rich joke

1. Songkran Festival

During the Songkran Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless them. Suddenly a man scolded: Shit, who spilled water on me? Others advised that throwing you is a blessing.

Don't do that, the curse said. Who threw boiling water at me?

Waiting for the bus

I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So I chased it and shouted, "Master, wait!" "

Me, master, wait for me! ......"

This is a passenger sticking his head out of the window and saying to me, "Wukong, stop chasing."

3. What a shame

Outside the delivery room of the hospital, a group of men are waiting to be new fathers. A nurse hurried out of the delivery room and said to one of them

"Congratulations, your wife is born!"

Another man threw his cigarette butt on the ground, jumped up and shouted, "How dare you! I got there before him. Why hasn't it been my turn yet? "

give/have an acupuncture treatment

A Jia went to the hospital for a health check-up, and the nurse took a needle to draw blood for him. A Jia looked at the shiny needle and couldn't help asking, "Will it hurt?" I'm afraid of pain! The nurse said, "Don't worry, I have been a nurse for more than 20 years." ... "Someone said," Great, I'm relieved! "Then the nurse put the needle down and only heard a scream like killing a pig. The nurse slowly connected:" It doesn't hurt. "

Outoutwit oneself

In the bar, George is drinking beer alone. He suddenly felt that he was going to the bathroom. He was afraid that someone would steal his beer after he left, so he wrote a note on the table: "I spit in the cup." When he came back, he found another sentence added to the paper: "I threw up, too." . . .

6.it's too loud

Zhuge Liang is a master of eight stunts, one of which is ventriloquism. It is said that Zhuge Liang discussed with Liu Bei in his account this day. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. I'm really sorry. He had a brainwave and said, "Master, how about I call you a woodpecker to adjust the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang imitated the woodpecker and barked twice, then took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't see it. "

7.

There is an ugly girl who has never been married and hopes to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gnashed his teeth and said, go! No car!

8. In Spring Festival travel rush, the train was so crowded that a gentleman stuck his ass out of the window when he stopped. The inspector at the bottom of the car found it and shouted: the fat man with the cigar pulled his head back.

9. I saw a penny on the side of the road, and I was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. I *, his niang of, who spit so round?

10. In a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and there stood a farmer in Tanaka, his clothes were torn and his face was dark. He said with tears in his eyes, stealing a cabbage is worth shelling?

1 1. Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count off!" " "So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree!

12. The weather is hot and cold, so it's hard to calm down this season. I always miss you in the distance. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head!

13.

One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I don't think you can fucking pay for it!

14. A village woman went to town for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet. She didn't meet for a long time, so she asked the policeman, Comrade, there is a public toilet in front. Where is the mother toilet?

15. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered to him, "Sweetheart!" "The patient smiled and said," baby. "

16. An old friend lost his car. When he put the new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: let you steal it! The next day, the car was not lost, and two locks and a piece of paper were added, which read: Let you ride!

17. The teacher asked the physical education committee to make sure that all the girls in the class were here, so he said to him, "Go and clean up all the girls in the class." The Sports Commission was a little goat and asked, "Which one?" Teacher @ # ... ￥%

18. In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation, rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……

Doctor: "actually, it is very simple to check whether a person is insane." 」

Reporter: "How to check? 」

Doctor: "Just ask him 1+ 1 =? Do it. 」

Reporter: "Oh, normal people will definitely say 2! 」

Doctor: "no, they will call me an idiot." 」

The new dean of the madhouse walked up to a patient and asked him why he was in the madhouse.

"Doctor, it is like this. I married a widow with an adult daughter. My father married my daughter, so my wife became my father-in-law's mother-in-law, and my daughter became my stepdaughter and stepmother. My stepmother gave birth to a son, who became the grandson of my brother and my wife. I also have a son who became his grandfather's brother-in-law and his uncle's uncle. On the other hand, when the father mentioned his grandson, he said he was a brother-in-law, and the son called his sister grandma. Now I think I am my mother's father, my grandson's brother, my wife is the daughter of her son-in-law and her grandson's sister. Now I don't know if I am my grandfather, my brother's father or my son's nephew, because my son is my father's brother-in-law. Dean, that's why I'm here. I think it is calmer here than at home. 」

