Tell me about the photos of my sister and young master.

1, I can't believe this is our ambiguous topic, and you told a third person.

2. Now boys are too bad, whiter, taller and more beautiful than girls.

Love him from a distance, and he will never leave you.

4, it is too easy to take care of yourself at the beginning of crossing.

You said that whoever betrays first will die naturally. I want to know why God hasn't taken you away after so long.

6. Being single is very painful. Being single for a long time is more painful. I saw a sow the other day and thought it was beautiful.

7. Loving ourselves will only make us lonelier, and loving others will make us happier.

8. Honey, I miss you again. I really miss you. I didn't cry this time, but my face was full of tears.

9. Running hard and exercising restraint is also a way of life.

10, did you treat dichlorvos as cola and drink it to the end at 80 cents and 12 Jin?

1 1, men having an affair is reflected in their busy work; Women's affairs are reflected in the fact that the dishes they cook are getting salty.

12, if I can't make you fall in love with me, then I will ruin you.

13, even without the beauty of the United States, we must have the pride of destroying a city.

14. There are always many people stabbing in the back.

15. [You have a scene and I have my story. It's not very hard, but don't touch it]

16, idiot, I told you, you sleep late every day just to wait for your good night?

17, Dong Fangbubai's love for Ling Huchong is a kind of love. Ling Huchong is a fool not to love Dong Fangbubai.

18, sometimes I feel so distressed that I can't breathe. I still have to pretend to be cheerful and indifferent.

19 for example, I put a lock on my life, but I can't find the key myself.

20. If anyone is sincere to me, I will cherish my life.

Loving you is my business, not yours.

1, when your indifference exceeds the load that my heart can bear, then I will give my heart to you and go.

What I hate is not mistress, but a little beggar who can't stand the temptation of mistress.

3. Why are you wearing briefs? Because it saves money and cloth!

4. Stop jumping! ! Dude, I didn't mean to explode you! ! !

5, adults always say, don't talk to me about money, talking about money hurts feelings. I just want to say, don't talk to me about starting school. Talking about hurting feelings when school starts.

6, chess and calligraphy can not, laundry and cooking are too tired.

7. How many times have I told you that my tears are coming out? When I see my weakness, I will die.

8. So far, among the curses I have seen about Tanabata, this is the most vicious: curse the weaver girl to menstruate on Tanabata!

9. In the morning, my mother listened to your backpack and told me that Eason Chan was a terrible person. He borrowed something and refused to return it. He even annoys others by singing.

10, there are always people who care for each other for 20 years, but they lose to a natural or enchanting face.

1 1. Principal, your son hasn't finished his homework yet. Can you postpone the start date?

12, school begins, and the waist is not sour; The leg doesn't hurt anymore; Even my heart stopped beating ~

13, Ban, have a bowl of mala Tang, not spicy, and don't burn your fucking bowl.

The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

15, loving you is my business, not yours.

16, you have a face panic, how dare I have the cheek not to believe-/Shuo/

17, don't hate men all over the world for one man.

18, when I was a child, the watch I drew on my hand did not move but took away our best time.

19, my mother doesn't have to worry about my study anymore. She won't light anywhere with a lighter.

20. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship!

2 1, lying for the first time in life usually begins with writing a composition.

22. I will try to save money and buy an ATM.

23. Since I fell in love, my waist has stopped hurting, my head has stopped hurting and my heart has stopped beating.

24. The worst feeling in the world is having to doubt what you used to believe.

25. anonymous diaosi signature: hunger and thirst focus on the position of cucumber.

26. Looking back on the way to school, wow ... how shabby.

27. For me. Writing a composition is to make up lies and bring draft paper.

28, your happy gesture, please don't show off in front of me, I will go crazy ~

29. The happiest thing in life is to hear my wife say take your paws away in the morning!

30. Half the world is laughing at the other half, but the whole world is a fool.

3 1, don't bully me. I will summon Balala, the god of energy and darkness, Gunara, as well as electric energy and positive energy to destroy your hum.

32. Success in life lies not in getting a good deck of cards, but in how to play the bad ones well.

33. Suicide, let's talk about it later.

34. Get up earlier than chickens, go to bed later than cats, and earn less hair than baldies.

35. There is not a cloud in the air, there is no sun overhead, there is no wind, and all the trees are standing there listlessly and lazily.

I laughed my head off, big sister. Why did you throw money into my eight-treasure porridge?

Lead: I saw a gold pendant in Taobao this morning. I like it very much. The baby asked me, "Ma Ma, do you like it very much?" I want to buy it for you. "I said," the money is all for you to buy toys, and dad has no money. " "Well, that I grow up to earn money to buy for you. "This makes me very moved. Who knows, baby went on, "but you have to buy it at a discount." Generally speaking, this beautiful thing will not be discounted. "

1. When I was a child, I slept with my best friend. He likes to touch my ear to sleep. I slept with my wife last night and suddenly thought of him. I touched my daughter-in-law's ear, and she actually said, "Why do you sleep like someone?" I actually smiled and said, "He hasn't changed for so many years!" Sleep peacefully. I have been looking for a marriage certificate since this morning.

