Should children be taken care of by their elders?

I have a deep understanding of this problem. My parents raised my brother's children. Personally, I think it is not good for elders or old people to take care of children, and there are many disadvantages.

1. Old people often spoil and pamper their children with their children. For example, no matter what children want, no matter what family conditions, they will try their best to satisfy them. Children are selfish, and the whole family has to revolve around themselves. If you are slightly dissatisfied, you will splash and cry until you are satisfied.

Whether children should be brought up by elders, most treasure mothers think that children should not be brought up by elders, and it is better to bring them up by themselves.

But the reality is that Ma Bao will start working after giving birth and taking maternity leave. If there is no elder to help take care of the children, how can we solve the problem and hire a nanny? Take the kids to work?

My two babies, Dabao, are 6 years old and Bauer is almost 2 years old. After giving birth to Dabao, I took maternity leave for half a year and then started working. My grandmother helps to take care of Dabao.

After giving birth to Bauer, I also took maternity leave for half a year and started working. Dabao is in kindergarten, and grandma takes care of Bauer at home.

I can't imagine what I would do without the help of my elders.

As a working mother, if no one takes care of the children, work will become a problem.

Moreover, the colleagues around me are also the elders at home to help take care of the children, especially before the children were three years old.

Although, I know that there will be some disadvantages for elders to take care of their children, as a working mother, I have to choose this way. Working mothers can only do their best to accompany their children with high quality after work.

Therefore, for stay-at-home mothers, they can choose whether to take care of their children themselves or their elders. But as a working mother, she has no choice but to choose her elders to help with her children.

For a long time, there has been a constant debate about whether the elderly should be allowed to help take care of the children and whether the elderly should be grateful to the children. In fact, it is never clear what this kind of "help" is. Comparing and comparing help are actually not the same thing, because each method of help is different. Let me give two extreme examples. In Shanghai, some are like this. The old man lives near his son's daughter-in-law's house. He comes to make breakfast in the morning and sends his little grandson to school. Then the enviable girls and in-laws around him are like this. These girls said all this with gratitude. Another kind of help is this. I live in my son's wife's house. I kicked the door early in the morning to ask my daughter-in-law to get up and make breakfast, then scolded my grandson and son to get up, and then ordered my daughter-in-law to feed, swearing that this was not right and that was too hot, complaining that breakfast was late, delaying my son's work (my daughter-in-law also had to go to work), and complaining that breakfast was not rich in variety and had no appetite. When my son and daughter-in-law left, I took the children to watch TV. Then, she said that her daughter-in-law was poor and had no money, and she didn't take her son as an apprentice. If her daughter-in-law talks back, she shouts at her son, get a divorce quickly! Do these two kinds of old people help their children equally? Therefore, I think the online debate on this issue will never come to fruition. The first kind of families who get help from the elderly feel that the second kind is particularly ungrateful, and the second kind hopes that the elderly will leave their children alone!

Personally, I don't think it should be taken by elders, but only when I'm not at work. If it is exclusive to the elderly, that's not good. First, the old people are tired. Secondly, the old people take care of their children in a traditional way and spoil them. Moreover, if the elderly get used to it and spoil it, children will also become dependent.

My eldest son is a boy. Because I was young when I got married, and the children were born to my mother-in-law, my son was disobedient, crying when he said a few words, crying when he didn't buy anything to buy, running to feed when he was three or four years old, and many other bad habits ... So, children had better be with their children.

Attached are two pictures, but my son didn't cooperate with me when he took them.

It is definitely the best for children to take care of themselves, but now many people are forced by social pressure and helplessness at work to choose their parents to take care of their children. Tell me how you feel! From the beginning of pregnancy, my mother-in-law came over and worked every day during pregnancy, but the whole pregnancy was not bad. In the first few months, the morning sickness reaction was not very big, and the stomach was not very big in the later period. The whole pregnancy was good. After the child was born, she walked around the child all day, and it was not bad to ask for a new moon during confinement. After the new moon left, she did everything herself. Every day is feeding, changing clothes and touching and massaging the baby. Taking the baby for a walk, etc ... Now taking the baby is different from before. Being a mother needs to learn all kinds of skills, and everything is for the children. So the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law gradually evolved, and various contradictions continued. After three months of preliminary decision, I gave the child to my mother-in-law. It turned out to be completely impossible. I taught her a lot about parenting, but I didn't learn it. The eternal answer to many questions is that I don't know. Many times I am helpless. As time goes by, the child has been six months old. I have evolved from simply taking care of children to a housewife, taking care of everything for children, accompanying me to do early education, making complementary food, washing clothes and mopping the floor. I have to arrange everything myself, and I have to look after my mother-in-law when I am busy. When I am not busy, my children spend more time with me. When children get older, the problem of education becomes more serious. My grandmother dotes on her children and always intervenes, fearing that the children will be wronged. So now that the child is over 2 years old, she has been taking care of the child. Husband is too busy, and everything at home is her own concern. So more often, she thinks it's important to take care of children. More often, the mother-in-law has no hobbies except taking care of the children. At home, she just plays with her mobile phone and watches TV. All her energy is focused on the children. When the child is young, she is not allowed to touch it. Tell her not to touch anything except dangerous goods. Everything else can be explored by children ... parents should have their own lives and have no obligation to help us take care of our children. Don't think about relying on them to help us solve everything. In a word, I don't think parents should take care of our children completely, but it is ok to take care of them occasionally. Although they are tired of taking care of their children, they have a lot of fun.

