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Withdrawn personality, social phobia, like to be alone, what is the reason?
Most people who are withdrawn and like to be alone grew up in an unharmonious family environment, such as communication between parents and communication between parents and children.
Let children establish a misunderstanding from an early age: "If you communicate with others, things will hurt you." .
This is gradually formed in the process of your growth. You don't want others to walk into you, and you don't want to get close to other people's habits.
For example, when I was a child, my parents had a long fight, a cold war and even hatred. Then children who grow up in such a family will have two extreme reactions when interacting with people.
One is unsociable, does not believe in love, and does not believe in mutual affection. This is the feeling of hurting yourself as a child, a kind of escape and dodge.
The other is like a baby with an unbroken umbilical cord, always trying to stick to someone who belongs to me. This is an excessive compensation for the lack of spiritual needs when I was a child.
Therefore, children's "starting line" is not money and cram schools, but a harmonious, comfortable and loving growth environment for children from an early age.
I am withdrawn and have social phobia, which is a shadow of my childhood and has a great influence on my life.
1. is the influence of family environment. Stuttering, speechless, unable to see their own advantages, very inferior. I was influenced by my parents since I was a child, and my mother is a careless person. I praise others almost every day and compare me with other children. I never praised myself, encouraged myself and grew up in criticism. I can't see that I am a little lonely, and I feel inferior in the crowd.
2. Don't believe in yourself. Taciturn people are always afraid to say the wrong thing and annoy others. Every time we communicate, we always listen to other people's stories, and we dare not confide in them or even quarrel, so we can't get respect from others.
When I was a child, my classmates had a great influence. Some of them are very strong, and they have been in the spotlight since childhood. For an unknown person like me, I just watch others shine and don't know when I get lost in the crowd. I have learned patience since I was a child, and I dare not force what I like. Give it to others again and again, and your temper will be smoothed out a little.
I am withdrawn, I blush inadvertently, and I dare not speak loudly or express myself. But people like me need to study more, study hard, practice oral English alone, communicate with one or two sincere friends, slowly precipitate themselves, and then slowly change themselves when your knowledge is rich.
If you have butterflies in full bloom, change your attitude and exercise more, you must firmly believe that you are unique, and others can't learn your persistence. Love yourself, be self-disciplined and say to the mirror every day, you are the best, come on!
Maybe it's because when you are alone without being ignored by others, you will feel lost and your self-esteem will be frustrated. The mood of this world has certain thoughts and emotions, and then it begins to be unwilling to communicate with others and wants to be alone. When others make fun of you, or say you don't want to hear it, you will feel laughed at, which may make you feel worse. When this happens, you will want to run away, and then there will be many voices and ideas in your heart. At this time, you will also start to want to lock yourself up. Lonely people should be very fragile and afraid of being hurt. If you are withdrawn, you might as well go out and take part in more activities. Maybe in some activities, you can open your heart and make yourself cheerful. You can spend more time with some cheerful friends, so maybe you will become cheerful under their influence.
Although a person seems to be nothing, people are social animals and still need companionship. If you stay alone for a long time, no one will say anything when you encounter problems, and you don't know who to talk to. No one can let you share your happiness and sadness. So, open your heart and communicate. Adjust your current state of mind and enjoy a better life.
● The growth environment of childhood. You should have heard that a lucky life is built with a good childhood, and an unfortunate life is slowly healing childhood. Childhood is really too important for a person's growth, and the most important thing is its role in shaping personality.
● What should you have experienced in your childhood? You don't like playing with friends, and you don't fit in.
● Try to let your heart enter some sunshine, slowly let others integrate into your life and open your heart to others. Personality will be difficult to change, but it is not difficult to improve.
Withdrawn personality, social phobia, like to be alone, what is the reason?
When I was a child, everyone greeted me when they met: "Have you eaten?" The answer is "I have eaten" or "I haven't eaten yet", and there are almost no other greetings. At that time, there was little information to exchange, and there was not much to exchange, except something to say.
In today's world, whether it is a career problem, an interpersonal problem or a marriage problem, it is essentially a cooperation problem. We all need to communicate, so social skills are very important and inseparable from social interaction.
The root cause of social phobia is that there is nothing to say. To put it bluntly, there are no words. I want to say, but I don't know what to say. There is nothing to say, there is no desire to communicate. Over time, the less you talk, the less you want to talk, and it is easy to have social phobia. It's not surprising that you like being alone.
