20 funniest jokes

1, an IT manager walks into a ramen restaurant and asks: Do you need a client? The interface seems a little old. "The boss is stupefied:" The noodles are usually the man's, and the parties are needed when they are busy. The connection ... interface must be fresh, but the ribs were yesterday. "

If what you give me is the same as what you give to others, then I don't want it. Aunt in the canteen picked up the big spoon: "Do you want it or not? Do you want it? "

When I was a child, I always felt that someone was following me, so I got into the habit of turning around after a few steps. Ten years later, I became a tango teacher.

Xiaoming farted loudly in the elevator. Xiao Gang held his nose with one hand and pointed to the sign on the elevator with the other and said, "Don't you see that it says' handle with care'?"

5. When I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling and often tangled. Should I get married when I grow up? It was not until I reached that age that I found out: I really think too much!

6. Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! You ruined me, I won't say anything! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "

7, what is maturity, your mother didn't rush you, you put on long pants! What is youth? Your mother urges you, but you still don't wear long pants!

8. I have a dream, that is to return to China with sunglasses and Lamborghini. After more than 20 years of hard work, I have done half of it, and I have sunglasses.

9. I heard that irregular rest is very harmful to my health, which scares me to stay up late every day and regularly.

10, the purpose of installing a mirror in the bathroom is to let you pee and look in the mirror.

1 1, as soon as I reviewed it, I found other people's heads, including printers, tape recorders and digital cameras. My head is a soymilk machine.

12, my wife suddenly got angry and scolded me for some reason. I coaxed her for a long time before she calmed down and asked, "Do you know where you are wrong now?" I said angrily, "What do you mean? Can't I be scolded by you if I'm right? "

13, every exam, class average, will be in my hand.

14, I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a special eye for girls. All the girls I chased married good people in the end without exception.

15, the boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. The girlfriend exclaimed, "It smells good!" The boy with a hard bag on his back said very gentlemanly, "If you like, we'll walk to the front of the restaurant again."

16. On the first day of school, the kindergarten director called the parents and told them whether your children had watched too many court plays. On the first day of roll call, the children directly replied, "I am a slave!" "

17, I dreamed that I was beaten by a group of people last night, woke up with fear, and then went back to sleep. I met that group of people and said to me, how dare you come back?

18, eating mala Tang, the boss said that his mala Tang is divided into five grades: slightly spicy, moderately spicy, spicy, unusually spicy, and the next day's buttocks hurt.

19, once there was a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it. If I could start over, I would choose Li Bai.

20. I called my boyfriend yesterday and suddenly got disconnected. After a while, the goods called me again. Before I could speak, he said, "Can you lose weight? How many times have you said this month? When I laughed, my face touched the hang up button! "