2. After a singer finished singing, Wang Feng turned and said, Come on, tell me about your dream. I am so excited. I want to tell my goddess loudly that I love you and I want to give you a lifetime of happiness! Na Ying: Well done. Say her name. A: Zhang Ziyi, I love you!

3. The teacher said on the stage, "Students, shall we play idioms solitaire? I said the first two words and you answered the last two words. " I almost peed when I heard it. This is my buddy's strong point. I only heard the teacher say, "Children's words are beyond bounds ..." It was so simple that I jumped up without thinking and replied, "Big breasts!" ..... Now I'm standing at the door and being baked by the sun.

I remember when I was a child, I went to the river to take a bath. A small partner suddenly stopped moving and tightened. But I was so scared that I thought I had a cramp, and that idiot yelled at me. Come on, come on, I want to catch a fish with my legs.

Now there are directors, actors, prostitutes Guo Meimei, Zhang Guoli's son Zhang Mo, singer Li and screenwriter Caishen Ning in the prison, so we can make a TV series and a movie. The TV series is called those days when we used drugs and went whoring together. The film is called Tears in Prison, written by Caishen Ning, directed by, starring, male No.2: Zhang Mo, and female No.1: Guo Meimei and Li.

6. A few days ago, the variant design team came to me and said that a rich second-generation young master in Hong Kong wanted to exchange his life with me for a month. I immediately refused, on the grounds that the rich second generation experienced my hard life and could repent after returning. I went to experience how the young master faced the day when his face turned yellow. The column group was speechless and left silently.

7. When the pig was reborn, the prince asked, "Be a fairy?" Pig: "Boring!" Rebecca: "Be a man? "Pig:" Too tired! Rebecca: "Be a demon? "Pig:" Too bad! Rebecca: "Then what?" "Pig:" You can eat and drink, spend money and pick up girls! "The king of hell was furious:" Are you going to be a college student? "

8. One day, Bao Zheng said to Gongsun Ce, "Thanks to you, I can solve the case so skillfully." Gongsun Ce said, "Thank you for your compliment, hehe!" Bao Zheng replied, "Get to the point! Don't call me by my nickname! "

9. When I went to the park today, I saw a beggar on the roadside. In front of him, there is an eight-treasure porridge jar. He resolutely took out 3 yuan coins from his wallet and threw them into the jar. When he was about to leave, the man said, "Sister, why did you throw money into my eight-treasure porridge?"

10, "Master, I have been caring for her, caring for her and loving her for ten years. Why did she leave me so cruelly? " Master: "That's because ten years is worse than one day!" " "

1 1, my wife is very sleepy and has to be urged to get up every day. She was urged three times today, but she still couldn't get up. Finally, I got angry: "If you can't make money in bed, don't lie in bed!" " As a result, she replied to me: "I will start charging tomorrow!"

12, I am single in suspension spring. On Sunday, my parents came to see me in the house I rented. When I came back from shopping, my dormitory had been cleaned up by two old people. My mother looked at my wardrobe and said to me earnestly: Be sure to pay attention to supplementing nutrition! I believe they should have met my girlfriend …

13, I remember that there was a time when Kongming lanterns were popular in our square. I saw a couple buy a half-heart-shaped Kongming lantern and light it together. What a beautiful picture! Suddenly, with a sigh, a celestial cannon jumped between two hearts and saw a diaosi with his hands in his pockets, snorted and left. Ha, the landlord was squatting on the ground and laughing. ! !

14, I saw a news today. The news reports that a 6-year-old girl in the United States has an IQ as high as 160, but her parents' IQ is not too high, and her neighbor is a university math teacher. I feel that this little girl has a story …

15, I heard that the company is going to lay off employees. I quickly bought two boxes of China gifts for my leader. He was very angry: "You might as well concentrate on your work if you have this leisure time." Then two boxes of toothpaste fell in front of me.

16, it's nice to marry a daughter-in-law, so don't worry about the accounts. No way, the balance on the salary card has just become 0.29 yuan! Now that the technology is convenient, there is no need to hand it in voluntarily, and the mobile banking is gone at all …

17, menstruation visited my home. I called the male ticket and said that my relatives had come home to buy things. He pushed the door and took out a pack of menstrual towels from his bag without saying anything: "I am naughty, I am naughty, praise me!" " I'll never forget the way my aunt looked at him!

18 I think that in order to narrow the gap between the rich and the poor of our people, we should vigorously develop education. Because there are still many people who have not received higher education. Imagine if everyone graduated from undergraduate course, wouldn't everyone be equally poor?

19, one day, Wukong and his master went out to play. Master was happy to come back, but Wukong was helpless. The next day, the master invited Wukong to go out to play, but Wukong refused. The master said, you are Po Hou. Do you want to cast a spell on the teacher? Wukong cried, "Damn it, every time I go out to play without money, you fucking make money by playing with monkeys." I've had enough. "

20. Actually, there is a reason why I am so outspoken now. When I was a child, my father took me out for a walk, and the back of my trousers was torn open. I kept silent all the way until his trouser pockets were cold when he walked ... I will never forget the photos of my father talking with me about life in the sunset. ...