Social phobia is easy to overcome. Welcome to communicate. I will continue to share my methods and experiences to overcome social phobia.
The formation of withdrawn personality is caused by many reasons.
First of all, personality factors, that is, neuroticism, are mostly insensitive to new things outside, shy, timid and lack of initiative. Longsheng Jiuzi is different. This personality is innate and has a lot to do with the personality genes of his parents.
Secondly, it is influenced by acquired factors. For example, because of family changes, entrepreneurial failure, unknown tragic childhood experiences, frustrated love, family discord and other reasons, people are strongly stimulated and overreacted, resulting in mental states such as depression and salvation, which are mostly caused by poor psychological endurance.
Finally, the best way to solve the problems listed in this topic is to strengthen the study and practice of psychological counseling, not to be afraid of illness and doctors, and to establish a correct attitude and values towards life. At the same time, society is a big school. No matter what kind of situation you encounter, you should dare to face up to it and prescribe the right medicine. Whether it is family disharmony, career failure, childhood experience or love frustration, we should bravely change and overcome, summarize and improve in social life. After all, the past is just an experience, not a burden. It is also very important to increase physical exercise step by step, especially aerobic or anaerobic endurance training, which is of great benefit to regulating one's mental state and autonomic nerves, and is conducive to cultivating an active and healthy lifestyle and personality formation, so as to integrate into the social family of interpersonal communication more quickly. I hope the above suggestions can help you.
1, lack of confidence
Lack of self-awareness in the process of growing up will gradually become unconfident. People who are not confident at ordinary times are afraid of socializing. Even if they socialize occasionally, they will feel nervous in the process of socializing. The more nervous you are, the less willing you are to talk to others, which leads to the fear of society.
2. Lack of social experience
There is also a lack of experience in participating in some social activities. For example, some network engineers face computers all day and have little time to participate in social activities, thus lacking social skills. Occasionally, in the process of social interaction, it will bring a particularly bad impression to others, arouse their dissatisfaction, lead to an embarrassing situation, and finally be afraid of social interaction.
3. Family reasons
When some people were children, their parents often quarreled or even started fighting because of family disharmony, which would greatly affect their children's psychology. This will make children afraid of communication from an early age and like to hide rather than socialize. If such things happen frequently, they will remain silent, unwilling to talk and want to be alone.
4. Inferiority
Many people who are afraid of socializing are due to their fear of socializing, or because of their short stature, bad looks or poor family conditions, which leads to psychological abnormalities and fear of being discovered by others, thus generating a strong sense of inferiority in the process of socializing.
5. Self-esteem is particularly strong
Anyone can get hurt during social interaction. When a person with high self-esteem is hurt in the process of social communication, he will fall into extreme sadness and even hate contact with the outside world. Over time, he will be isolated by society and eventually afraid of socializing.
Autism is caused by the birth environment. Parents' personality traits are related to their genes. If parents are not good at words, so is setting an example. Another is that parents are busy with work and seldom spend time with their children. Over time, children form an autistic character. Can't talk, don't want to talk, can't communicate with people, have fear of people, and have social phobia. To change your social phobia, you must first change your behavior habits, change from family to friends, learn to share together, and participate in some fitness outdoor activities. In this way, personality changes, and social phobia no longer exists.
Have a certain degree of anxiety and depression. Impaired social function is the standard to measure psychological disorder.
Social phobia is the most typical manifestation of depression. Escape, unwillingness to take any responsibility, lack of self-confidence, paranoia, guilt, self-punishment and sense of worthlessness are all psychological obstacles caused by depression. Loneliness is also caused by depression, not depression caused by personality. There are many reasons for depression, not just psychological reasons. Depression is not a simple psychological disease, but also a real physical disease. On the one hand, we should consult a psychological counselor, on the other hand, we should also seek treatment from a psychological doctor.
The first is the influence of family background, the language and behavior of family or relatives, or the feeling of inferiority and unsociable brought by unfriendly and disharmonious family relations. Parents don't care enough about their children, or only pay attention to material satisfaction, ignoring their spiritual needs. The second is that after I went to school, the surrounding environment was strange and the pace of life accelerated, which led to little time for people to tell the truth. Slowly, the distance between people will get farther and farther, leading to loneliness, social phobia and loneliness.
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