Xiaoming is an intern in a mental hospital. One day, a patient chased him with a kitchen knife for no reason. Xiaoming turned and ran away in fear until he came to a dead end. He thought, "This time, you will die ..." At this time, the patient suddenly spoke and said, "You can have the kitchen knife until you chase me! 」

Miracles in the madhouse

The assistant ran into the dean's office and said excitedly, "Dean! This is a miracle in the madhouse! Paul actually saved Jimmy's life in the same ward! " "oh? What's wrong? " The dean asked. "Jimmy tried to drown in the bathtub just now, but Paul pulled him out." The assistant explained. The dean was very happy: "It seems that Paul has returned to normal. Bring him to me quickly! " "After a while, Paul came to the dean's office." Paul, judging from your performance, you have completely returned to normal. You have done a very heroic thing, and you can leave the hospital tomorrow. "The dean said earnestly. Then the assistant ran into the office in a panic: "No, Jimmy hanged himself in the bathroom again! """This suicidal maniac!" The dean whispered. "He didn't hang himself, I just wanted to fuck him." Paul interjected.

The new nurse in the mental hospital, this woman is new,

I saw a patient in the hospital walking around an ancient well and said, "13, 13, ..." The little nurse was quite surprised and couldn't figure out what this "13" meant. It was like this for several days. She always wanted to go forward and ask the truth, but she was afraid of the patient's attack and never dared.

One day, the little nurse finally lost her curiosity, walked slowly to the patient and looked into the well with her probe. Suddenly, the patient hugged the nurse's leg, threw it down and began to read: "14, 14, ..."

A patient went to see a doctor for the first time.

"Did you consult anyone about your illness before you came here?" The doctor asked.

"Just ask the owner of the drugstore around the corner," the patient replied.

Doctors hate that people who are not doctors often give medical advice. He made no secret of this: "What bad idea did that fool give you?"

"He asked me to come to you."

In a mental hospital, a patient is writing a letter. When the nurse saw it, she asked him curiously.

Nurse: Who are you going to write to?

Patient: Write it to myself!

Nurse: Then what do you write?

Patient: You are mentally ill! I haven't received it. How do I know?

The mental hospital hired a teacher for the patients to teach art. The dean is very concerned about it. He repeatedly urged doctors and patients not to neglect the teacher, so the class began. As soon as the young female teacher stepped onto the platform, she got very warm applause. The teacher was very excited: "Students, we are going to learn sketch today."

After that, he bowed, turned and drew an apple on the blackboard, and then said to the patient, "What did you say it was?"

There was a chorus from the podium: "Ass."

"What ~ ~ ~ Say it again!"

"Still ass."

The young female teacher, who had never seen anything like this, ran to the dean's office in tears and said to the dean, "I can't stay here."

The dean asked why, and the teacher said you should go and have a look.

The dean trotted all the way to the classroom and scolded as soon as he entered the door: "You rabble dare to be angry with the teacher and don't want to eat!"

Then look back: "Who is this, draw an ass on the blackboard!" " "

There is a mental hospital.

There is a patient lying in a hospital bed singing.

Singing very happily ~

But suddenly I got up singing.

Then continue to sing on your stomach.

So the doctor felt very strange ~

So I asked him, "You are singing, why do you want to get up and sing on your stomach?"? 」

The patient replied: "After singing A face, I have to change B face! 」

A patient came to see a psychiatrist.

Patient: I always thought I was a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start?

Patient: Because I am a bird.

2) The doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?

The patient replied, then I can't hear you.

The doctor listened: mm-hmm. It is normal.

The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again?

The patient replied, then I won't watch it.

The doctor is getting nervous. How could he not see it?

The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.

3) There are two mental patients who escaped from the hospital.

They run and run. They climbed a tree.

One of them jumped from the tree.

Go away, go away.

Then he looked up and said to the man above, hey-why don't you come down?

The man above answered him: no-good-ah-

I'm not familiar with it.

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wear black clothes and hold a black umbrella every day.

