Crosstalk "I can't stand it"

Yun-peng Yue and Sun Yue can be said to be good partners of the prosecuting judge. In the program, they cooperated tacitly and brought laughter to the audience. I like Pinkley and Yue Yue. They are a little fat. Here are the lines of his performance "I can't stand it" in the Spring Festival Evening of 20 15. Let's enjoy them together.

Crosstalk "I can't stand it" Line B: Happy New Year, Happy New Year, Happy New Year. I wish everyone good health, all the best and a happy family in the new year.

A: Come here, come here, I said, didn't you come home for the New Year? What are you doing here?

Forget it. I can't go back to my home.

Yo, what happened?

B: My mother insisted that I take my girlfriend home for the Spring Festival.

Is that a bad thing?

B: It's a good thing, but my girlfriend broke up with me.

A: It must be because you were unkind to others that others broke up with you.

You are really wrong. Breaking up is good for me.

Who is to blame?

B: Of course it's up to her!

A: What's the matter?

B: You don't know that this girl is too noisy now and always unhappy. In the past, women paid attention to three obedience and four virtues. Why didn't I catch up with her at this good time?

A: Well, isn't that the bondage of women in the old society?

B: The one you mentioned is old, and now they have a new one.

A: Yo!

B: I think it's a constraint on us men.

Then tell me, what is the three obedience?

B: Never considerate, never gentle, never reasonable.

A: What about these four virtues?

B: Don't say, don't fight, don't scold and don't provoke.

Well, okay. That can't live!

B: And the key point is that I can't coax her. She is unhappy when I see the Chinese New Year. I have to coax her quickly, I say? Honey, stop it. Stop it, okay? Who's in trouble? Who's got you? Ah, can't you be a big man and say you're sorry? Cann't you just say you're sorry Seeing that everyone said so, how can I make a quick gesture? Excuse me. Guess what he said?

What did he say?

B: You think an apology is enough!

A: Hi!

No, that's all she said!

A: There is no such thing.

B: We just broke up!

A: Alas, alas, alas, don't break up easily, just say it's not good for you!

Didn't I tell you? Breaking up is not a bad thing.

No, wait a minute. What do you mean?

Not bad for me.

Then who is to blame?

Because she hates me so much.

What do people dislike about you?

B: I was ugly at first.

A: Yo!

I have to explain to her! I said, honey, I'm not ugly. I said you have never seen an ugly one.

A: Ah!

B: I've seen ugly ones. I've never seen you so ugly. At first glance, it looks ugly, but on closer inspection, it looks even uglier. What you say is really bad.

A: Really!

B: I'm in a hurry! I'm not ugly, I'm bad, just like an old saying goes!

what can I say?

B: There is an old saying that men are not bad and women don't love them. Besides, you women just like this kind of ugly man.

A: Yo!

B: Yes, we women like this ugly man, but we don't like ugly men.

A: ouch!

B: What you said about her is so insulting!

A: It's so irritating!

I finally overcame my ugliness.

A: Yes.

B: I have no education and have nothing in common with her.

A: You can cultivate a little hobby.

I do.

A: Oh!

B: She likes watching TV plays, and I watch them with her. She likes to watch the biography of Zhen Huan, and I watch it with her.

A: Great!

I studied this fax from Zhen Xuan.

Really?

B: This atlas has several pronunciations.

A: Oh!

I learned Huan, Xuan and Joan. Have I studied it?

You haven't done enough research.

B: there is research!

A: Hmm!

I can't even speak human language.

A: Really!

She sits down before dinner every day. I had to kneel on the ground to invite her, and I had to use a long Zhen Xuan.

Well, how can I say that?

B: I'll help you learn.

A: You learn and we listen.

B: She sat down and I knelt on the ground.

A: Hmm!

B: My young master has never been beautiful or handsome. Recently, due to all kinds of complicated things, his face is slightly haggard. My slave has owed my master for many years, and I feel disappointed every time I think about it. So I specially prepared loyalty and justice food, which coincided with the first-class spicy ingredients that the imperial mother had just sent to tribute to Fanbang. My slave thought selfishly, it would be great if my master used it. What about the little idea?

Well, what does that mean?

B: I just asked her if Zhajiang Noodles was enough.

Alas, Huo! Why are you so troublesome?

B: Isn't it obvious that I have a culture?

A: If you are literate, you should read more.

B: forget about reading. Don't be angry if you don't mention reading. The mere mention of reading makes you angry.

