Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - I just like your funny comments with a sense of humor.
I just like your funny comments with a sense of humor.
A teacher asked his students why the body becomes cold after death. One student replied: It will naturally cool down when the mind is calm.
Failed physics? normal! Do you need to consider air resistance when jumping from a building?
Never-ending refers to the dialogue between idiots and fools
The ending is actually doomed early on, and we are just living according to the script of fate.
What a terrible fool an educated fool is!
What is innovation? Just pick up the sheets that you have been sleeping on for half a year, shake them out, and put them back on again.
Whenever it is midnight, it is a very tangled problem to call someone to get up and go to the toilet.
I want to cry, I want to make trouble, stay up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills and a small rope to hang myself.
Make the mistake of making the mistake, or make the mistake of making the mistake. Anyway, it will be done.
Failure is not terrible, the key is whether it succeeds or not
I haven’t written with a pen for a long time. I don’t know if I don’t write. I was shocked when I wrote: Martian writing.
Could you please tell me, is your coffin a flip-top or a sliding-top?
Don’t test me with your beauty, because I can’t stand the test.
The most useless thing in the world is the salary slip. If you look at it, you will get angry and wipe your butt too thinly.
Whoever dares to invade China again, we can only send them a sentence in Chinese: light up the toilet.
How long can the smile you pull out last, and whether your wish for a shooting star will come true.
No one is willing to let go of memories, but I am unable to fight against the loneliness of this world.
You can't understand my complicated emotions. You are still laughing from the sidelines, and you don't even comfort my sadness at all.
Loneliness is not something you are born with, but starts from the moment you fall in love with someone
There are things that some people don’t have in their hearts, even if you dig through the depths of your heart, you can find them. Neither does the liver.
The wind is wandering and the clouds are wandering, between you and me. Do you still remember what I said?
Recollecting the word "life" for decades makes my brain twitch and my spinal cord spasm. Still missing the point.
The secret to staying young is to have a restless heart
I sent my heart to the wrong address, can you please return it to me now?
Many things fall somewhere between "not saying I'm aggrieved" and "saying it's pretentious".
Do you like my angelic face or devilish figure? I just like your sense of humor.
Goose and goose, cut the curved neck with a knife, pluck the feathers, add a ladle of water, light the fire and cover the pot.
Except for me saying I love you, except for you saying I’m sorry, the rest is all left to myself.
Do you know that a smiling expression cannot mean anything? Others will never know the inner guilt, and neither will you.
There was once you who accompanied me through the loneliness of youth and believed that we were the only ones for each other.
He is like a cancer growing on my body. I dare not bear the pain of being separated from him, and would rather stay with him until we grow old.
Failed in politics? normal! China has 1.3 billion people. Is it your turn to be the president? Funny comments in the circle of friends that attract likes and super humorous funny comments
1. In order to consolidate our friendship, narrow the gap between the east and the west, suppress the gap between rich and poor, eliminate social differentiation, and stabilize society Public security, promote socialist modernization with Chinese characteristics. Lend me two hundred dollars!
2. There is always one suitable for you: ugly but beautiful, poor but star-chasing. The young man prefers to stay at home, and the female man is crazy. A fool doesn't work hard, a lazy person hopes for the top. Fat women tend to be foodies, but being single is always pretentious.
3. There is always that person who will defeat you just by smiling at you. God replied: Like the head teacher outside the window?
4. When you are at home, you still have a fever. I kept surfing the Internet, and when I was in school, every time I sneezed, I thought it was terminal cancer.
5. People have searched for her thousands of times, and the path has been smoothed. Suddenly I looked back and looked around, there were countless aunts and ladies. Occasionally, there are beautiful women who come to visit, and some of them are married women. Most of the rest are basically unsightly.
6. I heard that placing a mobile phone under a pillow would cause radiation. I was so scared that I immediately threw the pillow away.
7. In the past, staying together was a couple, but now staying together is a mobile phone. Once the phone is in your hand, it will last forever. If the phone is not in your hand, your soul will be gone.
8. If you think you have a physical problem, please do not search on Baidu. Every time I check it, I want to make a will.
9. I can stay up late with you, and I will also advise you to go to bed early, but the best situation is for us to sleep together.
10. Now you are looking for Prince Charming, you are out, now you are looking for Prince BMW.
11. I cannot stretch the length of life, but I can expand the width of life. I look thin to you when I am fat, so as not to look ugly to you when I am thin.
