Dad is in his pocket.

1. Look at Li Rumeng's father. He didn't graduate from primary school, and now he is the general manager with a lot of money in his hand. Look at your passbook. Fortunately, you are still a senior, and you haven't reached five figures yet. It's bad luck for me to marry you for eight generations.

2. Dad was so ashamed that he wanted his head to fall to the ground. After this storm, my father, who used to be taller than my mother, is now only my mother's shoulder height. To talk to my mother, you must first put two bricks under my feet.

My mom's idea made my dad rediscover the value of life, but it made me very miserable. Since then, I have to put my father in my pocket every day. I go to school, go home from school, do my homework, sleep and go to the toilet. I am like a prisoner, and I have no personal freedom.

You useless thing, what can you do except eat? Look at Zhou's father. He is your classmate. Now he is a famous professor in Tsinghua University. He lives in a house with three bedrooms and one living room. Look at you. And you let us live in a tube-shaped apartment.

It is said that mom and dad were as strong as cows when they got married. This situation has been maintained until the first grade of my primary school, that is, the eighth anniversary of my parents' marriage, and the situation has changed dramatically:

6. Dad's face flushed and his body suddenly became shorter. The very next day, when their unit had a physical examination, when my father measured his height, he found that he was ten centimeters shorter.

One day, there was a flood in our house: I forgot to turn off the tap after washing my hands in the bathroom and went to school. Water gushed out. Dad found this situation and quickly climbed up along the tap water pipe, but his strength was too small to turn off the tap. There is more and more water flowing out of the pool, and the water potential is not optimistic. Dad had to leave home reluctantly, use a small spoon as an oar, sit in slippers and row out, only to save his life.

8. Later, my mother's reprimands became more and more frequent, from monthly training to weekly training to Japanese training, which became more and more mean and ugly. Every time I train, my father's body will shrink to the size of a teddy bear, so my mother is very alert and tries to restrain herself from getting angry with my father.

9. At breakfast the next day, my father was as tall as me, wearing round glasses and a circle of whiskers on his face. The voice hasn't changed. It's still the same as before. Hong Zhong's voice is just a little humbled and depressed.

10, right! Leader (father's name for mother). Dad gave a military salute to his mother and said respectfully.

1 1. On another occasion, when he was standing by the glass fish tank to feed the goldfish, he accidentally fell into the fish tank and was swallowed by the little goldfish. Mother was anxious to fish out the goldfish and cut its belly open with scissors. I stopped my mother, because by doing that, on the one hand, goldfish will never live; On the other hand, if you are not careful, you may cut your father. Mother asked me if there was any good way. I cut a small piece of fat from the kitchen with a knife, tied it with thread and forced the meat into the goldfish's mouth. The slippery fat slipped down the goldfish's intestines and was caught by his father. He shouted at the goldfish's stomach: pull me out quickly, it's suffocating me. I pulled the rope and dragged my father out.

12. after a hundred times, my mother will ask me: did dad bring it?

13, Dad, starting from tomorrow, I will appoint you as the Minister of Education of our family. Don't worry about anything in the future, just mind Yang Ge's daily study. If Yang Ge can't get into a key middle school in the future, just ask by yourself.

14, Dad is often attacked by some fat and big mice, so he has to take some small marbles with him. Once the mouse comes near him, he sends marbles to the mouse. There are too many marbles, and he has actually practiced the skill of serving marbles with one hand and one hand.

15, after a while, one night, my father accidentally broke a plate while washing dishes. My mother flew into a rage while watching TV, and her hands rested on her hips and scolded my father:

16, I started to check the eraser and homework. I found the first10/0-dad, put it in my pocket, and my mother assured me to go to school.

17 However, I don't know why, as long as my mother leaves home and goes for a ride, she will always be angry. Finally, one day, she lost her temper again, and the blazing flame rushed up from her head and burned the red paper on the ceiling that read "Look up" (it is said that it was posted when Mom and Dad got married). She held her father in her palm and swore. Dad can only stare blankly, but he can't talk back. When my mother was so thirsty that the flame on my head gradually went out, my father shrank to the size of his thumb.

18. It was another night, and it was deep. I just fell asleep in a daze and was awakened by the extremely high decibel voice of my mother next door. Mom is reprimanding dad again:

19. Every morning before going to school, my mother always asks me: Do you have a rubber belt? Did you bring your homework? Do you have a test paper signed by your parents? Are you wearing a red scarf? Do you have a monthly ticket by tram? Did you bring it? Did you bring it? Did you bring it? Did you bring it?