2 1. In the history class, the teacher talked about Dayu's water control and asked, "Why didn't Dayu enter the house three times?" A boy in the back row replied, "There must be someone outside." Suddenly, the whole class burst into laughter.

22. Magic Pen Ma Liang took out his pen, drew a dot on the wall, drew three arcs above the dot, then took out his mobile phone and connected to WIFI.

23. Good people are really rewarded. For example, a girl lost her money on the crowded subway this morning, and I told her in time after seeing it. Sure enough, I took her seat when she picked up the money.

24. Conductor: Go ahead and help me turn on the air conditioner! Go and sell ice cream! Half an hour later, C: The ice cream was sold out! Go ahead and help me turn down the air conditioner! Go and sell instant noodles. ...

25. In the morning, before I woke up, my girlfriend was busy in the kitchen. The smells of apples, eggs, chicken soup, milk, pancakes and all kinds of delicious food came to my face, and I felt a sense of happiness. When I woke up and walked into the kitchen, my girlfriend had eaten all these, and no one was left! Leave a note for me to brush the pot and dishes!

26. My boyfriend often plays games and ignores me. Today, I bought a wireless mouse and sneaked it into the back of my computer. I occasionally move when he is playing at night. Later, he smashed the computer.

27. When I was a child, I went to someone's house with a group of friends to steal cucumbers. They all ran away after stealing, and I was still eating on the ground. Later, I was caught. People ask me why I stole cucumbers. I said the cucumber pedicle is still on the seedling. You'd think it was eaten by a pig.

28. When my son was in a hurry to poop, he said to his mother, "Mom, I want to poop. Where is it? " Mother said to pull it next to the duck, and soon the son came back crying and said, "Mom, the duck keeps running."

29. We usually have a lot of pressure in life. We surf the Internet just to relax, and we don't want the Internet to bring us any tension. Therefore, I beg those students who are unfamiliar at school and haven't contacted for several years, don't suddenly pop up a sentence "Are you there" on QQ!

30. Walking in the street, I saw a stack of hundred-dollar bills on the ground. I fainted with excitement. When I woke up, I saw that the money was still there, and I fainted with excitement.

Editor's note: On my first day at the zoo, my master let me get in touch with the tiger at zero distance. I was really scared, so I secretly drank a bottle of wine to cheer myself up, but the master found out. He was very angry and said that I had neglected my duty and asked me not to give the tiger a drink next time.

Grandpa Mao can shine, don't you think?

1. No matter how hot it is at night, I will cover myself with a quilt. Maybe it will make me feel safe.

Only you know whether it hurts or not, and only you know whether it has changed or not. Don't ask me how I am, I can only say that I am still alive.

3. The hoarse voice can't sing your freshness.

No matter how I weave a bright future, I can't resist the pull of reality again and again.

No matter how you cried last night, when you woke up in the morning, the city was still busy.

6. Because of injury, it is called youth.

7. In that January, I shook all the prayer tubes, not to cross, but to touch your fingertips;

There are only two things I can't do in my life, neither this nor that.

9. Blame me me for my ignorance. I didn't know there was someone in your heart.

10, I love you, and I'm sorry for that. What if it is really a passerby and hurts me? Maybe I'll feel better.

1 1, walking alone in the street, blowing a cool breeze. If only I could do this all my life.

12, even though there are many people around, I still feel very lonely.

13, don't cut me all the time, but wipe my blood and apply medicine. I can't stand it.

14, you are my favorite person who doesn't blink, and I am the one who can give up without looking up.

15 Grandpa Mao will shine, don't you think?

16, there is a saying that I will be your bride.

17, learn to be yourself and gracefully let go of everything that doesn't belong to you.

18, we can go back in time, but we can't go back to the beginning. Some things last a lifetime.

19, I am my own lover, and I will love myself very much.

20. The night without you is so cold and long that I dare not think about it again.

2 1, happiness, happiness is what we should have at this age.

I think I should let go of your hand gently, but I have no strength to do so.

23, waiting for a result without a deadline, just to see their own sadness.

24. Say I've changed. No, you just saw me more truly.

I don't need a perfect love, I just need someone who will never give up on me. //*

26. My sister was so happy that her mouth opened like a blooming lotus flower that she couldn't close it for a long time.

27, don't pursue appearance, it will deceive people; Don't pursue wealth, wealth will disappear; Pursue someone who can make you smile! Because a smile will make your gloomy day suddenly bright and sunny!

28. 【 Talk about me behind my back and wish you a sudden death.

29. Be less self-righteous and more self-aware in the future.

Even if I am alone, I am not afraid.

3 1, I'm not beautiful, I don't want much.

32, color is empty, empty is color, I am not color, but empty.

Always face the sun, so you can't see the shadow.