people's eyebrows, pour water on their feet, serve wave after wave of customers, and tell business plans to more than 20 people every day. While customers soak their feet for 30 minutes, I hypnotize customers over and over again with the dream board hanging on the wall.
You are curious about what I wrote. Let me tell you.
1, after three years, the daily income is 65,438+10,000 (the monthly salary at that time 1700).
2. Buy a Land Rover Aurora (I didn't even touch the wheels at that time).
3. Be a gold medal lecturer (at that time, I would tremble if more than three people listened to me)
Some, I forgot.
Is the client hypnotized by me? No, it hit me. What's so good about Land Rover Aurora? I have a Range Rover at home, and I think that's all.
In fact, don't say people don't believe it, I don't believe it myself.
I was forced to pour hot foot washing water, and so was writing a dream board. I have never seen anyone around me make a fortune by writing such a dream board.
Some things really can't be said dead. I told my guests so much that I actually believed them.
What happened to me after three years? Did you hit your face? Many people are waiting to see me slap the cow up. Have you ever wondered when it will fall?
Sorry to disappoint you, I overfulfilled my goal.
In the fourth year, it rushed to a revenue of 2 million, and the first store authorized by the Malaysian head office opened, with a turnover of over one million that day.
On the opening day, I sent a message to Mr. Huang-Hi, I succeeded.
The message was not sent successfully, and the other party changed the number, but I ... took a deep breath and won!
Land Rover didn't buy it. I bought my first BMW X5, and it only took an hour to decide.
I bought the first lake view room in my life and paid for it after seeing the building.
Holding a microphone and giving speeches everywhere, at the meeting of 1000 people, I took my mother to the pirated Avenue of Stars, which was her lifelong dream.
It has become the pride of others for no reason, and entrepreneurship is a genius.
It feels like a dream again.
You say, this Mr. Huang, should I thank him or should I thank him?
Four "positive results"
Has life been hung up since then? According to the routine of the plot, it should be that Xiaobai counterattacked and became a sales goddess, and finally lived a happy life.
In the first half of the story, it did go like this.
At the peak of my career, I met a close friend.
This buddy can give a speech, be a black belt coach in Taekwondo, start a business in his early years, win a Mercedes-Benz award, and later start his own company, born in the 1980s, with tens of millions of assets.
Then, I got married and had a baby. Naturally, I am old after all.
This should be, perfect match, perfect match. Good love should not be hello, am I not bad?
You guessed it, my life has soared from now on, and I live a life that most people envy.
Driving a car, taking a nanny and a doll, I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want. I think I can keep surfing like this and do whatever I want in the future. Where do you want to go, buy tickets; The person I want to see, buy a ticket
In a word, nothing is impossible with a ticket.
However, fate always likes to play a little joke, so that I don't know when it is true and when it is false.
Five "He from the Stars"
When I was 1 9 months old, I suddenly found that my son wouldn't call anyone and entertained himself all day. I was super sensitive to his every move and found something bad.
Go to the hospital, thunder, the child was diagnosed-autism!
Since then, my world has become dark, all the light has been taken away, leaving only a black hole, surrounded and swallowed up by great fear every day.
Faced with the child's unresponsiveness, he began to become neurasthenia, autonomic nervous disorder, severe depression, sudden weight loss and bed wetting. ...
Play back those media reports about autism in your mind every day, and there are 10 thousand thoughts in your mind. Leaving this world is the fastest way to end the pain.
Every time, what is brought back to reality is a moment when children seldom smile at me. It was dawn.
I began to study psychology and amused my children crazily 10 hours every day. Most of the time, my children turn a blind eye to my jokes. I am like a clown without an audience.
After three months of persistence, the child made progress, had light in his eyes, and called his mother for the first time. However, the old mother has exhausted her physical strength. In the process, she quarreled with her father, and the family atmosphere was ignited a little bit. There were differences in the direction of interfering with the children, and finally she divorced peacefully.
I took my children to Shenzhen, which is the only education base in China that can make them recover. I came with 2 million yuan, signed a five-year contract and moved my account. I became a native of Shenzhen and never dreamed.
My career is gone, and all kinds of beautiful plans for the future are gone, leaving only the neglected baby and me.
Where I am, it is the most remote area in Shenzhen. I rented an old house, opened the window and faced the whole empty building with the word "demolition" written on it. Passing by at night, shivering.
In this closed circle, I almost cut off my social life and often doubt the meaning of life. You can take away my face value, but you can't take away my stage and let my depression come soon.
Where is my stage? I can't remember my sister.
? Six "still alive"
10 1 Si, my sister is here, and a friend who started a business with * * * came with her killer copy.
On the night of insomnia, I brushed a copy of hers in my circle of friends and lit a fire in my heart. The attractive writing style is simple without losing strength. I grabbed her circle of friends like a straw.
Like a beam of light, it lit me up and dragged me out of the black hole. I found a long-lost feeling, my favorite word.
