A love letter

good evening! I am glad to write this letter to you.

I haven't called your name since I've known you for so long. Now I finally have a chance to call you. "Ann", I like this name-Xin Ding. Of course, I don't know if the real meaning of the name is this. I just understand it in my favorite direction. Please forgive me if I don't understand it correctly. I like your appearance, too. There is no Mediterranean, no acne and pimples on your face, and your eyes like it best. You are very attentive and affectionate when you look at people! It's just that my figure is not very good, and I have a little belly, otherwise it would be more perfect.

My family is in a special situation. My parents have a bad relationship. Since I was in primary school, I have always complained and blamed each other, which annoys them. In addition, the marriages I come into contact with don't seem to be very happy, so I am afraid of marriage, and I always feel that it is a terrible thing to go to a strange home to live. The marriage that I yearn for is the kind that helps each other and supports each other. Maybe life will erase my passion, but I can still feel peace of mind when I smile at each other. There is a kind of: "Well, it's you!" I can't get tired of seeing each other.

When I was a child, my life was very happy and carefree. At that time, some people in the village joked that I was an "emperor's daughter", which meant that my parents would try their best to satisfy me as much as they could, just like the emperor loves his daughter on TV. I was really happy at that time, but now I think of it as silly. I don't have to study or work. I run around the village, fields and hills like the wind every day, following a large group of children, picking "chestnut bubbles", picking barnyard grass, catching small fish, digging "sour roads", and thinking of those delicious foods makes my mouth water. At that time, I was very courageous. There was a snake named "cauliflower snake", and I often caught small ones to play with, which was about the size of earthworms, but the skin was a little hard, which was quite fun. When I was a child, my family was poor. My father used to catch snakes and cook snake meat. Now it is rare. Snake meat is the dish of the rich. Speaking of which, when I grew up, I caught a snake with my bare hands. It was a kind of "yellow belly boy". I held it down with a bamboo pole with my sister and brother-in-law, but they were afraid to catch it. I caught it directly with my specialty. It was quite big and sold dozens of pieces.

I was a master in elementary school. Before writing in the third grade, I almost got double marks. If I have a composition, I will lose some points, and occasionally I don't get full marks in reading comprehension. At that time, we didn't have English in primary school. I usually got a score of 195 or above in Chinese and mathematics. Moreover, I often participate in competitions such as "Hua Luogeng" and "Olympic Mathematics", and my general results are actually good. After the third grade, I started reading novels. At that time, Gu Long was my favorite. At night, I secretly read it with a flashlight under the covers. There was also a Wu Ji who wrote a series of legends, such as "Legend of Martial Arts" and "Legend of Jianghu". I asked people to borrow them every day. The saddest thing is that I don't know the author's name, and I can't read them now. Haha. And Liang Yusheng, Jin Yong also basically read, Longsheng Wo, Zhuge Qingyun read a few books, but don't like Huang Yi, I don't know why. At that time, I seldom studied, and all the time I could spare was used to read novels. When I was older, I began to read romance novels, which were Taiwan Province's romantic essays, so I was a well-deserved schoolmaster at that time. Of course, there were few knowledge points in primary schools. And when I was in primary school, I was very fierce, and those male students were afraid of me.

junior high school is still a bully, although there are many more subjects at once. I studied in Gangmei No.2 Middle School in the first semester of junior high school. Because I was close to my sister's home, I transferred to Gangmei No.1 Middle School in the second semester, which is Gangmei Middle School. I remember that when I first transferred to another school, the vice monitor in my class, who was also the daughter of a math teacher, came to tell me on her own initiative, asking her if she didn't understand anything, telling me not to be shy or something, and asking more students if I couldn't keep up with it in my studies. Then I got the first place in the mid-term exam of that semester, which startled her and made her laugh. The man who won the first place in the first semester in the class next door came to our class to watch me and gave me an afternoon challenge. Unfortunately, since then, he has no chance to rank above me. When I was in junior high school, I was even lazier. I read novels not only after class, but also secretly during class. I often read a book on my desk and a book under my desk. I also read it without taking a nap at noon and peeked at night. It's really shameful to think of it. I'm too ignorant, although my grades are so good. However, by the third grade, my grades began to decline, from the first in the whole school (yes, the whole school, because at that time many teachers thought that my grades were the best in the three grades of the whole school, and the total score was the first in the grade at that time) to the third or even fourth in the whole class. Chinese teachers and English teachers, especially Chinese teachers, were very guilty, thinking that his teaching method was not suitable for me, which led to the decline of my Chinese grades, but it was not. It seems that I just got the third place in the senior high school entrance examination. First, a classmate who is very close to me got it, which seems to be more than 4 points more than me. Shame, the teacher still expects me to break the record!