Squatting in front of a mental hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor was dressed in black, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two spent a month in silence.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

Excuse me-

Are you a mushroom, too

5) A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called a meeting of patients in the hospital at the meeting, and the dean

The sermon said: "this afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and everyone should go to the door to meet them." When welcoming, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone should clap together. The more enthusiastic the better; When I stamp my foot, I have to stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, I can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat steamed buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!"

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the dean's cough, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leader was infected by the warm atmosphere, smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing the leader enter the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, which was very neat. Only the leaders smiled and applauded.

Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader and turned around.

Gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily-"You don't want to eat steamed bread? ! ! ! "

6) A mental patient asked B, "What do you think of my recently completed novel?" ?

B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, there are more characters. " .

Then the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" " "

7) The doctor in a mental hospital should talk to a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones.

When the doctor heard about it, he found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. After a few months, the doctor felt that the patient seemed to be able to leave the hospital and decided to talk to him again.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: Get a job.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Making money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Save money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Marry a wife.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: The bridal chamber.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her clothes.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her pants.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her underwear.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take out the rubber band in your underwear, make a slingshot and find some stones to smash all the windows in your hospital.

8) Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will take him to the hospital at once."

Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Great, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning." "Come on, send him here quickly!" A gentleman was silent for a moment: "So … I don't have a toilet?"

9) In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? "

10) There is a mental hospital where many mental patients live.

One day, the dean was there. In order to see the recovery of the patients, he thought of a way and said to these patients:

You all come and say, draw a door on the wall and say, "Today, whoever opens this door can go home."

As soon as psychopaths heard this, they flocked around the painted door. The dean was very disappointed. At this time, he found a patient still sitting in the original position, feeling ok. He stepped forward and asked, "Why don't you open the door?"

He looked at what the dean said and made the dean laugh and cry.

The patient secretly told the dean, "I have the key here."

1 1) Mental patients in hospitals often have a good impression on doctors or nurses.

One day, a female patient came to see a male doctor. ...

Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you love me?

Dr. Lan pondered for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient and avoid the deterioration of his condition)

Dr. Lan: We have a doctor-patient relationship. Because you are ill, I must take good care of you. ...

In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time and finally finished. )

Female patient: Dr. Lan, you mean you don't love me anymore?

Dr. Lan (brooding): Hmm … hmm … hmm …

Female patient: Nothing … I love Dr. Chen …

One day, the devil took the princess away and she kept screaming.

Demon: You can scream ... no one will come to save you. ....

Princess: broken throat ... broken throat ..

Nobody: Princess ... I'm coming to save you. ...

Devil: Speak of the devil and he will come. ...

Cao Cao: Demon .. What do you want me to do? ..

Demon: Wow ... seeing a ghost.

Ghost: Shit! Has been discovered. ..

Shit: Ghost, you can see me. ...

Oh, my God!

God: Who called me?

Who: Nobody called you. ...

Nobody: I didn't? Play dumb!

Garlic: Who is pretending to be me?

Who: Me again? Are you looking for trouble?

Angry: which one is looking for me?

Which one: looking for you? I didn't ... Gee, there are so many people here.

Many people: just arrived ... who are you?

Which one: I'm not who.

Who: He's not me.

Princess: Is everyone here to save me?

Everyone: I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun.

Lively: What do I have to see?

God: It's none of my business. Let's go first.

Devil: You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? I am a demon.

How did Wang play?

Go on: if you don't do it, what shall I do?

Princess: If no one plays the devil, I can go.

Nobody: If I play the devil, how can I let you go? ...

How come: I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the excitement.

Lively: What are you looking at me for?

What: You want to fuck me? Rogue!

How dare you: I didn't?

Me: What's it to me?

Demon: Shit! I'm going crazy. ......

Shit: What am I doing? ...

Crazy: What do you want me to do?

You want me to: I know nothing!

I don't know anything: how should I know!

How do I know: I'm here! Is someone calling me?

Someone: I didn't call you!

I didn't: Who called him?

Who: Wrong ... I didn't. ...

I didn't: I didn't wronged you. ...

You: I dare you.

I dare you: who says I dare not! ?

Who: Please ... I didn't say anything.

I have nothing: what do you want me to say?

I am nothing: ... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?

