How to treat the loners in the class?

There are several students in almost every class. They are "withdrawn" or "paranoid", withdrawn and rarely associate with other students. They are detached from the collective and indifferent to many activities in the class, giving people the impression that they are relatively indifferent and "unsociable". Then, how do you want to help these students, so that they can better integrate into the group and live in harmony with their classmates? Bian Xiao's suggestions are as follows:

Keep your mind balanced and lift your weight easily.

For these children, the class teacher must first settle his mind. In fact, as long as there is a crowd, there will be such "alternative" people. Only in the class, because the class teacher has a sense of responsibility and hopes that the whole class will be United and harmonious, "no one can be less", this contradiction is more prominent. A class was originally composed of students of various personalities. If there are thousands of people, it is not normal. Classes should become fertile ground for students' growth, provide a tolerant, safe and friendly growth environment for everyone, and be able to accept and accommodate all kinds of children. The head teacher wants to change the students' character. The original intention of this attempt may be good, but the effect may not be ideal, and it may even be reversed. We can't "mold" students with our own will or likes and dislikes, but such efforts may adversely affect the development and growth of students' personality.

Therefore, in the face of the so-called "unsociable" students, the class teacher should have an inclusive attitude and don't have to think too seriously about such problems. It's just that some unsociable children live in pain, some people are unaware of it, and some people can enjoy themselves. Except for a few children with mental illness, or the situation has reached a level that affects the construction and development of class collectives, it is generally possible to intervene less or take cautious actions, and the main focus should be on regulating the collective atmosphere. Pay attention to students' special personality, but don't care too much. Excessive attention may make students feel like a "freak" and strengthen their negative consciousness. Some class teachers will show sympathy for them and show it in front of other students, which is also inappropriate. For example, some children are quiet by nature and do not like to join in the fun, which should not be understood as unsociable.

If you really need to take some measures to help, you should try to leave no trace. In a word, attention and concern should not be superficial, and strengthen the weaknesses in students' personality. Such students are often sensitive, so we should pay special attention to the wisdom and art of education.

Find out the reason and deal with it by classification.

There are many reasons why students don't fit in, which are related to congenital inheritance, family education, personal experience and environmental influence. Therefore, it is necessary to analyze and classify the reasons why students don't fit in.

First, congenital reasons.

Every child has a different temperament. The physiologist Pavlov combined higher nervous activity's two basic processes (excitement and inhibition) and three basic characteristics (intensity, balance and flexibility) to form four main types of higher nervous activity: strong, balanced and flexible (sanguine), strong, balanced and inflexible (mucinous), strong and unbalanced (choleric) and weak (depressive). The type of neural activity is closely related to the individual's ability to adapt to the environment. Disadvantaged children are difficult to adapt to the environment and unwilling to communicate with others.

Second, family reasons.

The reason why children are unsociable is closely related to parents' attitude towards their children and family environment. One is the attitude of parents towards their children, such as excessive concern, everything is arranged instead, the other is the way parents educate their children, such as warning their children that there are many bad people in this society, "don't talk to strangers", and the other is the way parents behave when their children have problems, such as making a mountain out of a molehill and overreacting. These incorrect handling methods will make children afraid of interacting with others. Nowadays, students have more only children, lacking playmates of the same age since childhood, and some play alone or with people much older than themselves. Although this improves children's autonomy, because a person plays games freely, easily and casually, when a person is used to this lifestyle, he is unwilling to cooperate and share with others when he gets to school.

Third, peer reasons.

1, "They don't like me"

Some children have distrust of others because of some physical defects, or have been bullied, laughed at, fooled or deceived while playing games with their peers. Over time, they have developed the habit of being alone, which is actually a manifestation of excessive self-protection.

2. "I don't like them"

In addition to being withdrawn, students take the initiative to stay away from groups or peers, or it may be because they don't like, look down on or are at odds with their classmates. It can be described in two words: "Birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups", and "different paths are incompatible". Generally can be divided into three situations:

(1) Mature, thinks highly of himself, and disdains to communicate with peers. For various reasons, they are not used to their classmates or even some teachers, and feel that they are not at the same level. They would rather stay alone than associate with others. This situation may be caused by unexpected failure or high score in the entrance examination or placement examination, and the contrast between family conditions and classmates.

(2) The social circle is not in the class, but having friends outside the class or liking to associate with people outside the school often leads to other troubles.

(3) Unsatisfied with the class situation or unsatisfied with personal demands, leading to unhappiness. For example, a child who has lived in a civilized environment since childhood will be very unhappy when he comes to a group where classmates often curse or behave rudely.

There are many ways for students to be unsociable. The head teacher should look at the essence through the phenomenon. Sometimes even if they are similar, their psychological motives may be completely different, which requires "syndrome differentiation and treatment" and "different treatment for the same disease". Therefore, only by accurately analyzing the causes of students' inadaptability can effective actions be taken.

For children with congenital autism, we mainly rely on the collective strength to influence and warm them and strive to improve their situation, but this improvement is urgent, and haste makes waste, so we can only take it slowly. Psychological research shows that people's temperament types are not absolutely constant. This gives us a little confidence and allows us to treat these children more leniently; For those mainly caused by family reasons, it is necessary to strengthen communication with parents, and home and school should cooperate with each other and act together to form an educational synergy; For the third case, the head teacher should take different countermeasures, or create a good class spirit, or build a higher platform for talented students, or strengthen the education of values, equality and mutual respect. Specifically, the following methods can be used.

Countermeasure research: to deal with students' "unsociable" and cooperate collectively!

Create an atmosphere, collective influence

Creating a good class atmosphere and using collective strength to influence and change these unsociable children is the most important method. A United, democratic, equal and harmonious class group can infect and assimilate everyone in it, thus weakening their original extreme personality.

1. Be civilized and upright in class. Make fun of classmates' weaknesses or defects, and deal with bullying seriously. You can do some public opinion surveys in the class, such as "Do you think you can get along well with your classmates? What is the reason? " "Are you happy in class? Why? " Wait, analyze the results and comment on education at the class meeting.

2. Carry out a variety of class activities to enhance collective cohesion and attract students. For example, I organize a "group birthday party" every month in my class. Students born that month will get everyone's blessing and serve other students as the host next month. I have noticed that some students, especially those who are not very active at ordinary times, often become stars at birthday parties because of their "mystery". This has greatly improved the interpersonal communication between students.

3. "Send invitations" to unsociable children in activities to strengthen them. There is a boy in my class who is not willing to take part in group activities. Once a class organized public welfare work, I deliberately asked, "This public welfare work only needs boys to participate." All the other boys stood up and walked away, but the boy was still sitting there hesitating. I winked at the boys and several boys jumped on each other. They picked up the man and left, laughing as they walked, "If he were a man, he would leave", so he had to be implicated once. Afterwards, I praised those male students and said that I would "kidnap" him like this again. I have had a second time, and I am embarrassed to refuse such an activity in the future.