What do people with depression want to hear?

The self-report of a severe patient who has been suffering from bipolar disorder for more than 10 years at the age of 21.

As a person with bipolar disorder, I can no longer find a goal in life. Self-mutilation awakens your own desire to live. Tell yourself, look, you are still afraid of pain, so don’t think about death easily. I took medicine, went to the doctor, and occasionally stopped the medicine willfully. I heard too many things that I didn’t want to hear. Then let me tell you what I want to hear. Right

1. You think too much, just look at it more. (One of the most annoying words) Can you say: What makes you happy when you think of it, let’s try it together

2. Are you afraid of living even if you are not afraid of death? (Living is more painful than death.) (more) Can you say: tell me before you decide to die, I also want to show you the world

3. Depression is not a serious disease (it is not a serious disease but it can kill people) (life) Can you say: Let’s find a way to cure it together, and live peacefully with your big black dog together

4. When you feel uncomfortable and cry (don’t ask what’s wrong, what Needless to say, just give them a hug and give them a good hug. This is the time when they are most aggrieved and they are venting their negative emotions. Please do not interrupt them to vent their emotions, even if you feel sorry for them. Don’t interrupt the emotions that he has finally vented)

5. Regarding self-harm (self-harm is not cowardly or fun). Do not have any mood swings for depressed patients who have self-harming behavior. No one wants to be in pain. If you hurt yourself, can you say something to your partner: You must be feeling very uncomfortable. Is the wound painful? Let me help you take care of the wound.

Second update

1. Do you want to Have you ever loved someone who loves you? They will feel sorry for you more if they do this. (Generally, sick people think too much about others, which makes them feel so uncomfortable, so don’t let them learn to think in their shoes at this time)

Can you say: Please give us some time so that we can slowly get to know you and learn to understand you?

2. Parents should never say that they want to live well for me or think more about us (most patients have their illnesses from their families of origin, and I am no exception)

Can you say: You must have suffered a lot these years. I know it, we all know it. I’m sorry that I wasn’t by your side when you were in the most difficult time

Third More

(Thank you so many kind-hearted people. At the same time, I feel very sad. There are so many people in this world who are suffering like me. Hug you. Recently, I have become sleepy. I don’t socialize, don’t go out, and don’t want to think. If you like it, I will definitely update it and try to bring a little light to you and myself)

1. What psychological problems can TA have? Young people (this sentence is usually said more by elders, and the tone is mostly mocking)

Can you say: What should we pay attention to? How should I get along with him?

2. Are you okay? When is the best time? Why isn't it better yet? (Depression is not a cold, and it cannot be cured by saying yes)

Can you say: Have you been feeling uncomfortable in any way recently? Is there anything you want to share with me?

3. Are you sick? (This sentence has no explanation)

It is a fact that patients with depression cannot listen to you.

The reason why patients with depression are depressed is that they have been controlled by negative emotions to a large extent. In severe cases, they often have extreme thoughts in their minds that linger.

If you want to say something, it is recommended that you act as a listener so that the patient can open up and talk to you. You just listen quietly, or from time to time express sincere understanding and understanding of what he is saying. Sure, give him a sense of security.

What do people with depression want to hear?

Patients with depression, like patients with other mental illnesses, are like walking into a maze and falling into a quagmire. The possibility of self-healing is extremely small and they need external help, and this external force must be professional.

Many family members, relatives and friends will usually comfort the patient, saying things like what he wants to eat, what he should eat, it’s no big deal, etc. These words may sound fine, but patients generally don’t like to hear them. The most important thing is that it is useless, and you may get disgusted if you talk too much.

What patients with depression want to hear is why they are in so much pain, what is the cause of the pain, and what can be done to get rid of the pain. What they need is practical and operational methods, not empty preaching. Only those who understand the formation principles of depression, the personality characteristics of patients with depression, and the ideas for recovery from depression can speak to the patient's heart. Only then can the patient feel that there are people who understand him and understand him, and then he can see hope and the symptoms will be relieved. alleviate.

In the days when you are accompanied by depression, please don’t say this to him or her...

1. The world is beautiful, the sun is bright, life is meaningful, and everything is so beautiful.

(There is no point in forcing him to accept that life is beautiful. It will only make him more troubled.)

2. Be strong and cheer up.

(A warning will not help, no one wants to stay away from depression.)

3. You think too much.

(You know the problem is in his or her head, but please don’t tell her that.)

4. Be a mature person.

(It is useless to accuse someone when they are not ready. Depression is a disease, not a sign of weakness.)

5. You should do this... ..., your mood will feel better.

(Don’t be self-righteous and give unfounded advice.)

6. You are great! Be more positive and optimistic! Don't move, let me do it...

(There is nothing wrong with being considerate and considerate, but over-encouragement and care will make him feel worse about himself.)

7. Do you want everyone to care about you?

(Please don’t label him or her as someone seeking attention. This will belittle and hurt him. He is not seeking attention, but he does need attention.)

8. A lot People have worse lives than you.

(Please do not deliberately point out that there are millions of people in the world who are more miserable than you. This will only deepen your sense of guilt and powerlessness.)