High school is even worse. I fell from the top 5 students to more than 3 students in the college entrance examination. I'm embarrassed to say more. I'm ashamed to see anyone. At that time, my English was poor, and I didn't do well in the college entrance examination. At that time, the college entrance examination was still a standard score, which was different from now. It was actually my own problem. I was too lazy, and I couldn't help myself to die. My English was not good in college, and I didn't even pass CET-4. What a pity. What's more, I failed the high school math in my freshman year! ! ! My heart is broken, and now I feel ashamed to meet the primary school math teacher! I passed with high marks in the first semester, but I failed in the second semester! ! ! It's all lazy. I hang reading novels and playing games every day. It's sad. At that time, I was quite afraid that I wouldn't get my degree when I graduated. Fortunately, I passed the make-up exam once, and my hands-on ability was good. My general scores in experimental classes were ok. Thank God!

I like eating since I was a child. When I was a child, I looked for food everywhere, such as baked sweet potatoes in the kiln, baked beans in bamboo tubes, grilled fish, baked eggs, and roasted birds ... I did everything, and I found whatever was delicious. It's still the same when I'm older. I can't refuse delicious food, so I'm easy to please, as long as there's something delicious. My cooking is also good, my hands-on ability is quite strong, and I can innovate, so my body shape is helpless. I always have to sacrifice a little for good food.

I still like to play. When I read martial arts novels, I thought about learning from other heroes' martial arts, especially those who fly on the grass and float on the water. I was envious. I always thought about what I would do if I learned it one day. I followed like-minded children to find some high ridges, and then I found a place to jump. In the process of falling, I thought it was like this.

The more books I read later, the more I liked. In high school, I liked reading China National Geographic magazine very much. I yearned for it. Those who "explored caves", "climbed high cliffs" and "survived in the wild" were simply tickling. After reading Guan Xianglin's Lonely Walking, I like his Cherokee very much, and I like the feeling of walking around by one person and one car. I remember that he did the final design of web design in my freshman year, and he carefully searched for information and pictures, trying to make the desired effect, but unfortunately I couldn't find the design work later. I also like history, the ancient history of China, and I also read a lot of historical biographies in high school. At that time, I volunteered to study history or geology, and I also wanted to study agriculture and mulberry. Unfortunately, my dad scolded me badly. Now that I think about it, in fact, those majors are good, which wastes such a scholar!

The more you talk about it, the more serious it is. Well, let's talk about love. As mentioned above, I like your appearance, especially your eyes. When you are stared at by those eyes, your heart beats faster. I feel a little bit like that when I think about it. And the sound, I like it, too. It's a little magnetic. It's nice. I like kissing, too. It's a little overbearing. It's quite good. It should be easy to get drunk. You smell very clean, which is my favorite. I generally hate the unclean smell of other people's bodies, not the smell of sweat or car oil, but a feeling, a clean feeling, which gives me a comprehensive clean smell. I don't know how to describe it, so it's a special feeling. You give me a clean, comfortable feeling, no disgust, and I like it very much.

One morning at work, when I passed the traffic light in front of the company building, I vaguely saw your license plate number, but I was embarrassed to confirm it, and I didn't remember the license plate number very well. I was a little nervous at that time, and I almost crossed the road with my hands and feet. But it shouldn't be you. You usually go to work by motorcycle, right? I felt a little regretful when I sent WeChat that night to show that you had blacked me out. I shouldn't be so melodramatic. It's good to keep it. I can still pay attention to you. I can chat with you when I can't help it occasionally. You always don't reply to me. Why do you want to delete it? Unfortunately, there has always been no regret medicine in the world. I want to tell you many times, since you don't have anyone to marry and I don't, why can't you accept me and try with me? It's a pity that I dare not ask, maybe it's self-esteem or inferiority! At first, I thought you turned me down because you were still thinking about your ex-girlfriend, and I specially asked Alin, but he said that you had broken up with your ex-girlfriend for 1 years, and you have never dated during this period, and you are a little uncertain. I don't know if you are waiting for your ex-girlfriend or are used to being alone. A person is imagining things, and his brain has made up a lot. After a while, he thinks that there is definitely no chance, so be it. Anyway, he is used to being alone. I was thinking later, maybe you are just like me, a little inferior and uncertain, afraid to start a relationship. As long as I wait patiently, you will definitely come to me. Then do some stupid things, such as harassing you with text messages, writing to you, repeatedly adding your WeChat, paying attention to your WeChat movement steps, and posting a lot of friends who are only visible to you, and then you didn't respond, but silently deleted it. I don't know whether I like it or not, but I always think of you during that time. Of course, this was all before.

