I always feel very lonely at home. My parents have good personalities, especially my father, who doesn't talk much at home. They never joke or quarrel at home.

Your personality is probably influenced by your parents, and you are still a long way from despair. No one is a natural social star. Try to get in touch with cheerful people, get together with classmates and friends, and attend meetings. Don't always think that all obstacles are set by yourself, and don't be afraid to say the wrong thing, because you are close by yourself. What if you don't speak or keep silent when the leader asks you to go to the meeting in the future? Come on, exercise yourself from now on!