What mistakes do most women who are not "cherished" make?

Every woman has her own longing for love, but women are often too emotional in relationships. The more they focus, the more blind they become, and the more they invest, the more excessive they become. As investment costs increase, Deeply trapped in feelings and unable to extricate themselves.

There is a popular saying on the Internet: ?My whole life I long to be collected, properly placed, and carefully preserved. Save me from shock, save me from suffering, save me from wandering around, save me from having no branches to rely on. ?This is probably the emotional expectation of all women, but the reality is like the last sentence? But that person, I know, I always know, he will never come. ?

Women spend their whole lives pursuing the love and affection that is unique to them, but things go against their wishes and they are repeatedly frustrated on the road of love. Sometimes unhappiness means not meeting the right person, and sometimes unhappiness means not meeting the right person. Happiness means not knowing how to manage.

In terms of subjective and objective factors, women always like to attribute problems to men, while ignoring their own emotional deficiencies. Most women who are not "cherished" have made three fatal mistakes. .

1. Unbalanced Emotional Status

The various connections between people are called certain relationships, and the establishment of relationships depends on each other's 'Reaching an agreement', no one can establish love unilaterally, and the key point of establishing a love relationship is actually to balance the feelings rationally.

The balance of the emotional relationship helps both parties continue to move forward. Just like a boat on the lake, it can only move steadily if it reaches a balanced state. If one party tilts, it will eventually sink to the bottom of the lake.

Many women over-pay and sacrifice too much in their relationships. Without waiting for equal and positive feedback, the relationship is actually out of balance.

In the TV series "The Temptation of Wife", Lin Pinru's emotional status was unequal from the moment she married into the Hong family. This was due to the huge difference in family background between her husband's family and her natal family, which caused her mother-in-law to dislike herself.

In addition, while living as a couple, Lin Pinru was more like a nanny, coming and going as soon as she was called. She did not get the respect of her mother-in-law and the love of her husband.

In this kind of emotional relationship, the more a woman gives, the more she will be looked down upon by the "benefited" person. The unequal emotional status itself produces a kind of abnormal love. An emotional life that is not grateful, does not know how to care, and is unwilling to give back will naturally not be cherished.

2. Strong Hedgehog Effect in Emotions

Some women are born or acquired insecure, and when they encounter love, they always worry about gains and losses, have too many doubts, and When the brain generates this kind of feedback, it will also initiate the behavior of "imprisoning" the other party.

This kind of behavior not only includes space restrictions, but also includes restraints on the other person’s spirit. However, it is often too restrictive and demanding for a man’s life. Instead, it is self-defeating because of his own deep affection.

In the TV series "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun lives a leisurely and comfortable life as a full-time wife. She fulfills the saying "My husband is outside making money to support the family, and I am responsible for looking beautiful." Every day, her life is to eat, drink and dress up everywhere. .

But at the same time, she also has a strong sense of crisis in her marriage. She is afraid of the various young and beautiful women around her husband and regards them as her imaginary enemies. She always interferes in her husband's work for this reason, which is excessive. Seeking security while ignoring the needs of her husband.

Under the "heavy pressure" and incomprehension given by Luo Zijun, the considerate Ling Ling walked into his heart, and their marriage eventually broke down.

The hedgehog effect is proposed in psychology. Two hedgehogs hug each other to keep each other warm, but they find that they prick each other until they are dripping with blood. There is also a hedgehog effect in emotions. If you get too close to each other, there will be no personal space. In the end, it will only amplify and intensify conflicts. There will be no way to express emotions, and each other will be hurt.

Love requires distance. The tighter a woman pushes a man, it will not only make the other man breathless but also produce a strong feeling of boredom. The relationship a man wants is a comfortable state. Any man No one wants to be restrained in their relationship, and everyone needs a suitable safe distance.

3. The way of thinking of losing self-investment

Guo Jingjing and Huo Qigang are called by netizens as "the most low-key couple of wealthy families". They live happily after marriage and make others envious. Guo Jingjing She has always been held in the palm of her husband's hand and cherished very much.

At the beginning, Huo Qigang was chasing Guo Jingjing, and he would be present in every game, carrying a camera and taking pictures. However, under such circumstances, instead of rushing to marry into a wealthy family after retiring, Guo Jingjing chose to I went abroad to study for several years.

While abroad, she began a special period of self-growth, constantly enriching her life. She did not regard marrying a rich family as a dream, but regarded love and marriage as the whole life. Her determination It even impressed my husband.

Her important step is to please herself and invest in herself. In front of the media, she once confidently said, "There are many wealthy families, but there is only one Olympic champion." ''A woman who is confident in herself and loves herself will not have bad luck.

In short, if a woman wants to gain equal love in a relationship, she must first build it on her own self-worth. They all say that love is an exchange of equal value, and everyone gets what they need, and only then can they get what they need. Only when a woman has the confidence to be loved can she be truly cherished by a man.