In fact, I really don't understand these things about love, although I have read many romantic novels. I liked a boy in the fourth and fifth grade of primary school. At that time, my family just suffered great changes, and my mood was extremely low, which lasted until junior high school. I thought about suicide several times, but I didn't dare or want to give up. At that time, ambiguity was popular among students, and quite a few female students liked that boy. I wrote him love letters, dozens of them, and love poems. My literary skills have begun to show in primary school. I went to school early in the morning, and then waited for him at the school gate in the teaching building, hoping to be the first to see him enter the school gate. It was also silly, but it was all based on emotion and ceremony. Of course, it's too small to do anything. Later, he wrote back to me, saying that he was still young and should consider studying rather than love. He refused me, and I cried a lot, and then I got back all the love letters and poems I wrote to him. When I cooked at night, I stuffed them all in the stove, haha. When I graduated from primary school, he also gave me a copy book. At that time, it was popular to copy lyrics, basically one for everyone. In that book, he personally copied 99 songs, all of which were popular songs at that time, and many love songs, which moved me to death, so that I still remembered him until I graduated from college, which directly led me not to take a drag. But unfortunately, he dropped out of high school and went out to work. I got married when I was a freshman or a sophomore, and I cried when I heard the news of his marriage. At that time, I thought it was a little spoony, although I didn't know if it was love.

I thought about finding a good job for the first two years after graduation, but I didn't think about it. Later, I got a stable job in Yangxi, and someone at home introduced me to a blind date. The man came to my house on New Year's Day for a blind date, which was quite tall, almost 1.8 meters. I thought I was short and didn't deserve him, and then there was no more. Later, a colleague from Yangxi introduced a local guy from Yangxi. I guess he felt good about me, but I didn't like him at first impression. He was too thin, but he seemed to like me. After I refused, I tried to contact me several times, and I deleted his contact information and added it back. At that time, I thought I was so old, and I never met someone I liked. He felt good about me. I told myself from an early age that those who love me and those I love must give priority to those who love me, so I decided to have a serious contact with him and give it a try, but unfortunately I still couldn't pass the test in my heart. In the meantime, the man who is 1.8 meters contacted me again and said that he still wanted to try with me, but I refused.

Later, in 215, the man in Yangxi came to me for the third time, but it wasn't really him, because he didn't delete WeChat and QQ that time, and occasionally contacted me, and he usually liked or commented on something in the space. He said that he still liked me and wanted me to give him a chance, and I agreed. But in the next few days, he often calls, calls during work hours, and has WeChat messages, and he has to come to me in the past. At that time, he was in Huizhou and I was in Guangzhou. I disagreed, saying that I didn't have time to entertain him. He said that he had time, and he could cook and wash clothes for me. Moreover, he told his family that he would marry me soon. I felt very annoyed and was scared by him. Within two weeks, I never met him, so I resolutely refused him. When I told him, he also said that I cheated him and told me not to do this in the future. I didn't know how to reply to him, but at that time, I thought I was right, so I explained that I just agreed to try to start dating with you, not to marry you. You told your family from the beginning that I was under great pressure. Now that I think about it, I really didn't do well. If I don't like it, I shouldn't accept it. My fault! I'm sorry I didn't apologize to others at that time, and I forgot whether it was before or after that, and contacted me again, saying that he still thought I was good. During that time, he went to Guangzhou to see me once, and I went to Zhuhai to see him once. I just went to the park and visited the scenic spots without even holding my hand. WeChat or QQ will contact me once or twice a month. Later, I think he should not like me, but I just think my conditions are ok.

There is another one that I almost forgot. At the beginning of 214, when I was still preparing to go out to Guangzhou to find a job, the blind date introduced by my relatives talked for an hour or two every night before we met. After meeting, it cooled down, but it was still relatively active. It's just that he likes night pu, and he plays in bars almost every night until late at night or even all night. I don't like it, so I refused. Later, I came to see me, in 216, and talked for a while. In the Spring Festival of 217, when I went home for the New Year, I made a movie appointment with my two classmates. Later, I still felt inappropriate.