You'd better bring your own if you have time. If not, let the elders take it. It is not necessarily impossible for elders to take care of their children. There are also many outstanding talents brought up by their elders. Only self-help is more conducive to children's development, and parent-child relationship and things that children contact are more conducive to children's development.

My own daughter is now 1.5 years old. Because we are all very busy, grandparents brought us up. The elders do give their children some bad education.

For example, when my daughter falls, my grandmother and grandparents will teach her to hit the floor, saying that the floor caused her to fall.

Sometimes when my father teases my daughter, he will say, you are so stupid, little fool and so on. If you find something wrong, you will communicate with the elderly in time and try to guide the elderly to educate their children without hurting them.

We ask old people to take care of children, not just old people. We video, call and chat with children every day. The parent-child relationship is quite good. Every time I tell my child that I will come to see you tomorrow, the child will wait for us at the roadside the next day.

The day before yesterday, my wife went to pick up the children and came back for vaccination. I called the child before she came back. The child has been waiting by the roadside. After my wife came, the child ran out to find his father. He didn't see me, so he dragged his mother home. I didn't say before that the child wasn't ready to go home when he answered. From this point of view, children are quite sensible and very much hope to be with their parents. In the past, my wife and I took the children to the streets, and the children must only be led by their mothers. Now we will go shopping together when we come back, and the children will let me hold hands with my wife.

So I suggest that if you have time, you'd better bring it yourself.

I think it's better to take care of the children by myself. My grandmother raised me with a special sense of insecurity when I was a child. My parents are very busy at work and seldom go home to accompany me, so I am particularly introverted and inferior now. The most important thing is that I feel alienated from my parents now. I just think my grandmother is the best in my heart. In order to have a happy childhood for my children, even if I am tired again, I will take care of my children myself and not let others help me!

I think children should try to stay with their parents. My baby grew up with his grandmother in the country. Now I took him to the county seat. Obviously, he doesn't fit in with the children here. He is introverted and timid. The way the elderly are educated may be a little different from our generation. Old people prefer children. For new mothers, the concept of education is naturally a bit outdated!

As a grassroots educator, I believe that the analysis of answering questions may bring some reference to the topic.

First, the disadvantages of elders taking care of children (also called intergenerational education).

1. Poor hygiene habits.

For example, elders will try to perm their hair by drinking water (milk, etc.). ) I am. We know that this method will transmit adult flora to children, and children have weak resistance and are prone to illness. In fact, the correct way is to test the temperature with the back of your hand. But the old man is not used to it and is not at ease. They feel at ease after tasting it themselves. Persuade him not to listen, and he will get angry.

2. pass the buck.

The child accidentally fell, and the old man quickly helped him up, complaining that the ground was uneven, complaining that the table was in the way, and so on. Anyway, he is looking for an excuse to pass the buck. Children are strong imitators, so when they make mistakes, the first thing they think of is to find a scapegoat. When I grow up, I will develop the habit of shirking my responsibilities, showing irresponsibility, complaining about my parents and being unwilling to review myself. This shortcoming is sometimes fatal.

3. coquetry.

Because old people are busy with work when they are young, they have no time to take care of their children. After retirement, he suddenly found that he owed too much to his children when he was young, and when the children were older, he wanted to return this guilt to his grandson. Therefore, in their eyes, children are the treasures of the family, and they are given whatever they want. If they want a moon, they want to move a ladder to pick them up. This kind of doting will often be brought up as a sexually arrogant child. If something happens, he will cry and even roll on the ground.

Second, the advantages of the elderly with children.

1. Every generation.

Grandparents can hurt their grandchildren to the bone, so they are afraid to eat them in their mouths and fly them in their hands. It is not uncommon for parents to quarrel with their parents because of educating their children. Old people can even indiscriminately interfere with the education of their sons and grandchildren.

2. Have old experience.

Old people are not only experienced in taking care of children's diet and daily life, but also have a good understanding of local customs, revolutionary stories and fine traditions, which can be used to educate children.

3. Have enough time and patience.

After retirement, the old people have no distractions, a lot of time, and enough patience to educate their children to have innate advantages that young people do not have.

Third, strengthen communication to achieve parenting knowledge.

Once young people find that the elderly have problems with their children, they should communicate with the elderly as soon as possible, paying attention to the tone and way of communication, otherwise it will cause the elderly to resent and refuse to accept our suggestions.

Should children be taken care of by their elders?

1. Now young people's children need the care of their elders, and their parents are probably in their thirties. Many peers are only children. This makes them unique. Because I grew up with the care of my elders (including grandparents), they easily rely on Jiao Heng's thoughts. ...

Maybe some children think that you should take care of me when you give birth to me, and so should my children. Why else would you give birth to me? I heard this sentence from an elder sister. She said that her children often say this sentence, although his children are 35 years old this year. At the same time, the elder sister is taking care of the children's family of three and providing living expenses free of charge. ...

1, the reason why parents take care of their children's family life without regrets is nothing more than to make the big family and the small family more harmonious. More is to love grandchildren and children from the heart. ...

I think as a young man who needs parents to look after his children, he should be kind to his parents. It's not how much you bought for your parents, but how much you gave them. It is the tone and understanding of talking to parents, which can impress parents and make them more willing to cook for you and look after your children.

1, sooner or later, you will become your parents. When your parents are away, you should be filial in time! In fact, speaking well to parents is also a kind of filial piety.

Secondly, there are disadvantages for parents to take care of their children, because they are separated generations after all. As the saying goes, every generation of parents may spoil their children in some ways. This requires Bao Dad and Ma Bao to communicate with their parents, be reasonable and give their children a filial attitude. Maybe the way you treat your parents now is the way your children will treat you in the future. ...