Long-lost brother: Wow ... My name is very long ... I will be summoned.

ah ...

Who: ... I want to leave this troublesome place as soon as possible

True or false: So this is my territory. ...

I am nothing &; No: Stop arguing. We're talking. ...

Leave us alone: I won't talk. ...

I didn't: I didn't speak! ...

I am nothing:-_-\ \ ... Let's go out and talk. ...

Go: I'm sorry ... (wriggling)

I have nothing: it's none of your business ... flash ... (two brothers go out angrily)

None of your business: whoops ... why did you kick me out? ...

Why: I don't want to kick you out ... Be obedient ... Don't cry.

I didn't: Oh ... What does it have to do with me?

None of my business: what? Did anyone call me?

Someone: Who wants to call you? ...

Who: I really have to go ... T.T.

Go: I'm really embarrassed ... *v.v* (who fell to the ground)

None of your business: ... aren't you my cousin?

It's none of my business: ... cousins of the same age (or cousins) ... long time no see. ...

Long time: I'm not here. ...

Devil: Are you finished?

Endless: he doesn't have me.

You: I don't have him.

Me: Who said that?

Who: What should I do?

Really? Do you want to fuck me?

You: I won't fuck him.

Me: Who said I wouldn't?

Who: Wrong! I didn't say ...

Say: What am I doing?

Really? You two are shameless!

You two: I want it! I want it!

Face: Who wants me?

Who: I don't want it.

Demon: Hurry up, or I'll kill someone.

Man: Kill me? Looking for k

Kathy: Who wants to see me?

Who: ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Don't mention my name, mention me again!

He: Don't blame me.

Me: Who wants me?

Who: I finally caught one. Kill it. ...

One: Don't arrest me.

Me: I've had enough, too. If anyone mentions my name again, I will never let you go!

Who: Look at my eighteen hands!

Me: Look at my nine yin bones and claws!

Eighteen palms of the dragon: what do I want to see?

Jiuyin Bai Gujing: What do I have to see?

What's there to see: Brother, I finally found you!

What's there to see: Brother, let's go out and talk.

Devil: This is an engagement party. ...

From then on, the devil really got schizophrenia ...

-

1. When I was a child, the TV series Hunters and Rogue Tycoons was released. An old woman in the yard said, "There will be a big rogue hunter tonight."

An unfamiliar colleague chatted with me, and the content of the chat was extremely boring. What happened to him and his girlfriend? What happened?

I was speechless. After he spoke for a long time, he looked at me. Maybe it means that I have to make a statement after what he said.

In an instant, I really didn't know what to say, so I blurted out: Is your girlfriend a woman?

I have had a cold for a long time! ! ! !

3. When the junior high school teacher talked about the ancient Babylonian civilization and the Sumerians, the history teacher excitedly said that "there are Shu and beauty in the two river basins", and more than half of them laughed on the spot.

4. Buy a pot helmet and have dinner together. A man comes forward: Boss, two helmets!

Good teeth, good appetite and delicious food. . . )

There is a classmate named Huang Jiajian in my high school class.

One day, I didn't go to class. When the old class came into the classroom, I saw that his seat was empty.

Just asked: Hey, where's Huang Jiajian?

After the whole class laughed, they all called him Huang Gupo.

6. In the past, the exam teacher handed out papers, and the girls at the back took one more and shouted "Teacher, I have it, I have it". As a result, the boy sitting next to me said, "It's mine, it's mine", and the whole class was shocked ~ ~ ~

I worked in a factory two years ago. One day, my master and I (actually older than me 1 year) went to the factory to handle affairs. The material engineer is an elder sister surnamed Dong, in her forties. After that, the host was very polite and wanted to say, "Sister Dong, you go." The result is: "I see."

8. Another time, I went to buy breakfast and found that my usually unsmiling boss was also waiting in line. I was very nervous. After greeting, I summoned up my courage and said to the chef, "Master, please give me a steamed stuffed bun and two breasts!" " ~

~ ~ ~ Woo ~ ~ It's the first time in two years to hear the boss laugh so loudly ~ ~ ~ Depressed ~ ~ ~

9. My friend's child is half a year old, so I'm calling to care. After a few commonplaces, I said: Does your child eat human milk or yours now?

