The most classic cold joke

I hope you like it: you can send it to your friends as a funny message to entertain yourself: 1. You sneak into my room, get into my bed and play hide-and-seek with me. I have insomnia for you. I'm crazy about you. I know you love me, want to kiss me, want to bite me ... damn mosquito, fan you to death! ? I haven't heard from you for a long time. I've been thinking about you these two days, and my heart is in a mess. I have searched all your favorite ponds, dining rooms and sleeping lawns, but I still haven't seen you. My heart is broken! ! How can a pig with such a big head be lost? ? 4. Remember? I saw you in the park that day, sitting in the sun, lazy and uncomfortable I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: "Keep your voice down, no one will call me an idiot after tanning!" " " ? 5. The night is already deep. I wake up from my sleep because I think of you. Why do you always leave me quietly in the middle of the night when I want to hug you? I really need you! My beloved pillow, where did you fall? ? 7. Everyone who kissed me will be dumped by me. Maybe you will think I am too heartless. Actually, I miss kissing, too. It really smells good, but what can I do? Eating snails is like this! ? I hope you can cooperate with me to do some great things. We will eat, drink and be merry, and we can travel around the world. I think with your charm, you will earn more than me. Promise me? Let's go begging for food ..? 9. In the vast sea of people, my heart is broken for you. Your cold expression makes me feel dull. Your indifference makes me afraid to show my heart, but I can't extricate myself. Now I want you to understand ... you're stepping on my foot! ? 10. In the morning, you approached my bed gently and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes have been staring at me, I really can't refuse you ... "Good dog, take you for a walk! " ? 1 1. One day, you squatted on the side of the road and looked at a pile of poop carefully. You leaned over and smelled it: Is it poop? You dig with your hand: it seems to be poop, you put it in your mouth and taste it: it's really poop, and suddenly you shout: It's a good thing you didn't step on it-_-! ? 12. I told my mother that I like you and want you to come to my house and stay with me day and night. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? Through these days of communication, I found that I can't live without you! Really! But my mother refused, and she said bitterly, "pigs are not allowed here!" " ? 13. The weather will change recently and start to get cold. You must take care of yourself, don't freeze. As the saying goes, "people freeze their legs, pigs freeze their mouths." I've put on my pants, so buy a mask quickly! ? 14. Today, you woke up to find a mosquito lying next to your pillow and a suicide note: "I struggled all night, but I failed to pierce your face. You are so thick-skinned, I am ashamed to live in this world. Please forgive him, Lord, I killed myself! " ? 15. Friar Sand: I changed it sixteen times; Bajie: I changed thirty-two; Wukong: I changed seventy-two changes; Tang Priest: Why don't you change your cell phone on the way? The monster is reading mobile phone text messages! ? 16. Abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless? Even if the whole world hates you and ignores you, at least there is us-the Animal Protection Association. ? 17. Pigs and dogs are jailers in animal countries. One day, I caught an uninvited guest named SMS and imprisoned him. The next day, SMS escaped from prison. The warden investigated, and the dog said with grievance, "I had a rest yesterday, and it was a pig who read the text message!" " ? 18. "nHZ！ "Know that you can't guess, can't understand, can't see? Do you know Pinyin? There is a limit to your stupidity! Turn the phone upside down ... 19. I heard that there will be a meteor shower tonight. Look, it's a big pig. At that time, a big pig will fall from the sky. Unfortunately, I can't watch it, because I want to sleep. So many people are watching you fly! ? 20. Toad chasing swan, swan: If I were you, I would have died. Toad refused: The pig is still alive and well. The pig is very wronged: I just read the message. Who did I piss off? ! ?