20. Look at Chen Xuehu's father. He is five years younger than you, and his diploma is not as good as yours. Now he is promoted to the chairman of the head office. Look at you. You're still a clerk. You might as well pee and drown.

2 1, my dad is really only the size of his thumb, sitting in my coat pocket all day, urging (this is my mother's words, but actually monitoring) my every move. Dad used to be as big, as strong and as fat as other people's dads, but how did he get smaller later?

Six Chapters of a Floating Life, Bian Xiao's Dream of the Wolf King, and Bian Xiao's Passing Through Your World, the key to success is often hidden in a lonely pocket.

1, some people, some things, see clearly, look down.

If you want to walk fast, you can walk alone. If you want to go far, you can go together.

3, love, so that you will not be unhappy because of other people's mistakes, but will be happy because of the truth, always ready to forgive, trust, hope, patience.

The world is sometimes hard and sometimes soft. When we are happy and sad, when we are full of hope, when we are disappointed, we are glad that we always sing a song in our hearts, so that the difficult world will not be forced into our hearts and the weak hearts will not collapse.

5, don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow has tomorrow's troubles. There are enough difficulties in one day.

6. So many things that you thought were going to kill you at that time, so many situations that you thought were going to die, will gradually get better. No matter how slow it is, as long as you are willing to wait, it will become a thing of the past. And those you can't overcome temporarily, those you can't overcome, those you can't stand, those you can't stand, tell yourself that whatever can't kill you will eventually make you stronger.

7. Be tolerant of loneliness, because the key to success is often hidden in the pocket of loneliness.

8. Sometimes, we live very tired, not because life is too mean, but because we are too easily infected by the external atmosphere and influenced by other people's emotions. Walking in the crowd, we always feel that there are countless pairs of eyes sweeping our hearts and lungs, and there are many rumors, which eventually confuse our minds and gradually bind us in a mess we weave. In fact, you live for yourself, and not many people can take you to heart. -white

No matter how hard it rains, there will be a rainbow in the end. No matter how sad you are, believe that happiness is waiting for you ahead.

10, every woman in love should not only strive for the happiness of two people, but also leave a retreat for herself. This retreat is nothing more than keeping yourself awake. Any normal relationship will never have no way out unless you take the initiative to cut it off.

1 1, the best love allows you to constantly improve yourself without losing yourself.

12, life is just a few decades, and it seems that the years are unstoppable. It is a kind of happiness to meet a fireworks show in a reincarnation time. Even if the fireworks finally go out, a smiling face will bloom in the sky after all. In what year can you make a life-changing decision? No one can calculate the time that flies. Live every year, every day, ordinary things support people, and ordinary things are true.

13, don't make noise, don't show off, and don't need others to know. Just be yourself quietly.

14, what we complain about later is often the first love. Things have not changed, the environment has changed, the scenery has not changed, the eyes have changed, others have not changed, and they have changed. Only when we complain, if we can look back and think about why we chose him, love him and appreciate him. If he is still the same as he was then, let's try to see it again with youthful eyes.

15, one of the great advantages of marriage is that when you stop loving, you can still be together until you fall in love again.

16, in fact, life needs very little, a glass of water, a bowl of rice, a sentence I love you. But this glass of water, he hopes that the person who loves him brought it to him, that bowl of rice he hopes that the person who loves him cooked it for him, and the sentence I love you, he hopes that the person who loves him said it to him personally.

17. Be kind to yourself. You don't have to expect to always exchange "hard work" and "sacrifice" for love. You can love yourself first. Love yourself and others, and love will not dry up.

18, try everything, because you never know what kind of things or people will change your life.

19, don't trust memories so much, people in them may not miss you.

20, a person, a city, a lifetime of heartache.

Little dad's classic lines

1, Summer: Why?

Guo Yu: Why are there so many?

Summer: But why?

Guo Yu: If I say no, I won't, because I am your father.

2. Guo Yu: What are you laughing at? Are you stupid?

Summer: What is a fool?

Guo Yu: Simplicity means greatness!

3. Q: Dare to bully my sister? Bullying our family is not a man, is it?

Hui: There are no men in your family, but there are four women, your mother and your sister. Count two yourself.

4. Guo Yu: What is a good man? A good man is humble outside and goes home to make his woman happy.

5. Victory: I really love you. If you don't believe me, you can cut my stomach open with a knife, and then take out my heart, liver, lungs, spleen and kidney and show you a pot of Mao Xuewang.

Xiao Ai: What you said is disgusting.

Sheng Da: Is it disgusting? From the heart, do it yourself.

Xiao Ai: What the hell are you doing?

