Stepmother is hard to be! I really can't take my stepson as my own. Is it really that hard to treat him as one of our own?

Two years ago, very excited, she married her single father Wei. Because he has no father since he was a child, Qiu Zi always has an inexplicable affection for mature and steady men, especially those who can take care of children.

Wei and I met in a working relationship. At that time, her company held a big customer tasting meeting, eating and drinking. There were more than 200 people in the audience, only Wei with his three-year-old son blushed and had a fever. The activity lasted for more than two hours, and the son hung around Wei's neck all the time. Qiu Zi was inexplicably moved and attracted.

Later, I took the initiative to inquire about Wei's information and gradually became familiar with it in my work contact. After learning that Wei was widowed, I liked him more and was full of sympathy. In less than a year, I married Wei without hesitation.

But it was not until I entered Wei's family that I felt the difficulty of this marriage. The stepson was very precocious and knew that Qiu Zi was not his biological mother. Sometimes he deliberately takes out the wedding photos of Wei and his ex-wife and says, "This is my mother, but you are not."

Although Qiu Zi will feel sad and sad, she still respects her death. She also tried her best to make up for the lack of maternal love of her stepson, but then the situation began to get out of control.

Usually, I go to work with Wei Du, and the children are brought by grandparents, which is a bit cruel. Children like to hit people and swear, but they don't like to eat. They just want to eat snacks all the time. If they don't give them, they will cry and roll on the ground. Even after eating, my grandparents chased and fed me for more than an hour before eating half a bowl of rice. In kindergarten, they often make trouble, scratch their children and spit in the quilt secretly. ...

Qiu Zi always goes to kindergarten to apologize. No matter how Qiu Zi confided in his stepson, telling him that "Mom and Dad love you very much, and Mom is sincere to you", the stepson always goes in one ear and out the other, but he doesn't care.

Qiu Zi fuck broken heart, regardless of him, afraid of his crooked, tube he, can't touch can't play can't shout, sometimes endure to the last breath.

What makes me speechless is that whenever my stepson sees her close to Wei, such as sitting on the sofa watching TV with Wei after dinner, my stepson must be squeezed among them. Stepsons will secretly hang up Wei's phone or spread bad words between them.

At first, Qiu Zi made up his mind that he must take his stepson as his own son and give everything to make his children feel maternal love. Even for her stepson, she can't have another child. But in the end, Qiu Zi was exhausted and surrendered to reality.

She is no longer very enthusiastic about her stepson. She is patient and carefree. She turned a blind eye. If her stepson doesn't like it, she won't eat it. If she wants to watch a tablet, she will let him watch enough. If she wants to eat snacks, she will buy them back in a box ... In doing so, although the relationship between Qiu Zi and her stepson has eased, she often feels guilty. After all, she is used to killing her own children. She is afraid that one day, she will spoil her children into lawlessness and water under the bridge.

After this marriage lasted for two years, Qiu Zi had the idea of divorce, because through this stepson, she would never be able to open her eyebrows in this marriage, and she would always be depressed and anxious.

The most important thing is that although Wei is a good man, his mind is divided by at least one-third by his son, one-third by his work and one-third by his parents, leaving care and love in name only.

She had a showdown with Wei. She said, "I tried my best. Children can't treat me as their own mother, and I really can't treat him as my own mother. The only thing I can do is not to hurt him. Let's get a divorce before I hurt him. I can't take it anymore. I'm afraid that one day I can't control myself and do something that hurts him ... "

Wei said, "I have wronged you. Leave him alone. Let's have a baby of our own and everything will be fine. "

Qiu Zi dare not answer this question. If she wants another child, what will be the struggle between the two children? The best solution she can think of is to break up peacefully before she has children, so that she can experience a life and he has nothing to lose.

Wei refused to buy flowers and invite her to dinner, begging not to leave their father and son, because she left, almost no girls could have a crush on their father and son, and it was hard to find another stepmother who was so kind and honest!

Qiu Zi is in a dilemma. He wants to leave very much, but he is a little soft-hearted.

My suggestion is:

First, decisively divorce, because there are no children, the cost of divorce is the lowest, and we must seize the opportunity.

When people are alive, they should first respect their feelings and not affect others. This is the most basic and core point of "self-love". When the stepmother is sad and unhappy every day, she has to wear a mask to live. In the long run, this is not good for her health.

If you put your life into it because you have heard a few good words, it shows that Qiu Zi is weak, doesn't love himself, doesn't deserve love, and won't live well in the future.

Second, don't be a stepmother or stepfather easily, don't underestimate your own evil, and don't underestimate the selfishness of human nature.

As the saying goes, people's hearts are separated from their bellies, and their own may turn against each other, not to mention their own? Some women, because of their shallow experience and low level of understanding of human nature, are relatively virgins, and it is easy to see people and things with filters, so they are easily moved and ignore reality.

Many people think that they must be a good person, but in fact they just have no chance to get in touch with their evil and selfishness for the time being. Just like Qiu Zi, he was too idealistic and ended up in a dilemma. If you don't want to be a good stepmother from the beginning, face the reality, you will never choose the life of a stepmother.

Third, in any intimate relationship, you can not love, but don't hurt. If it hurts, you might as well leave early.

Qiu Zi's words moved me very much. She admitted that she didn't love her stepson, but also said, "The only thing I can do is not to hurt him." . Many biological parents can't do this, admit that they don't love their children so much, and respect each other on the basis of honesty. This can be used for reference in any intimate relationship.

For example, couples, many couples have long since stopped loving. The brave choose to divorce, but there are still many people who choose to stay married for various reasons. Marriages that don't love each other are common, but there are fewer marriages that don't hurt each other.

Many people don't love each other so much, dare not admit it, dare not face themselves, shake hands and feel awkward. They can't get along with themselves and make each other feel better at the same time. Don't give any respect, disgust, and hurt each other unscrupulously, such as long-term cold war and cold violence between husband and wife.

Between "not only not loving, but also staying together and hurting each other" and "I don't want to hurt you, I want to leave", please choose the latter.

I hope you can meet a close relationship that is both in love and not easy to get hurt. If you can't be satisfied, then love yourself, don't embarrass yourself, don't treat yourself as a "patient", and live your life calmly instead of jumping into a fire pit in a hurry.