A: What's the matter?

I was reading at home that day. Emperor Kangxi of the Qing Dynasty made great achievements at the age of 23. How can I compare with others? Can I not be angry? Go on, the Tongzhi emperor of the Qing Dynasty died for four years, at the age of 23. Well, I'm balanced.

? Hi, how are you? What kind of mentality is this!

B: Later, I finally felt that I had no culture.

A: I don't care about you!

You think I have no money.

Oh, that shouldn't be.

B: You said she had no money. She was nice to me!

Then who is to blame?

B: It's my dad.

Well, is it ridiculous to rely on your father?

B: Nonsense. My dad has no money. Can I have some money?

A: What logic?

B: Of course it depends on him!

A: Oh!

I have a friend whose father is a big boss in business.

A: Yes!

B: The second generation will be rich if they do nothing. Alas, people live in that house.

A: Forget it, don't talk about others here. What's the use? It's called wasting resources. What should we pay attention to now? It is shameful to waste and preserve glory.

Hey, you are jealous when you say that.

A: There is nothing to be jealous of.

Let me ask you something about a good house.

A: The villa.

Who still lives in the villa? Now living in quadrangles is exquisite.

A: Yes!

People talk about quadrangles.

A: Yes.

B: The People's Court is more than 700 yards, and there are hundreds of expressways in it.

A: H.

B: His father drove to the toilet and came back halfway.

A: What's the matter?

I have no choice.

Hi, how are you?

Well, let me tell you something.

A: What's its name? It's called.

B: People's rice bowls, pure gold rice bowls. Have you ever used someone else's toilet, pure gold, pure gold toilet?

A: I'm afraid there's a mix-up.

B: How can it be confused? There is water in the toilet.

I like soup.

B: When you say that, you are jealous, not envious of others.

A: There is nothing to envy. I tell you, wealth is earned by yourself, which is very valuable.

B: don't talk to me about struggle. I won't be angry until I talk about struggle. I watched a TV series called Struggle the other day, and I was very angry. There is a boy named Lu Tao in it, which is so irritating. His father has billions of property, and several beautiful women around him like him. Finally, guess what he said.

Say what?

That's not what I want. What you want is not what I want. Yes

Hello. What can I do for you?

B: Well, my dad has billions of assets, and I still take the bus every day. I bought a car long ago.

A: Yo.

I have made up my mind. If I buy a car, I will buy a bus.

A: What is this photo?

B: Take the bus lane specially, and don't block it. Specially parked at the bus station, no parking fee. Someone gets on the bus, tell him to get off, our private car.

A: Hi? Don't be paranoid, but go to work on a down-to-earth basis.

B: Work?

A: Ah.

I have to have a job first.

A: Look for it.

B: I can't find it.

A: It's up to you if you can't find a job!

B: it's not bad for me not to find a job.

Not bad for you?

Of course it's good for me! How difficult it is to find a job now. Many companies don't give living expenses and always need work experience. Well, do you think there are them?

A: Gee, there's nothing wrong with him.

B: Why, Zhuge Liang didn't take his troops before he came out. Why do you ask me about my work experience?

Look, he's still in a hurry.

B: No hurry? Many companies won't give me an interview, and the interviewer is so angry. I went to a company that day and everything was fine. Finally, the interviewer almost didn't piss me off. What did he say? Let him remember me in the shortest time. I thought it was simple.

A: Ah.

B: I walked up to him and threw it out? Dad? Just a big mouth. Hum, do you think he still remembers me?

Remember that.

B: I remember, I remember, my job is gone.

A: Yes, yes, who told you to hit him?

B: find something else quickly.

A: Yes.

I managed to find a job with a monthly salary of 3000 yuan in a foreign trade company.

A: That will do.

B: It doesn't matter whether it's money or not. This company is quite formal.

A: That will do.

B: That will do.

A: Yes.

B: Keep working and try to make money. A month later, I didn't take a penny and returned it to others for 2000.

A: Well, what's wrong?

B: According to company regulations, you are not allowed to be late for work, and you will be fined 200 for being late once.

Why do you have to be late?

B: Being late is not bad for me!

Not bad for you.

B: Our company is in the Sixth Ring Road in Northeast China, and our family lives in the Fifth Ring Road in Southwest China. Going to work every day is the same as learning from the scriptures.

A: Yes, yes.