Sheng Da: I want to marry you.

6, an aunt: Now some girls stay at home and stay outside.

7. This bank card is for you, and the password is your birthday.

Xiao Ai: I just want to tell you that no matter what attitude my parents have, as long as you really marry me, I will have a good life with you.

9, victory: uncles and aunts are worthy of being intellectuals, consciously.

10, Yu Guo: Yes, it's not as good as you.

1 1, victory: I will rush to any loophole that can shoot RMB and resolutely block it.

12, Yuguo: Can I propose a toast to you, a craftsman, without selling anything?

Sheng Da: You are my lamp. I can see the direction when you are here.

14, Xiao Ai: One is called a dream, and the other six are called random thoughts.

15, summer: Guo Yu said that a name is just a symbol, so you can't yell if it doesn't matter.

16, Yuguo: From now on, the sleeping time is yours. As for whether it is necessary to sleep, it depends on whether you can turn my cards.

Guo Yu: Do you know what exhaustion means? It's just a donkey. There is nothing he can do.

18, Sheng Da: This is the climax of my life. Is it a little early?

19, Sheng Da: The word happiness is too superficial. Do you know what it's like to land on the moon? Flying at an altitude of 18 thousand feet, flying into the sky, flying out of the atmosphere, weightless and suspended.

Funny humor: The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood today.

There is moonlight in front of the window, and there are piles of mysteries. Look up calmly, bowed their heads and asked Fiona Fang.

I really want to be a lady in front of you, because you forced me to be a bitch.

I never want to make friends with strangers, because many lies have to be repeated.

My mother said that the love stories in TV series are all lies, and asked me to watch more movies.

If anyone spends Singles Day with me this year, I can let her spend Mother's Day next year.

Today's society has deteriorated, is it necessary to reinstall the system?

Japanese girls are cherry blossom girls, Korean girls are kimchi girls, and China girls are China women.

A man never knows how long his words have been remembered in a woman's mind.

Fiona Fang, what do you think of this matter? Your honor, Fiona Fang is dead. It is very important to burn paper and some small things in front of the grave.

The story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs tells us that seven diaosi are not worth a kiss from a rich and handsome man.

Xiaoming's motto is: there is no second best, just want to be the second best.

Every man has his favorite woman, some like cute, some like sexy, but they all like to wear less clothes in summer.

I want to give my future mother-in-law a bad review. The delivery is too slow, and no one has received it yet.

Look in the eyes during the exam: (_) (_) (_) The teacher is coming: (_)

I checked from Baidu how to get the first place in 100 meter. Baidu told me that your girlfriend was finally molested.

It takes courage to take a bath now, and perseverance to get up.

I accidentally ate a pencil at dinner the day before yesterday, and then I wanted to eat an eraser.

I must study hard now. Children dream of being the boss's wife when they grow up, and I want to be the boss's mother when I grow up.

Suddenly one day, I changed my automatic reply to what happened, and a friend of mine chatted with me all afternoon.

I believe all male compatriots like girls with meat. If they like girls with backbone, it proves that they have become.

Everyone else is holding hands, but I am holding the dog by the hand, taking a walk and taking a look to see who bites people unhappy.

I am persistent, and the only constant in my heart is that I don't want to go to school.

Honey, can you let me be your mobile phone and let you hold me in your hand?

I told my dad that the results of the college entrance examination came out, and my dad asked how the exam went. . . . Dad, your son has been in college for a year, do you know?

Open book and closed book have two different characteristics, one is copying from above and the other is copying from below.

There is a kind of base, boasting about the scar and forgetting the pain. . .

Mr. Summer Holiday, I was wrong. Let's not break up, shall we? Can we start over?

Send your girlfriend home. It's on the road everywhere. . .

They all say that mistress is a bitch, but they forget to weigh whether the man who was taken away really loves you. . .

If I remember you in my next life, I must have died incompletely.

My homework abused me a thousand times. I regard homework as my first love.

A very, very real girl will always be a group of scheming fake women.

Which country in the world has a high divorce rate, Paris, so let's get married there.

On QQ, I seem to be waiting for someone, but I am speechless when I arrive. . .

The more a person turns to the light, the greater the shadow behind him. The greater a person's ability, the greater his responsibility.

The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood today. . .

No, I have no one but you. I just don't want anyone except you. . .

The best state of being a handsome boy is that you don't pick up girls, but girls come to you.

Every time I fall in love, my wife calls me. How many wives do you have?

Women love to wear makeup, and men love to lie. Women wear makeup to deceive men's eyes. Men lie to women.