9. Follow I went out to sing and eat late night snacks... There is no grass in the world, so why bother...

(Please don't force him to do things he doesn't want to do, and don't make excuses for his behavior. This is just... It will make him more desperate and further away from life. )

Please say this to him...

1. I want to talk to you just because I care about you.

Please be careful about touching his heart.

Maybe he is not ready to talk yet.

Tell him/her that you want to talk just because you care about him/her.

2. Send you a gift.

If you want to convey some useful help information to TA,

please try to do it as quietly as possible.

You can give a book about mental health,

and put it in a bookcase, bedside, bathroom...

3. Hmm~

Try to listen without commenting. This is the best gift you can give him.

4. How about we go see if the doctor can help us?

Please encourage him or her to seek professional help bravely.

Your help and companionship are a huge comfort and encouragement.

5. Shh~ Mom is resting, please don’t disturb her.

Give him a chance to relax,

But don’t do everything for him.

6. How about we go swimming and running together?

Encourage him/her to adhere to various forms of daily exercise,

This can be very effective in weakening the power of negative emotions.

7. Mom will stay with you for a while?

Get the same support from close friends and family,

Give them the opportunity to get along with people every day.

Grab a coffee, say hello,

These simple gestures can help.

Help them simplify their life and work.

The less stress, the less depression.

Note: Patients with depression do not want to hear any comfort or advice.

Depression and depressed mood are very serious psychological problems. Although patients with depression have different reasons for their depression, they have some symptoms in common - a sense of nothingness, meaninglessness, and unreality.

In a day for patients with depression, they will feel that everything is meaningless, and they will become very dull, unable to feel any emotions, and some will only have thoughts of suicide. At the same time, while they have such changes, they have to "act" as a normal person with stable emotions every day, which will make them feel false because no one sees and accepts their true self.

When facing a patient with depression, all you need is to understand him (her), accept him (her), and support him (her). Note that this does not require you to pity them, nor does it require you to Teach them how to live a better life and so on. Patients with depression have many inner conflicts, and they have already thought about many reasons. They no longer need you to reason with them, because if you advise them to "get better" it means that you think depression is "wrong", that is, Saying that you have denied their depressed mood and symptoms will make them feel more like they are not accepted.

What you need to do is treat them as normal people, discuss their depression feelings without prejudice, accept them as they are, and treat them with understanding and respect. Infect them with your own confidence and sunshine instead of telling them to "be confident."

Thank you for reading this. If you think the content is helpful to you, please give it a like and support it. If you have any thoughts, comment below and I'll try to answer them.

Baidu Encyclopedia explains that depression is one of the mental diseases and can be divided into mild, moderate and severe. It manifests as low mood, unwillingness to contact others, avoidance of stimulation, long-term inability to experience happiness or lack of pleasure, self-blame and guilt, anxiety or slow response, lack of decision-making ability, etc.

Once patients with depression feel that they have the above symptoms, they should see a doctor in time, consult a neurologist or psychologist, and receive treatment with the help of a doctor. In addition, you should also actively adjust your mentality and conduct self-psychological counseling.

1. Actively carry out self-psychological counseling, listen to more relaxing music, cultivate a variety of interests and hobbies, make more friends and participate in group activities, and communicate more with people around you, which will help relieve depression. Come out.

2. Seek help from a psychologist and consult a psychologist regularly. If depression reaches a certain level, you should not avoid taking medicine. The following are "three tubes": medication, psychological counseling from a doctor, and regulating your emotions by yourself.

3. Pay more attention to your diet. It is recommended to eat more foods with high vitamin B and amino acid content, such as fish, fresh fruits and vegetables, grains and soy products.

Based on my personal experience, in addition to the above-mentioned relevant knowledge, one must also have sufficient psychological endurance. Admit it and don't avoid it. Taking medicine is the key. Once you have it, make peace with it. If you suffer from depression, don't be too afraid or too distressed. Mental illness should be treated carefully and consciously, and a way to overcome it with positive energy should be found.

A few years ago, due to constant changes in my family, I was in great pain and extremely anxious. I washed my face all day long, suffered from severe insomnia at night, could not sleep for ten consecutive days, and even had thoughts of committing suicide many times. People are lazy all day long, don't want to do things, don't want to talk, are depressed, and can't bring themselves to do anything.

I realized that I was sick and had both anxiety and depression. Whenever I think of my mother and my young son, for the sake of the one I love, I don’t hesitate, see a doctor, and insist on taking medicine.

As the saying goes, "Illness comes like a mountain falling, and illness goes away like a silk thread." In order to get better as soon as possible, I insist on exercising early from 5 to 6 o'clock every day and walk 10 kilometers quickly. After lunch break, practice calligraphy for 2 hours. Write in a journal and listen to music at night. Don’t stay up late at night and rest on time!

After nearly a year of medication and my own hard work, I have gradually come out of my depression. In addition, I like to code words and express my feelings in short essays, which diverts my attention.

Now I am active in the community and participate in some charity activities. I usually do my best to take care of my family, and my quality of life has been greatly improved. I no longer have anxiety and depression, and I can live happily every day!

Understand her, obey her, take the trouble to treat her with the attitude of first love, the main thing is to listen, they will say the same thing ten times, twenty times, thirty times, you have to take the trouble to take it seriously. Listen,