10. One night, I met an acquaintance and said, "Good morning." ...

1 1. In the evening, a roommate came into the room and announced loudly, "I watched the midnight edition of The American Ring today!"

12. I went to buy watermelons that day and heard someone ask the melon seller: Does your watermelon have skin?

13. A farmer was drying wheat in the yard, and several chickens came to peck at it. The farmer sweeps it, the chicken scratches it, then sweeps it and scratches it. I can't take it anymore. I cursed, "you bad thing, I scratch, you sweep, I scratch, you sweep."

14. One day I went shopping and I was in a hurry. I found an internet cafe in front, rushed into the door and shouted at the stationmaster: Where is the toilet in your toilet?

15. When I bought rice in the canteen, I saw the long-awaited tofu skin. When I was excited, I told the waiter that I wanted a potato skin, which surprised everyone around me.

16. Due to business trip, I have to go to the Bank of China somewhere to repair the equipment. After getting out of the hotel and taking a taxi, I said to the female driver, "Go to the Bank of China and buy a knife at a hardware store." Sweat! I was going to buy a screwdriver. I didn't notice that I was wrong. At this time, the female driver kept looking at me and said, "Big Brother, I'm going to get off work. Please find a new taxi. " At that time, I was very angry and said, "What car did you stop at the hotel after work?" ! ? The female driver looked at me and said, "I don't want the fare after buying the knife. Please find another one. "dizzy! ! ! Only then did I realize that I was wrong, and I quickly explained it for a long time. Now that I think about it, I feel sorry for the female driver.

17. The political teacher once said, "Let me give you an example." Then he felt wrong and said, "Give me an example."

18. I remember it in Hanwu the Great.

Zhang Qian came back from the Western Regions with new ironmaking materials.

A good sword was refined and Liu Che took it to Li Guang.

Li Guang kept repeating:

Your majesty, good sword (base), your majesty, good sword (base) ...

silent ...

19. What a nice donkey!

20. In junior high school, the teacher asked the translator who this person was.

A classmate translated: Whose man is this? The whole class laughed and the teacher was speechless.

2 1. Last time I went to McDonald's, I told the clerk that I wanted a bag of potato chips, but they saidno. I said, what store doesn't even have potato chips? Then I turned and left. . .

22. During the mid-term exam, there was a pant-shaped pencil box on the girl's desk behind me. As soon as I turned around, my pencil box fell off. I said, "Well, you dropped your pants."

23. I remember there was a dog in Lu Yu, and nearby MM shouted in surprise: Ah, there is no dog in that tail! !

23. Too much butt.

24. I remember when I was a child, I went to buy round plastic bullets for toy guns and directly said to the old man in the toy store: buy a pack of original (round) bullets!

25. My classmate explained to me how to make an inquiry call.

I wanted to ask if it was a real person or a voice who answered the phone over there. I said, "Is it a living person or a dead person who answered the phone?"

26. Carry a lot of things and gg to find a place to store bags at the train station.

A policeman came face to face, and gg immediately stepped forward and asked politely, "Excuse me, how can I get to the place where the bag is buried?"

27. In the political class, I talked about political issues between China and Japan, and talked about Japanese samurai committing suicide by caesarean section.

The teacher said, "Japanese samurai were all delivered by caesarean section before they died ~ ~ ~"

28. I once called a customer named Wang, and the switchboard was answered by a MM, with a sweet voice. She told me his extension number. I didn't know if the king I was looking for was a man or a woman, so I asked by the way, "Is he a man or a woman?"

29. In college, one of my classmates just bought a mobile phone and got a mobile card. He called 1860 to ask about it. At that time, he was excited: May I ask about your mobile phone business? . . From hands-free, we actually heard the telephone operator say politely: We are moving to bring business. . . The whole dormitory burst into laughter.

30. In the eleventh year of junior year, my classmates went to work in a shopping mall selling fish. The guest took the selected fish, and my classmate gently pointed to the fish killing platform and said to him:

"You in the past, someone will kill you. . . "

3 1. Yesterday someone said he would introduce me to a girlfriend. I wanted to ask "is it good?" but it turned out to be "cheap." Sweating to death!

