Naughty and funny funny copy

1. After watching the Journey to the West for so many years, I still haven't figured out who said the news that Tang monk meat can live forever, and why does every monster know it?

2. The dog proposed to the bear, and the bear said, "I don't want to marry you, I want to marry the cat. "The dog was puzzled and asked," Why? " The bear said, "If I marry a dog, I will have a bear. If I marry a cat, I will have a panda!" "

3. Granny exclaimed after watching the Olympic 1-meter race: How scary! Several coal diggers knelt in a row. One with a gun tried to shoot them, but they didn't aim at it. The kids scared that one to run! The rope can't stop it!

4. Go to a restaurant for dinner. Order a handmade noodle. The waiter will say later that the machine is broken. Please order something else!

5. My colleague asked me if you are too demanding to find someone, and you are still alone. I said no, just one standard, just don't dislike my poverty. Colleague: You are asking too much!

6. My friend is a middle school teacher. On Christmas Eve, her status was updated: "Students give me apples that I can't finish, and I give students homework that I can't finish."

7. I am a prodigal son who is used to wandering, and I have been waiting for someone who can let me put down my backpack. I think you are the one I was meant to be. Cut the crap, big bags and small bags pass the security check, and hurry up.

8. Dad: Do you know how much I love you? Son: How much? Dad: You made a mistake when you were a child. I specially asked for half a day off to go home and beat you.

9. Me: "You weren't like this before. Why have you spent so much money recently?" Friend: "Got gynecological diseases" I: "Your sister, you are a man, what gynecological diseases can you have?" Friend: "Online shopping!"

1. Go to the hospital. In front of me is a female patient. Patient: Doctor, I feel that I have been sleeping a little abnormally recently. Doctor: What are the symptoms? Patient: I wake up at seven o'clock every day now. The doctor said helplessly, it's time to wake up at seven o'clock, girl.

11. at the beginning of school, I said: let's break up! Break up, computer! Break up, WIFI! Break up, TV! Break up, air conditioner! I fucking married the school! Roommate God comments: You have so many spare tires before you get married!

XII. One day, my son asked me: Dad, why is Donald's surname Tang? Me: Because he loves candy! Son: Why is Mickey Mouse surnamed Mi? Me: Because he likes rice. Son: Dad, I don't want to share your last name. Me: Why? Son: Dad, you like eating shit, but I don't!

XIII. When I was in junior high school, my math teacher said to one of my sleepy classmates: You came to class, not to sleep. My classmate replied decisively: You are here to teach, not to hypnotize.

14. Journey to the West is actually a workplace novel: there are laymen coming in from the air. Sometimes, there are big Boss who come over to instruct the work, smelly monkeys who take the blame for dirty work, lazy and greedy pig teammates, stupid monks who echo everywhere, and Bai Longma who is good at being bullied and rode-if you can't find your shadow in this group, be careful not to be killed as a demon!

15. Don't play with your mobile phone anymore. Today, I looked down at my mobile phone. Just when the boss came, I quickly said, "Good morning!" At the end of the year, I have to look for a job again.

XVI. A buddy likes chatting online. Once he went to meet a female netizen, I asked him what happened. He said: the written test passed, but the interview failed.

17. A beggar on the roadside said to Xiaoming, "Please be kind, Sir. Can I have two yuan to buy a loaf?" I saw the broken bowl in front of him empty, so I bought a loaf of bread and went back to him and said, "See the price tag? The loaf has risen to three dollars, and I can't buy it for two dollars!" "

18. When the university is about to graduate, the whole class is writing the address book with mirth. The teacher sneered: Don't write. Those who mix well in the future won't contact you. Those who mix poorly don't want to be contacted. Those who have a good relationship, don't write, contact, and those who have a bad relationship, don't contact. If you have time, it is better to do more questions. The whole class is blue in the face ...

19. How serious is this smog? Let's just say that Xiao Liu's wife got lost in her own community and finally found it at Lao Wang's house next door.

2. There is a boy girlfriend in the dormitory who is darker. One night he dated his girlfriend in the school Woods and kissed under the tree. Afterwards, I went back to my dormitory and found a lot of food on the table, so I ate happily. At this time, the head of the room came over and said leisurely: Brother, if you have any difficulties, just tell us. I saw it in the self-study just now. You were gnawing at the bark with a tree in your arms! 21. In the workshop, the mechanic taught his apprentice: "How many times have I told you! Don't tighten the screws so tightly after repairing the machine for beautiful girls. If the screws are tightened, the machine won't break down. If the machine doesn't break down, we won't have an excuse to befriend them! "

22. I went to save money at noon. When I was waiting in line, a beautiful woman asked me at the back: "Do you save money?" "yeah!" "I just want to withdraw money. Anyway, if you want to deposit it, you might as well give it to me, so you don't have to wait in line." I thought it made sense, so I gave her the money!

23. A patient asked the doctor before the operating table: Will you be punished if the operation fails? The doctor replied: I will be deducted from my January bonus. But don't worry, I just made 4 thousand yuan in stock trading!

XXIV. The reporter interviewed 1 penguins about their daily life. The first 99 penguins said: Eat, sleep and fight peas! The hundredth penguin says: Eat. Sleep. The reporter asked why he didn't fight peas. A: MD, I am Doudou!

Twenty-five. A rich woman walks with a dog, and a beggar in Lu Yu. The rich woman proudly said to the beggar, "You call my dog Dad, and I will give you one hundred yuan!" " The beggar said, "What if I scream ten times?" The rich woman happily replied, "Then I will give a thousand!" " The beggar immediately shouted at the dog for ten times, which attracted the audience like a cloud. In full view, the rich woman had to pay the beggar. After receiving the money, the beggar repeatedly shouted, "Thank you, Mom! Thank you, Mom! "