Jokes under 100 words, fresh! (Continue to call for papers)

1. A mother took a taxi to pick up her daughter from junior high school.

As the mother and daughter passed through a certain section of the road, they saw street-blocking girls dressed in coquettish clothes starting to "do business" on the side of the road.

My daughter who was in adolescence asked curiously: Mom, what are those women doing standing on the side of the road?

In order not to affect her daughter’s young and innocent heart, the mother replied: Those women are waiting for their husbands.

The talkative taxi driver said to me: It’s so funny, everyone knows those women are prostitutes.

My mother was angry and gave the driver a look.

The daughter then asked: Mom, will that girl have children?

Mom said coldly: Of course, otherwise who will drive the taxi!

2. One day a lady went to buy meatballs.

Miss: Boss, I want the two little ones to take away!

Because business was good, after a while, the boss was afraid that he might make a mistake while busy, so before putting the pot on the pot, he asked:

Miss, are those two small ones?

The lady blushed and replied bitterly: Boss, your two pills are the small ones!

3. There is a young lady who is a pretty fan. Sorry, but she is ugly and has no moral integrity.

Once, she was arranged to go on a blind date.

But the male protagonist has not shown up yet.. This woman is impatient to wait..

So she started to curse...Walile... How dare you make me wait for so long. .&%$&^$%#@!$!%.. He cursed a lot..

At this time, the male protagonist appeared.. He was a fat man..

This woman became even more angry when she saw it... so she cursed again... pointing at the male protagonist and saying... damn fat guy...%$^@#&..

The male protagonist finally got mad...

He slammed the table... and said loudly...

He actually called me fat... Heng... at least I was once thin. Have you ever been beautiful...

4. One day, President Li accidentally fell into the ditch. Three children happened to be passing by,

President Li told them that if you save me, I will give each of you a wish

The first child said he wanted a bicycle.

The second child Just said he wanted a baseball glove.

The third child thought for a long time and said he wanted a wheelchair.

President Li felt very strange why he needed a wheelchair when his hands and feet were fine.

He asked the third child, "Why do you need a wheelchair?"

The third child said, "If my dad knew that I saved you, he would break my legs." ."

5. Three people went to the breakfast shop to buy breakfast.

The first person said to the boss: "Boss, I want an omelette, but not the yolk."

The boss followed suit and fried an egg.

The second person also said to the boss: "Boss, I want an omelette, but not the egg white."

The boss did the same, but he was already a little impatient.

When it was the third person's turn, the boss asked him rudely, "What do you want from your balls?"

The third person said timidly: "I... ..I don’t want eggshells for mine..."

6. Buying underwear

One day a gentleman went to buy underwear for his wife because he had never bought underwear for his wife before. Underwear, so he doesn’t know which size to buy!

After talking to the clerk for a long time, the clerk had no choice but to describe it as fruit!

Clerk: Papaya? ! Sir: no! no!

Store clerk: Apple? ! Sir: No, no, no!

Clerk: Lianwu? ! Be younger, sir!

Clerk: Eggs? ! The husband said happily: Yes! right! right!

When the clerk understood this and turned around to get the underwear, the clerk suddenly shouted: Miss, wait a minute! It's fried.

7. What a scolding

Xiao Du and Xiao Hao had a quarrel today...

Xiao Du said disdainfully: "Huh! Your mother was I should have just strangled you to death when I gave birth to you!"

Xiao Hao said with extremely contempt, "Really? I think your father should have just ejaculated on you! "Where is the wall?"

Xiao Du: "."

8. A 70-year-old mother drove three elderly people who were also mothers in a car slowly. Driving on the provincial highway, traffic mop.com stopped him and said: "Mom, if you drive so slowly, it will affect the traffic."

The driver's mother said: "That sign doesn't say 20 "

Traffic mop.com said: "That's Route 20!"

The driving mother said: "Oh! Oh! What's the number of highway that is, not the limit? Speed ??up!"

Traffic mop.com said: "That's right, I wonder why the other three moms behind you look so ugly!"

The driving mom replied : "We just drove over from Route 245!"

9. Wet dream...!

In the bookstore, Azhu's eyes suddenly lit up and she saw a book called "Dreams Lost on the Grassland"

Oh, this is incredible! It's amazing that the "wet dream" actually falls to the ground!

They quickly asked A-Hua to take a look. A-Hua also opened it excitedly and took a closer look. Only then did they suddenly find that the catalog said:

"Dream, left on the grassland." "

Azhu was greatly disappointed and said unhappily: In the future I will publish a book called "The Moon Always Hangs in the Sky"

10. Caterpillar

Two caterpillars were crawling across the grass. The male caterpillar said to the female caterpillar: How about we go home?

The female caterpillar said: OK!

When the pair of caterpillars returned to the female caterpillar's home, the male caterpillar discovered that the female caterpillar was wearing a wedding ring.

The male caterpillar said: I don’t do this kind of thing with a married female caterpillar.

The female caterpillar said: Don’t worry! My husband will not come back,

The male caterpillar said: How can you be so sure!

The female caterpillar said: He got up very early today and went fishing

11. When a person was passing by a house, a used condom suddenly flew down from the second floor window. It just fell on his head.

The man felt disgusted and annoyed, so he walked to the door of the house and knocked hard.

An old man opened the door and asked him why he knocked so hard.

The man asked: "Who lives on the second floor?"

The old man replied: "What does this have to do with you? My daughter and her fiancé live up there. .

"

The man handed the condom to the old man and said, "Okay, I just want to tell you that your grandson fell from the window

12. One day, someone Jun's wife gave birth to a baby, and he hurried to the hospital to visit him. After waiting for n hours, crying came from the delivery room. He shouted happily, I am a father! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born with a congenital malformation. A certain gentleman stayed there and didn't understand the reason. Suddenly his wife shouted from the delivery room: It's all God's fault.

13. One day the lady went to ask the fortune teller what her fortune was.

The fortune teller said: You have a bad omen today.

The lady said in panic: What if I take off my bra.

The fortune teller said: There are still two big waves to go through.

14. Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after using the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are a lot of ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so Test Xiao Ming: What do the ants say?

Xiao Ming looked confused... and said:

Ant... said nothing...

Brother: "Look! The face of the doll is very similar to that of my mother-in-law."

Brother: "How can it be similar?"

Brother: "Because they have no teeth!"

15 . Matchstick suddenly felt that his head was itchy, so he stretched out his hand to scratch it, and he burned himself to death by scratching it.

Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin?

Answer: Eraser.

Because of the eraser (bad eraser).

Question: What are you afraid of cloth and paper?

Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing.

Reason: Don’t be afraid of ten thousand (cloth), just be afraid of something unexpected (paper).

Question: How to make a sparrow quiet?

Answer: Press it.

Reason: silence.

16. Chongchong: Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?

Xiaohua: No, I’m useless.

Chongchong: Are you really useless?

Xiaohua: I’m so useless!

Chongchong: Alas, you are the 17th person to admit that you are useless