32. The teacher told us: "Be honest in the car for the spring outing, and don't always throw your head and arms out. . . "

33. My husband is thin. Once I was in a hurry and said, "Honey, you look as thin as a pig!" "

34. One day, I went to the famous Da Qiao Road food store in Tianjin to buy food. I want to buy an old lady cake almost every time! As a result, I saw a slightly smaller cake that looked basically the same, but I was not sure, so I asked my assistant aunt, "Is this the cake of the little old woman?"

As a result, the audience is neither humble nor supercilious.

35. My cousin runs a kindergarten. Once she was in a hurry and asked me to help her take care of the children 1 hour, play games and tell stories. Facing a dozen children for the first time, I was so nervous that I was tongue-tied: "Children, today my aunt told you a story about Aladdin and the Magic Lamp ..."

36.

Outward depression

stretch into ....

37.

Original broadcast: Two gangsters wounded me and fled 1 10 police.

The announcer read: Two gangsters wounded 1 10 police and fled.

(Huang Feihong reincarnated! )

38.

In high school, my brother and I were in the same class, and he sat behind me.

One night, our geography teacher asked us:

Which one of you is the elder sister? Who is the younger brother?

I stayed there.

39.

Once I bought cold rice noodles and went back to my dormitory. I went to another dormitory and found my roommate eating my cold rice noodles.

When they saw me coming back, one of them said to me, why did you come back? Cold rice noodles are getting cold!

40.

I wanted to drink soda that day, so I went to the cold drink stand and said a bottle of soda. Unexpectedly, when I saw the beer in front of me, I said in a hurry, "Boss, have a bottle of fart water", boss. ...........

4 1.

Just now, a colleague read the newspaper and asked, "How many games did China win yesterday?"

China is one, but Singapore can't produce negative numbers.

In the past, there was a game called "a handful of dollars" on the red and white machine. We usually call it "John in the wilderness".

43. Some commentators: Rush out of Asia and the world!

44. Once, my husband and I quarreled, and he scolded me: "Pig!" I scolded him: "You are the husband of a pig. . . "I really feel like a pig after scolding.

45. One of our colleagues, when taking the driver's license test, said a classic sentence to the examiner:

Report instrument, examiner is normal ~ ~ ~ ~

46. I remember once, I went to KFC with a sister. I heard her muttering in the queue, a chicken leg burger and a pair of chicken wings. It is her turn. As soon as she opens her mouth, she laughs at everyone. She wanted to say "Miss, a chicken leg hamburger", but it turned out to be "a calf, a hamburger".

47. College students get together in the forest park. It's time for everyone to prepare dinner. Two boys volunteered to go to the canteen to buy beer. The monitor wants to remind them to buy beer and cans. Perhaps because they have been talking about international current affairs just now, the monitor stood up and shouted, "Beer should belong to Iraq."

We all fell. Two boys are crazy. . .

48.MM told me about KFC's new "bone-to-bone connection" (mutton kebabs are crisp) and asked me to take her to eat. It was extremely hot in Beijing these days, and I was in a daze. When I arrived at the restaurant, I said to the smiling Miss KFC: Please give me two "flesh and blood", thank you! .............

Shame-_-!

49. Once, my classmate asked me which department of the hospital my other classmate lived in. I can't remember clearly. I feel like internal medicine and acupuncture. As a result, I said she was a "guilt department".

50.

A boy saw his uncle: "buy two dishes for uncle!" " "

Uncle: "This kid is so boastful that he can't even talk!" " "

5 1.

When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl (the horrible kind). When the secretary of our League branch presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students …" The rest of the students laughed their heads off.

52. A classmate called a friend's house and his grandfather answered it. The classmate didn't know what he was thinking, so he said, "Grandpa, I'm grandma ..."

I want to dedicate this book to my talented wife, without whom I can accomplish nothing. She comforted me when I was in pain; When I failed, she gave me confidence.

She never complains. She has intervened in my career since she was eight years old. She never asks questions or comments. She always silently endures the hardships of life. . . (Author's Note-Special thanks to my wife for preface to this book)