Father, I want to say to you

With the growth of age, recalling the past will become an irresistible necessity. Some look back, think, and all time-related sighs can only be put on paper and more often written to themselves. After living for half a century and decades of vicissitudes, the society has undergone earth-shaking changes. Things are at your fingertips, life is convenient and fast, and sometimes it feels a little incredible. The happier my life is, the more I feel sorry for my loved ones' past sufferings. When the good times come, you will never see them again. Sometimes I think that if time could go back, they would still be alive now. Who can understand that I haven't spoken for a long time? In fact, I have a lot to say in my heart, and I want to say it to my bad father most.

It has been thirty years since my father left me, so long that I can only vaguely remember his face in my dreams. I seldom write about my father, and I don't necessarily love him very much. It's just that his short life is too bitter, and I'm afraid I'm sad. I trudged for a long time in a lonely world to seal up that unforgettable pain. Now I want to write down a lot of things I want to say to him. If there is a connection between heaven and earth, the pain of the rest of my life may be alleviated.

I don't remember whether my father loves me or not. In my childhood after 1970, even if adults love me, most families probably won't get a candy. But I clearly remember my father hitting me once, only this time, maybe just kicking my ass a few times. It used to be my biggest headache to celebrate the New Year. Most of my father's closest relatives are in jinshuigou. After crossing jinshuigou, I have to walk more than ten miles, which is deep and steep. For me at that time, it was really miserable. I didn't want to go at first, but I was beaten, probably because it didn't hurt too much, or I didn't go. My loving grandmother quietly pulled me aside and said, "My baby, listen! Otherwise, I can still beat you when I come back. " Hearing this, I was really a little burdened, so I rushed to catch up with my father who had gone far away. Now there are three bridges flying over Jinshuigou, and it is as convenient for people from the west of the ditch to go to the county seat as it is to cross the gate, and it takes ten minutes to get there. My grandmother married from Goudong to Gouxi, which was inconvenient all her life. She walked with little feet for dozens of years, and then watched me marry the daughter-in-law of Gou Dongjia. The Jinshuigou Bridge invested by the state has ended all communication inconveniences. If my father can know these great changes and that I will visit his relatives as always, will he regret hitting his sensible son for the first time in his life? I think he will be reluctant.

Our village is a famous water shortage area in Heyang County. Although it sounds indecent, Qin Cheng he jia zhuang's saying that Ma niao soaks steamed bread, water is precious. Generations of villagers have lived on rainwater, and they have to go to other places to buy water to eat in the drought year. Washing a face is a family carrying a washbasin of water, and they are reluctant to throw it out after washing. They also plan to water the flowers at night or come back from the fields to wash their feet, and the livestock will go to the waterlogged pool at the east end of the village to drink water. Fortunately for the neighboring village, there is a well in every alley in our village, which is more than forty feet deep. Heavy wooden pulleys and well ropes cannot be operated by one or two people. It takes at least two or three families to cooperate in wringing water, just like our family doesn't have strong labor, so we won't join in the fun easily. Clear and dark well water is packed in a shaking bucket, and the throat is full of sweetness at a glance. At that time, my biggest dream was to grow up early, have the strength to move the well pulley, and stop begging for water. Later, a small well was drilled at the western end of the village. My sick father can't carry a load of water by himself. I often help when I am sensible, and my father and son take turns carrying water home. At that time, I was about thirteen or fourteen years old and short. I had to hang the chain on the water bearer to the shortest place, and stood on tiptoe to carry the bucket before I barely left the ground. I grew up day by day in such strength. By the turn of the century, the National Huimin Project had drilled a deep well for village investment, which was enough to supply domestic water for seven or eight nearby villages, and also connected the water to the kitchen stove of every household's room. As long as the tap is on, the sparkling tap water will overflow the tank. Things that these relatives never dreamed of when they were alive have come true, and the bright pole that was once rubbed by hand has long since disappeared. I can't forget the days when I was miserable for drinking water. My father no longer has to endure the bitterness and helplessness of watching me carry water with tears in my eyes.

My father's illness for many years consumed all the income in the family. As far as I can remember, I used to run on the way to buy medicine when I was a teenager. Later, when I died suddenly, it happened to be my college entrance examination. When my elder sister took the senior high school entrance examination, both children lost their studies. For a time, I regretted how I was born in such an unfortunate family. That kind of inferiority is deeply branded in my heart, and I even have some resentment. The night my father was seriously ill, I talked with him all night. My inarticulate father gave me a family burden and said with tears that he was sorry for me. I am proud and smart, and I burst into tears in an instant. It turns out that my father understands me. He knows my mood and ambition and how affectionate and helpless I am when I say I'm sorry. In an instant, I realized the deep fatherly love hidden behind me during my eighteen years of growth. Alas, God abruptly took away my talent and possession, which I can't repay in my life. Today, with the development of society, my son had an egg and milk project when he was in primary school. Children of poor households can get help and subsidies from the state when they go to school, and they can also enjoy student loans when they go to college. Children of the poor no longer have to drop out of school because they can't afford tuition. What is more gratifying is that farmers have medical insurance subsidies for medical treatment and long-term medical subsidies for chronic diseases. Father is still alive. Think about how good it would be. So many valuable things at home don't need to be sold one by one, and minor ailments that are not fatal will not be dragged into incurable diseases. Of course, your children will naturally have a better life, just like your three grandchildren about the same age are now in the university campus. These are the things I want to tell you most. The night your grandson received the admission notice, I cried at your grave. Of course, children can't understand this feeling that has accumulated in my heart for a long time. You will understand my voice in heaven.

The days of suffering are finally gone forever. I want to tell my father that my son doesn't have to farm so hard anymore. Now farmers don't have to pay public grain for farming, and the state has subsidies for growing grain every year. Sometimes, I can build several houses with the money from working for a year. I don't have to take a ladder with you to tear down the old Hu Ji on the wall of the production team, and I don't have to pick up bricks discarded by others in the garbage. I don't have to work hard to build a simple house with mud. Everything is not that difficult! I remember once I used to apply medicine to crops, and the old iron sprayer leaked everywhere. As a result, you were poisoned by some drugs at night and your limbs were swollen. My grandfather built a mule cart, and the family rushed across the ditch to take you to a big hospital. It was almost dawn when I came back, but fortunately, people were fine. A few days ago, I saw that the control of wheat stripe rust in the village was sprayed by drones, which was accurate, safe and fast. Thought of here, I can't help feeling sad. There are many changes in my life at present, and I can't tell you one by one. If you can still live like your peers, feel the kindness of the country to the working people, feel all the changes brought by the policy of benefiting the people to the countryside and farmers, see today's beautiful garden-like homes and witness the happiness and happiness of children, you may admire what a happy era we are fortunate to live in. Here, all the suffering was worth it!

Sad things can be solved by themselves, just like my son, he can survive all the setbacks by himself. To fully understand the taste of happiness, someone must share it, especially with happiness. It is a pity to have no happiness shared by relatives. Now, I can only talk to my father a lot in this way, whether it's trivial or nagging, and it doesn't matter if I don't get what I want. I only hope that there is a spirit in the world, that the father can know the voice of the unfilial son, and that there is no need to worry about the child's life now, and the happy days will surely get better and better!

Together with my deep thoughts, I thank my father for giving me life and teaching me to live hard.

He Wu Jun June 02 1 18.