12. When I was a child, my mother kindly said to me: Good boy, if you learn this skill, you will never starve to death for the rest of your life. So my mother taught me how to eat
13. Breaking up is boring, let’s play divorce if we can
14. In fact, I was quite thin when I was a child, not fat at all, but later I said no more Food has ruined my life.
15. My ex-boyfriend was getting married and he called me to ask if I would go. I replied decisively with three words: I will go next time.
16. We eloped in spring and autumn, and summer came to secretly kiss me with ice cream!
17. During the period when I am not with you, hurry home after leaving the house. , don’t be too late. To be honest, there are always people stealing dogs at night. I’m afraid something will happen to you.
18. I originally planned to lose weight this year and become a lightning bolt, blinding your eyes. Unexpectedly, I became fat and became a wall of nuts, blocking your sight.
19. Some things, some people, some scenery, once they enter your eyes and enter your heart, even for a moment, they are eternal.
20. Top students show off their grades, goddesses show off selfies, wealthy people show off their wealth, and models show off their figures. I just want to bask in the sun, even if it rains every day!
21. I know you are all learning to drive, but now I don’t even dare to cross the road.
22. Remember to smile at all times, it will make you look like a psycho that cannot be messed with.
23. The high temperature in summer made me fully understand the greatness of that famous saying: Let the storm come more violently!
24. In summer, we have been together for so many years. , just because of this, can't you be accommodating and cool down more?!
25. Stop mentioning quitting smoking and drinking, you always lie to yourself.
26. When everyone is low-key, you can be high-key, but not out of tune
27. A woman’s life is naughty when she is a child, hunting for treasure when she grows up, working for gold, and digging for gold when she gets married. Mi, old, eliminated. Women, hurry up and do it while you are still young.
28. The current situation of most people is: they can’t study, they can’t play happily, they can’t sleep well, everything feels wrong, and they eat too much. A complete list of funny personalities with a sense of humor
1. Yuelao, please stop using inferior red threads to hold me up. They break every now and then.
2. I don’t know if any of you are like me. Do you like to close your eyes when sleeping?
3. When I was a child, I often wrote about helping an old lady cross the road. Thinking about it now, I was so brave at that time!
4. In fact, the flip phone has one biggest advantage - it will fall into two pieces if it falls to the ground.
5. These days, long faces are popular. Why? Because it’s photogenic.
6. If you don’t work hard when you are young, you will only have to drink the northwest wind when you are old.
7. One bed cannot accommodate two men, unless one man and one woman.
8. Boss, boss, you are really good. I treat you as a human being. You can imitate pig braying for me.
9. When you meet the right person at the right time, that’s the end of the world. kind of happiness. Meeting the wrong person at the wrong time is a sigh.
10. It is easy to die but too difficult to live.
11. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.
12. Why are you showing off to me? Do you think you are a color palette?
13. Every girl is an angel who never sheds tears. Why did you let me break my wings?
14. My future mother-in-law, please release your daughter to me quickly. Let’s get to know each other.
15. The most painful thing in the world is to be woken up by peeing while sleeping soundly.
16. What makes me feel proud and proud is that so far, the earth is still stepped on by my feet.
17. Don’t think too much after falling. Get up first.
18. The person burning incense is not necessarily a monk, it may also be a panda.
19. There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast!
20. Those who believe in fate follow fate, while those who do not believe in fate are dragged along by fate.
21. Have mercy on me! Give me a little love
22. I would rather be proud and moldy than fall in humble love!
23. It is impossible for people to bring money into the coffin, but money may bring people into the coffin.
24. Youth is like toilet paper. There is a lot of it, but it is not enough when you use it.
25. If you want to cry, cry well. However, after it is over, never think about it again and never cry again.
26. You can see the words I type on the screen, but you can’t see the tears I shed on the keyboard.
27. Fire can test gold, gold can test women, and women can test men.
28. Be happy while you are alive, because we will die for a long time.
29. Many times, I like others, but she doesn’t know; more often, I hurt others, but I don’t know.
30. House prices have risen and we have to share the house.
31. Diamonds are forever, but one will go bankrupt.
32. When I’m drunk, I won’t obey anyone, so I’ll hold on to the wall.
33. It’s all pirated gutter oil, so why pretend to be genuine?
34. If you don’t succeed in the exam, you will cheat
35. Life is just a blank piece of paper. In the end, I I soiled my own
36. You are so ugly and creative that you can be remade
37. If you say I 2, anyone who can understand me 2 means you Update 2
38. The teacher always likes to say during class: Classmates, pay attention, look at me
39. I have to admire my female friends, in such a cold day, Wear short shorts.
40. Some boys always think that girls are violent, but in fact they are in trouble.
41. I am smart and will never quarrel with you, because. I can never quarrel with you.
42. The Buddha said that color is emptiness, and emptiness is color. Tonight, I just want to take some time off
43. My wallet is like an onion, it makes me burst into tears every time I open it.
44. After drinking Sanlu milk powder, my waist is no longer sore, my legs are no longer painful, and my heart is no longer beating!
