Psychological course of 22-year-old patients with lumbar process (1)

The quality of sleep in the hospital is really poor. I have been hospitalized for nearly 20 days, and I have to endure different living habits of different people every day. It's really hard, especially after the earplugs are dropped, and sleeping has become a luxury, especially this week.

Perhaps it is because the low back and leg pain is mainly middle-aged and elderly people, so more than 90% of the rehabilitation departments in hospitals are middle-aged and elderly people. And their biggest similarity is getting up early. Especially middle-aged women who work long hours get up early at six o'clock. During this period of hospitalization, people in the same bed have changed wave after wave, and middle-aged women in their 50 s basically get up at 6 o'clock. There are three beds in the ward. After getting up, we started to communicate. Then I, a person who can't sleep until two or three o'clock or even four o'clock, was constantly woken up and barely slept until 7: 30 to get up and wash, waiting for my father to deliver breakfast. After breakfast, I started the morning treatment.

As for noon, people who have recently been admitted to the hospital obviously have no habit of taking a lunch break at noon. When I finished my lunch break, I was either chatting or talking on the phone. Even after a little today, when I gradually fell asleep, I danced square dance with loud music. Buddha, fortunately, the earplugs that were placed in JD.COM last night arrived today.

Insomnia is really a very tormenting thing, and it will also affect the mentality. After being ill for so long, it hurts to breathe when the pain is unbearable. When you lie down and fall asleep, you can't sleep because of slight breathing and weak twitching of leg muscles. At that time, I was able to keep a good attitude, but I didn't sleep at night, and I was woken up again and again by various ringtones. I really couldn't stand the idea of giving up.

When I don't sleep at night, I really have all kinds of thoughts, such as anxiety about finding a job after recovery, anxiety about achieving nothing after graduation, anxiety about making a living, and anxiety about owing tens of thousands of student loans.

Although people around me have been saying not to think too much, just rest in peace. But the reality is naked in front of us.

After graduating from college, I resigned and went home for illness less than a month after working. I don't have much work experience and no skills to make a living. You may need to stay in bed for a month or two. I wonder if I can catch up with the job season.

In my senior year, in order to find a better job, I spent a lot of energy, submitted countless resumes and interviewed many times. After several internships, I finally found a decent internship in Beijing. Because of my lack of experience, I found that internship was the best way out when I was looking for a job in March.

Renting a house in Beijing and living alone in a strange corner of the city. The internship salary is not high, even the rent is not enough. With the scholarship, plus a little money saved from previous internships and part-time jobs, internship and graduation design were very busy during that time. Although it is an internship, it has always been regarded as a formal employee. It is common for manuscripts to be scolded for being poorly written. It is also common to sit up all night after finishing.

I have always felt that I am in good health, and it doesn't matter if I stay up late, but I have never thought about the harm caused by sedentary. This sentence is not just talk.

It may be that I worked too hard during that time, often sedentary and did not exercise, and there were great problems in sleeping and sitting. Unhealthy living habits accelerate the pathological changes of lumbar disc herniation.

Then the result was that I lay in Beijing for two weeks, went to several top three hospitals, spent almost all my money, and finally resigned and went home to recuperate.

From just graduated from complacency to nothing now.

I remember when the pain started, it was Sunday. I didn't finish reading the manuscript I had to hand in on Monday. At night, I was too painful to sit up and finish my work because of my back pain. I thought I was going to be scolded again. Physical pain and inner anxiety are intertwined, and emotions directly collapse. I cried with music that night.

I didn't think at that time that this would be the beginning of a long-term struggle with the disease.

Just like dreaming, in the first week, I took painkillers and got some relief. I endured the pain and went to the hospital three times, almost all by myself. In a tertiary hospital in Beijing, it took three working days to get the film, so I went to get it on Friday. The doctor said directly that I needed surgery. At that time, I took a week off in succession. I thought I could go back to work when I was better, because the department has been short of people, and the leader also said that it is impossible to keep asking me to take time off.

At that moment, I was puzzled, and I checked a lot of information myself. I knew that the operation was only a temporary solution to lumbar disc herniation, and the recurrence rate was also very high. The doctor said that surgery was needed, but he didn't say other treatment suggestions, so he prescribed several hundred and two boxes of plaster.

Plaster is really useful. After two days, I relaxed a lot. At that time I even dreamed of going back to a better job. After a few days, I didn't feel much better. I want to go to Chinese medicine to see what treatment advice I have. This time, I went all the way to Haidian College of Traditional Chinese Medicine and spent 100 registration fee to hang a chief physician. The answer is that I have to stay in bed for three weeks, except eating and drinking Lazar.

I'm running out of money and I'm in poor health. I can't continue to pay rent and take-out, so I have to quit my job and go home. I have been ill for more than a week, and I have been supporting myself, afraid to tell my family. Mom just got out of the hospital because of dizziness. I really don't want to worry my family too much, but I can't help it in the face of such a disease.

In the days of preparing to go home, I also have a lot of anxiety, because the long journey will increase the burden on my family. I just got home, and I feel very difficult. Although I can barely walk, the doctor advised me to stay in bed for three weeks, which made me afraid to run too much. It is more than 2,000 kilometers from Beijing to the small rural areas in Guangxi. The doctor said it was best to take the train, but then it rained heavily in Henan, including many cities in the south, and many trains were stuck on the road. The train to the south kept stopping, and the ticket went up all the way. In the difficult choice, I finally bought the earliest direct flight ticket back to Nanning.

Because of the problem of how to get home, I have been anxious for several days, trying to minimize the rush, but the conditions are limited, and the long journey from the airport to home is the most worrying. I can't sleep when I am in a hurry. After buying a plane ticket, I hardly slept at night and struggled in endless insomnia.

It's not that easy to find someone to pick you up. Fortunately, I finally got in touch with a relative who was driving a taxi in Nanning through my seven aunts at home, and the road I had been worried about was finally settled.

Unexpectedly, the airport is also quite humanized. Before boarding the plane, the staff saw that I was really struggling to walk, and suggested that I tell the stewardess to get off the plane and help me find a wheelchair. Finally, a flight attendant really pushed me out of the terminal in a wheelchair.

Poor me, I didn't ask anything at Daxing airport. It took me almost an hour to walk through the self-service check-in, endure pain and sweat, before I found the boarding gate and went to the bus ferry to board the plane. When I finally boarded the plane, I walked up those high stairs and almost killed me.

But now that I think about it, I was lucky to lie in Beijing for two weeks when I was sick, because I met many warm and kind people. For example, my aunt often comes to help me clean my room, help me pack my luggage, take me to the landlord of the hospital, my sister who delivers takeout and throws garbage next door every day, my fellow villager who massages my arm, and my husband, who visits my leading colleagues and takes me to the airport early in the morning.

With so many warm people, I really feel the power of kindness and gentleness. In our life, we will inevitably encounter all kinds of difficulties and setbacks. People who are willing to help you when you are in trouble are really valuable.

I also hope that I can have the ability to hold an umbrella for others after being caught in the rain.