B: And the traffic jam is too serious. How serious is the traffic jam in this big city now? The morning rush hour is from 6: 00 a.m. to 6: 00 p.m. 12 p.m.

A: One day.

Have you forgotten that famous saying? The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but between you and me.

A: Well, yes, yes. You, don't follow the emotion, okay? Or because you got up late.

Not because I got up late, but because I live far away.

A: Oh?

Why do I live far away?

A: Why?

B: it's good for me, too.

A: Not bad for you.

B: How expensive the house prices are in the city! This developer sells 50,000 to 6. 1 10,000 square meters of houses, which I can afford.

Ah, yes. Well, then why not buy this house?

B: if you don't buy a house, the money is not enough! How expensive it is now. It costs hundreds of dollars to buy anything casually in the supermarket, and it is more expensive to eat something good. I went to the supermarket that day and wanted to buy a bass to eat. Perch is 30 yuan a catty, which is too expensive!

A: As for such hard work.

Don't tell me there are some cheap ones.

A: How about the cheaper one?

B: it's cheap to die.

A: Here you are.

B: Fifteen yuan a catty.

A: Yes.

But death is not new. Life is too expensive. I am so entangled in living.

A: How uncomfortable!

What do you suggest? I don't know once I cut it.

What idea?

B: I'll wait.

A: Wait a minute?

B: I'll wait until the fish dies. If it's just dead, I'll buy it back. Cheap and fresh. I'll wait here.

Ok, wait a minute.

B: I'll wait until I die.

Oh, yes. Oh, wait a minute. Are you waiting to die? Waiting for the fish to die.

B: I'll wait here for the fish to die.

A: Alas!

B: After waiting for three hours, none of the fish died. I can't wait. I'm afraid I can't consume it.

Oh, not at all.

B: What shall we do? As soon as I reached out, I copied a copy and put it in the fish tank.

A: Look for it.

B: Why are there no dead fish? Why are there no dead fish? There are no dead fish. There are no dead fish. There are no dead fish. The waiter next to me can't stand the knock, sir. This knock doesn't count.

A: Huo? You are so evil.

B: I can't help it Who let me earn less in this job?

A: Then you can change your job.

That's too easy. I don't think I can find a good job in my life.

A: You just have no confidence in yourself.

I have no confidence. But I have no confidence in it. Not bad for me!

Oh, not bad for you.

B: I suffered setbacks when I was a child.

What setbacks?

B: I was smart when I was a child, and my parents had high expectations of me. It's called wishing my children success.

A: That's right.

B: So my dad signed me up for an interest class in Olympic Mathematics. I didn't want to go, so I asked him, Dad, what is Olympic Mathematics? My father lied to me. The Olympics are playing table tennis and swimming. I really believe him.

A: Yes.

On the first day, I wore swimming trunks to class.

A: Ah.

B: The whole class laughed at me for half a year.

I can't help laughing.

B: as a result, my academic performance has been unable to go up.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Poor academic performance has nothing to do with this, because you didn't study hard.

B: Let me talk about poor academic performance?

Not bad for me.

Well, so can you.

A: Nonsense.

I'm telling you, it's not bad for me

What's the matter with you?

Thanks to our teacher!

What happened to the teacher?

B: the teacher doesn't teach well.

A: Yo.

Especially our biology teacher.

A: Ah.

How irritating!

A: Tell me about it.

She failed in the exam. She keeps a bird. Let's answer it. What habitat? What bird? What's its name? No, he has to make things more difficult. She took a cloth bag and put the bird on to show its legs. Let's guess what bird it is. Isn't that nonsense? I will roll up my trouser legs. You know who I am!

Hello.

B: I didn't get a good job because of my poor grades. My girlfriend broke up with me and couldn't go home. I think these things are good for me.

A: Come on, come on, it won't do you any harm. I think it is entirely up to you. Such an adult will say that this is not bad for me. It's called passing the buck, you know? Why do you always complain about others complaining about society and coveting those crooked ways? Without love, you can pursue love and create opportunities. If you have a job, you must work hard. Don't blame others for your fantastic ideas. If you want to change your life, you have to rely on yourself.

What you said is very reasonable. I might as well study for ten years if I listen to you. I can't talk empty words or talk big. Empty talk will only make my country wrong. Only hard work can make the country prosperous. I listen to you and start a new life from now on.

A: OK.

B: Well, I still can't hear you and you can't tell me.

A: Why?

B: because this is not bad for me.

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