Can you still make money by writing a circle of friends? For a person who is most ashamed to talk about money in a circle of friends, this incident makes me both scared and excited, exciting!
Then, you will know that I started a new round of evolution, learning to write copywriting with her, and magical things happened again. On the fourth day of my study, people began to look for me as an apprentice.
In this way, I started a circle of friends. Apprentice 10 in the first month and realized 3 1050. In the second month, I earned 50 thousand in three days.
Disciples, treat me as a relative, a best friend, a mentor and a killer copywriter. There is a magical power that allows you to write yourself bravely and truly. In less than two months, I became a red man in my circle of friends.
In the middle of the night, someone swiped my circle of friends with their mobile phones, one by one, and some left messages directly. Seeing my circle of friends is like taking drugs. I can't stop.
I give the bottom logic of writing killer copywriting to students, junior high school students with inferiority, and I can also write copywriting for others to chase after experts.
The apprentice who sells navel oranges is still hanging on the tree. Thanks to the replication of the circle of friends, the sideline business achieved more than 10000 in the first month.
The youngest female village official, in the isolated countryside, has only a poor circle of friends of 300, and achieved 7,000 in the first month.
There are many more.
Where I am, I have no friends and face a group of closed children every day. 3: 0 1 is my daily routine. But on the internet, I began to use copywriting to contact the wider world and link friends all over the world.
Depression is inexplicably cured because I feel that I live in the light every day.
The relationship with his son is getting closer and closer, which makes many people wonder if he is a star's child. How can he smile so happily when he meets people and is close to children? Are they all nobody's eyes?
If you knew that a year ago, he could turn the basin for an hour alone and indulge in the stimulation of rotation, you wouldn't say so.
This year, I didn't leave him half a step, took him to a group of places with angels, and his sisters completely accepted him. Even if it is an unconscious attack, he will release the warmest smile on earth.
Eight hours a day, 10 angels and sisters take turns to entertain themselves, and it is common for them to be happy in the sun and rain with their children, sweating like a pig. In this way, the world of children will be opened. It turns out that children are autistic because people are so fucking boring.
In a year, the child has changed and everyone loves him. Uncle security has to run around with him. Although he has not fully recovered, I believe it will be just around the corner.
When he recovers, I will announce to the world that mental cancer is great and can be cured!
I studied psychology crazily this year, just to understand children. The results of theory and practice are enough to make me confident and support others' lives.
For example, xu teacher, who studied copywriting with me, had a seriously rebellious son who changed from a bully in his class to a truant. He ate and drank with his mobile phone all day and even gave up his mother.
My mother has found several psychological counselors and active teachers, and so has my son. After listening to my words, within two months, my son became surprisingly sensible, walked with his mother and took the initiative to give his mobile phone to his mother.
Xu teacher said that she couldn't believe it was true. She had intended to influence him for a year. Unexpectedly, it's only been two months …
In fact, copywriting also played a great role. In the past two months, she wrote three letters to her son, and I helped her correct them with copywriting thinking. I didn't expect her son to read it, and every letter brought about a real change (I want to know what I wrote and can send it to you privately).
Simply open a psychology course and want to help more people. The course has only started for two days. A principal studying film and television psychology said that my two courses started her second pulse as a governor, which once made me wonder if she was a trustee.
Because of the progress of dolls, I called 100 parents of autistic children to share my intervention experience and public welfare practice, which helped many children make progress.
You know, all this is done in the gap between children's intervention, and my time is patchwork.
Strictly speaking, no day can belong to you, and even a day trip outdoors is unthinkable.
six
Someone asked me, what is my biggest dream?
In fact, people have so many dreams, can't they live well?
I thought of my grandfather, the soldier who was shot twice in Huaihai Campaign, the only survivor. He died young because of the sequelae of gunshot wounds, and I have never seen him.
According to the villagers, he was 1.9 meters tall, married the most beautiful girl in the village, and then went to war. He died at the age of 34.
I want to talk to him. I want to ask him, is he afraid when bullets fly on the battlefield? Does he regret being a soldier?
Only in dreams can you see grandpa's tall body and vague outline.
Therefore, my dream is to continue writing until I can write my grandfather's story, preferably a novel.
Then, I joined the writing circle and wrote once a week for seven years. Then I went to the South Pole.
By that time, the child should have recovered and understood my story. Let me tell him, my mother's grandfather, that he is bleeding.
In the name of genes, passed on to his mother.
So, when people say I am tough, haha, do you know why I am tough?
I don't think much about the future. Do it now, and the future is your future. That's what chicken soup says.
Many friends around me say that I am a veritable inspirational woman.
God, there's no inspiration.
I only believe one thing.
Choose your own path, you should walk on your knees.
But I just don't choose to walk on my knees.
I choose to walk sideways.
Finally, a poem by Rumi ended my thoughts.
We are the mirror and the face in the mirror.
At this moment, we tasted the taste of eternal life.
We are pain, but also the savior of pain.
We are sweet and cool water, and we are also splashing pots.
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