Let me briefly talk about the difference between dominant n and recessive n:

How to distinguish invisible npd from avoidance?

Let me briefly talk about the difference between dominant n and recessive n:

Explicit n exaggerates, or accuses others from above, and always shows superiority and is used to looking down on others with an arrogant attitude. It is easy to make people feel uncomfortable.

On the contrary, recessive N is often gentle and humble, humorous, steady and practical, and feels easy to get along with.

Therefore, it is not difficult to find that there are overlapping points between recessive N and avoidance type, such as:

1. Hidden inferiority complex

Some lovers will capture each other's inferiority, such as inadvertently revealing "unworthiness" and "excessively caring about other people's eyes". Some lovers will feel that ta is confident and proud, and can't see inferiority. But if you just show "a trace" of denial/questioning, the other party will be angry and seem to be greatly hurt. Or dare not face the Excellence of your lover and be stingy with praise. In fact, this is a hidden inferiority complex. External high self-esteem is just a soap bubble blown carefully, which will be punctured if you are not careful.

2. The requirements are distorted.

They also fantasize that everything is perfect, including lovers. But if lovers are better than them and have higher value, they will aggravate this inferiority complex and become jealous lovers, trying to "destroy" this Excellence through destructive behavior. However, once the value of lovers becomes lower, they will feel that the other person is not worthy of themselves.

The differences between the two are as follows:

1. Different social circles

Implicit n treats friends with a clear purpose and needs narcissistic support. If their demands are not met, they would rather close the channels of making friends.

Generally, 1 or two good friends are avoiding. To be a good friend, you must have years of understanding as the foundation. Even if they don't often contact/show little emotion, in their hearts, these friends are real friends different from ordinary social activities.

2. Initial camouflage

Implicit n has no narcissistic material capital and no advantages to show off, so it will package itself with popular quality in the market. The purpose is to get people hooked.

At the beginning of avoidance, they will also pretend to be close to each other and make them like/dislike each other. Usually, they don't think this disguised person is attractive because they think "hard value and hard power" are attractive.

Expose weakness

Implicit n will emphasize their own bad to get attention (explicit n is the kind of explicit suppression that no one is better than me), and in order to gain sympathy/love and suck blood, they will pretend to be weak and pitiful.

It's better not to have a relationship than to avoid being most afraid of exposing vulnerability. They disdain crying about being poor and selling bad things, which is equivalent to exposing "I am poor."

4. Demand for lovers

Some people say that the hidden n is like a frozen snake. If you heat it, it will bite you. Satisfy narcissistic needs through lover's pain.

Escape is like a dying tortoise. If you keep it, it may be afraid of shrinking. If you want it to come out, you must create a safe environment. Without environment, it will shrink.

Npd needs a steady stream of blood bags to meet the needs of narcissism. If you stop, he will definitely make a move. Avoidance requires security and acceptance.