Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Say in a humorous tone: be strong, at least you still recruit mosquitoes.

Say in a humorous tone: be strong, at least you still recruit mosquitoes.

1, the bottle full of stones can still hold water, but the bottle full of water can't hold another stone, which shows that you can't drink drinks first when you eat buffet.

2. Go to bed early and don't stay up late to play with your mobile phone, which is not good for your mobile phone.

3, be strong, at least you still like mosquitoes.

4. A person suddenly contacts you. Normally, he is looking for a spare tire; It's normal to suddenly stop contacting you. You are just a spare tire. I contacted you again one day, which is quite normal. You are a good spare tire. Then I stopped contacting you. It's still normal. There is a better spare tire than you.

All the bad emotions come from exams, gaining weight, being short of money and having no partner.

You don't have to come across the ocean to see me, just give me your half-year savings.

I never know where my money has gone. In fact, I didn't buy anything, didn't eat anything, and the money was gone.

9. He said he wouldn't let you suffer a little injustice, but he didn't break his word and made you suffer a lot.

10, in this season, girls are prone to three diseases: the disease of "thinking that all the clothes they bought last year are ugly", the disease of "thinking that there is always a dress missing in their closet" and the disease of "thinking that they came naked last year".

Not keeping in touch with your ex is the minimum respect for you now.

1, from the moment you have the heart to hurt me. I know how I feel. You certainly haven't thought about it.

2. after breaking up, I said that I would continue to be friends just to find a step. People who really love can't be friends.

The more you try to please, the less it belongs to you.

I refused you because you don't know respect.

5. Better to marry well than to do well? Bullshit. I will say, as long as I love, I will buy my own bread.

6. Not keeping in touch with your predecessor is the minimum respect for your current position.

7. It is important to find someone who knows you well.

I don't want to pass by your world, because you are my world.

9. People who really love you won't make your life too bad.

10, love without ceremony will not last long. I don't need "every day is Valentine's Day", I just need you to snack for me once in my long life.

1 1. The person who can influence your mood must be your favorite person. The person who can't bear to part with your sadness must be the one who loves you the most.

12, it is never easy to be together, and it is never easy to break up. Finally, love became unwilling, deep love became sadness, missing became upset, and taking the initiative became a bitch.

13, time and time, can you slow down? He hasn't found my lost contact information yet. I haven't seen you for half my life. Do you also have a man in your heart who surprises time?

14, love can be without money, but marriage can't. Be modest and try to fulfill your promise-this is the man worthy of this girl's love, with backbone and responsibility.

Talking about lies: A smile is as basic as a lie.

1. Lies are just games full of deception.

2. People who can promise you are weavers of lies.

3. School is about to start. If you have a crush on someone else, you can wear a couple costume with the lie of school uniform.

I know all your lies, but I'd rather play dumb.

My scar is not worth her lies.

Don't say that friendship lasts forever, love lasts forever, and time will prove your lies and sincerity.

7. Make up a lie for yourself to fall asleep every night.

8. Wear sunglasses when the sun is dazzling. Sunglasses are like lies. I try to become the sun.

I know it's just a lie that you say you love me, but I'm willing to be cheated by you.

10, I keep everything you said in my heart, even though I knew the lies at that time.

1 1, sometimes lies spread all your life,

12, more promises, yes, that's justice. No amount of promises can be made, and they are all lies.

13, love is like a carefully designed lie. Some people say it, others believe it. Some people have always said that some people have always believed.

14,-The longer time goes by, the more I can't tell what is a lie and what is the truth.

15, never giving up is a lie.

16, forgive all lies and welcome the first snow.

17 Besides the third party, the most unbearable thing in love is lies.

18, even the best things belong to others, and even the most beautiful lies are deceptive.

19, I will never believe the sentence' Let bygones be bygones and start over' again. I can no longer bear the burden of lying, because I have been living in gentle disillusionment. When I was with you before, I couldn't fool you or myself. Even now, I can't lie to you I wish I could continue to care about your future, but I can't.

20. A man should always have a favorite person in his heart like Lv Ziqiao. Even a stupid lie can deceive a girl's heart.

Teach you 29 tricks to make people around you like you more.

1. Always remember: looks are not annoying, and only those who are stupid, hypocritical, rude, arrogant, boastful and idle are the most disgusting.

2. temperament is the key. If you can't learn fashion, you'd rather be simple.

3. When shaking hands with people, you can shake hands for a while. He will appreciate your sincerity.

Smile is the most lethal secret weapon when talking with people. Your smile will make the other person relax their vigilance and soon become good friends with you.

Don't lose your temper, life is not a TV series.

6. Don't complain about "boredom" in front of others. The more boring you say, the more boring others think you are.

7. When taking a taxi with someone, please sit next to the driver first.

8. When someone speaks ill of someone in front of you, you just smile.

9. Drive your own car and don't stop to say hello to your colleagues who ride bicycles. People will think you are showing off.

10. Visit your colleague when he is ill. Sit naturally in his hospital bed and wash your hands carefully when you get home.

1 1. Don't let everyone know the past. It won't do you much good to look like a blank sheet of paper.

12. Respect people who don't like you.

13. When others criticize you, be sure to let him finish, even if you are right. If you choose to argue, you will be in big trouble.

14. Respect those who criticize you, because they can make you make real progress.

15. Self-criticism always makes people believe, but self-praise is not.

16. Nothing can improve your bowling performance like a bystander. So, don't be stingy with your cheers.

17. Don't take others' kindness for granted, but be grateful. No one is born to wait on you, not even a nanny.

18. The "myna" on the banyan tree is talking, just talking but not listening, and the result is a mess. Learn to listen. Talk about it after you understand it, and get to the point, then you are a first-class negotiator.

19. Respect the host of the reception room and the cleaning aunt, throw the garbage into the trash can and give your seat to the old man on the bus, but these little things can greatly increase your charm.

Remember to start with "we" when you speak. Will bring us closer.

2 1. Give a hand to everyone who sings on stage, and he will be particularly touched by you.

22. Sometimes you should know perfectly well that your diamond ring is expensive! Sometimes, even if you want to ask, you can't ask, for example, what's your salary?

23. If you talk too much, you lose. There are many people, so you talk less.

24. Change the undeclared "No" into: "It takes time", "I'll try my best", "I'm not sure" and "I'll call you when I make up my mind". This is a sign of maturity. (It is also a skill commonly used by employers. When our graduates are employed, most of them encounter the time when the employer says to go back and wait for the phone call, so you can consider changing companies. )

25. Don't expect everyone to like you. It's impossible. Making most people like you is a sign of success.

26. Of course, you should like yourself.

27. If you are performing or giving a speech, if only one person is listening, you should continue with your heart, even if no one is cheering, because this is the road and cradle of your success. You should not let the audience succeed, but you should succeed by yourself.

28. Insist on saying nice things about others behind their backs, and don't worry that these nice things won't reach the ears of the parties. For example, if you get angry with your girlfriend and have a big fight, you may say that you can't go back for a thousand or ten thousand. At this time, the best way is to find a girlfriend's best friend. Do you believe what she said?

Let her pass on three sentences and promise to solve the problem:

(1), isn't your husband always good to you?

(2) He bought this for you and made that for you. How can he be separated because of a few words?

(3), well, can you really divide it?

Your girlfriend will definitely say, oh, yes, I have made up, but this boy is so angry, you can help me clean up this boy in the future.

29. If you see someone else's diary is worth reading, you must reply, because your reply will give people the courage to move on and give great encouragement to the person who writes the diary. At the same time, others will appreciate you ~ ~ ~