45. Don’t think that you have been abandoned by the world. The world has no time to care about you.
46. It’s noon on the hoeing day, and school is really hard. A small shabby book that only lasts an afternoon.
47. Grandpa said: I have watched Xinwen Lianbo for decades, but I still haven’t seen the finale.
48. The early bird catches the worm. When I get up at noon, I don’t have food to eat.
49. Promises are like women saying they want to lose weight. They often say it but it is difficult to keep it all. If they are all false
50. Sleeping is the artistic realm I have always pursued. Please don’t stop me from pursuing art. Funny personality quotes with a sense of humor
1. Uncle, you look great, just like a stick
2. Because I used to be too heart-warming, so I did it Now heartless.
3. Don’t talk English to me. I am a mixed-race Chinese and American woman, can you not understand me?
4. Not every cow has Deluxe, and not every dad is Li Gang.
5. I have never regretted it. If you miss it, you will miss it. It is very charming. If you miss it, come again.
6. Dear comrades. I am already dead. I would rather throw myself into my grave than seek death.
7. It is virtue for a woman to be untalented. I must be too wicked.
8. I am not afraid of drinking dichlorvos, but I am afraid of surprises when I open the lid and enjoy one more bottle.
9. I think I am a madman, a madman who can't even grasp love.
10. Is it itchy? That's right. When the wound grows flesh, nerve endings also grow.
11. Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is for the dead.
12. Money is like shit, you will get it once you earn it
13. Others are pretending to be serious, but I can only pretend not to be serious.
14. My dear, you have to believe me. I feel dizzy even sitting on a boat, let alone riding two boats?
15. I was watching the commercial so well that a TV series suddenly popped up
16. I said, I am a filter, and everything that comes into my mouth is bleached! clear?
17. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes -
18. People cannot take money into the grave, but money can take people into the grave.
19. I am not a violent person. I don’t recognize people when I become violent
20. My old lover buried me in the deepest part of your heart. Miss me and miss me
21. Baby, baby - "I want to tell you a lifelong secret of virtue
22. You dress like this. Are you dissatisfied with this world?
23. I don’t miss anything, only when I make a huge mistake.
24. My mother actually showed mercy and said that she would help me provide yellow diamonds in the future. Oh my god, it turns out that I was dreaming again
25. Don’t brag, please give the awesome back to the awesome ones. Because cows also need sex
26. When I came to this world, I had no intention of going back alive
27. People say that long hair makes you short of knowledge, so I decided to cut my hair. short.
28. If you are unhappy, tell us to make everyone happy
29. In spring I planted a girlfriend, in autumn I harvested a bunch of men
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30. When looking at beauties on the street, if you look at them at a higher level, you are appreciating them; at a lower level, you are a gangster.
31. I am not a customer service staff. You have no right to ask me to answer this or that.
32. The promise you made to me is like cutting my mother with a knife. It will never be fulfilled.
33. If you scold me, continue to scold me. When the scolding is enough, give it to me. Let me tell you, I'm going to bed first!
34. My mother told me: If your husband bullies you, ask your grandfather to take him away.
35. People nowadays are following the trend. They all like to use deodorant socks to cover their mouths when talking.
36. It’s noon on hoeing day, so school is really hard. After entering the school, I was forced to stand all afternoon.
37. Dear friends, I really envy you for knowing me at such a young age
38. The teacher always likes to say during class: Classmates, please read Follow me
39. I have to admire my female friends for wearing short shorts on such a cold day.
40. No doubt, I am the poor man in your dream
41. If one day I go down. Remember, I'm coming for you.
42. Aren’t all men and women equal? ??Why can’t I go to the women’s restroom?
43. Brushing teeth is a mixture of joy and sorrow. Hold the cup in one hand and the washing utensil in the other
44. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!
45. If you use lies to verify lies, you will definitely get lies.
46. Don’t spend the money you make, just keep it to wipe your butt.
47. The talented man who reads at night looks forward to the female ghost, and the bachelor old man looks forward to the aunt;
48. Ultraman is a ball, Zhu Bajie is the cutest
49. Since the reform and opening up, my weight has gone up.
50. You don’t need to say anything, I understand everything. Do you want to say that my sister is beautiful?
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