My mother-in-law separated me from my husband before we even got married.

Every woman hopes to marry a good husband, but you have to know that a good mother-in-law is also very important. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most delicate relationship in China. The mother-in-law loves her son too much and is afraid of mistreating him. So how should you get along with your mother-in-law? Let's take a look.

Innocent Love

When I met Wang Yu, I didn’t know that he was one year younger than me, but love came unexpectedly. I don't really care about the age gap, but this is one of the reasons why Wang Yu's mother strongly opposed us. Wang Yu is 1.8 meters tall, and I am exactly 1.6 meters tall. He is a college student and I am just a cashier in the hotel. There are too many reasons. In short, his mother is interested in his family friend, Wang Yu's former female colleague, and Chen Mei, who is elegant and sensible and now works in Shenzhen.

Wang’s mother called me more than once, saying that I was a grown-up girl and hoped that I could treat Wang Yu as a younger brother and treat him well instead of focusing on their family’s environment. Every time I hear these harsh words, I can't help but hold my breath and get angry. But when I saw Wang Yu desperately insisting on picking me up from get off work in the middle of the night, quarreling with his mother, and giving me money to help me start a business, I always felt soft-hearted and returned it to him obediently.

On Sunday morning, the time has pointed to 11 o'clock. Wang Yu, who promised to help me buy things, hasn't come yet. What happened? I called, but no one answered. If I call again, my phone goes off.

For three consecutive days, Wang Yu had no news from me for no reason. I was so worried that I had to call his cousin Rosa and ask her to help me figure it out. In the afternoon, Rosa came to the store. "Sister Xiaoguo, there is no one in Wang Yu's family. My name is Meng Yu. She said Wang Yu went out, but she refused to say where."

My mother set a trap.

My heart was in suspense and my mind was in confusion. The next afternoon, as I was about to go out, Mother Wang suddenly came uninvited. "I'm here to apologize for my son today. He was young and ignorant and was too impulsive. You see, now he is too embarrassed to say goodbye, so he has to let me, the mother, do it for him." After saying that, she went straight to Went into the back room. "Oh, by the way, I'm here to help him pack his luggage. He will never appear here again."

I stood quietly, tears silently flowing down my cheeks, breaking up? Does this refer to Wang Yu's or his mother's? If his mother is in the way, where is he hiding now? I persisted for two years and never thought it would end like this. Was Wang Yu's original promise to me really all deception and lies?

On the fifth day after losing contact with Wang Yu, I accidentally left my phone on the bus. After learning from this painful experience, I simply changed my phone number, determined to forget the past and start over.

On the morning of June 2, before getting up, the rolling shutter door downstairs banged. I went downstairs and opened the door, but it was Wang Yu. He stood outside and refused to come in. "Xiaoguo, forgive me, I was deceived." As if the newly healed wound was opened again, I lowered my head and turned back to the store.

"Xiaoguo, this was all arranged by my mother." It turned out that Wang Yu was scolded by his mother after he came home from my tea shop on Saturday night. Finally, she suddenly mentioned Wang Yu’s work. She said that a friend of her father's had opened an Internet company in Shenzhen and was short of manpower. I hope he can go there. Wang Yu thought of me and refused on the spot. "That's it, let's make a one-year agreement. If you can stand in Shenzhen within a year and let us two old people see your ability to be independent, I will no longer interfere with you and Xiaoguo's affairs. "You can take her to Shenzhen." This is the only chance. Although hesitant, Wang Yu was still willing to give it a try.

When Wang Yu took out his mobile phone to contact me, his mother snatched it away. "But this year, you can't get in touch. Let's see if your relationship can stand the test."

Early the next morning, before Wang Yu got up, Wang's mother had already helped him pack his luggage. Bought him a ticket. Without a mobile phone, Wang Yu boarded the train going south alone. However, when he searched according to the address written by his mother, he was surprised to find that the so-called dormitory address left by his mother turned out to be Chen Mei's residence, a house with three bedrooms and one living room. Chen Mei and he each share a room! Isn't this obviously an opportunity for them to develop feelings?

Can't find a way out.

Wang Yu is not in the mood to live there. As soon as he arranged the work, he called me, but he couldn't get through. I had just changed my number at that time.

Wang Yu had a premonition that something was wrong, so he found an excuse to trick his mother into putting some money on the card, so he bought a ticket and rushed back overnight.

After knowing the truth, I felt even more confused. I couldn't bear to see him get wet in the rain, so I quickly coaxed him in. He said angrily that he didn’t want to go home, but that would only deepen the conflict between me and his mother. Finally Wang Yu was sent away, and then the angry mother Wang rushed over and stood at the door and yelled at her.

"You can recall when I sent my son to Shenzhen. How could you overestimate your own capabilities and hug my son?" The yelling and cursing became more and more unpleasant, so I had to call Wang Yu and tell him the truth. he. He picked up his luggage and hurried back to the store overnight. "I just want to stay here and never go back!" I didn't want to make a fuss, but I couldn't convince him to leave.

Who would have thought that Mother Wang, who had not waited for her son all night, completely lost control. The next day, she came to my door again and stood in front of my store. The mother and her son were quarreling fiercely. For seven days, there was no way to do business and we had to close our doors.

It is said that two people have experienced many obstacles before they know how to cherish their feelings. However, I could not find a way out of this endless struggle. All I see is deep disappointment.

Tips: How to deal with mothers-in-law with different personalities

1. Nurse-type mother-in-law

Portrait: Everything at home and outside is arranged. You sleep in on Sunday, and she can't wait to bring breakfast to bed. Seeing that my son and daughter-in-law are still in kindergarten and seriously ill, I feel like the sky is falling without me.

Case: Mrs. Gu from Chongqing, 34 years old.

My mother-in-law is a very capable person. At first, I felt very lucky to have such a mother-in-law. After a long time, I felt that she was a little too much. I am a middle-level manager in a foreign company. Being cared for like a baby at home makes me feel very uncomfortable. For example, I always tell her that I wash my own underwear and socks. But as soon as I took it off, she washed it instantly. To be honest, I feel embarrassed asking my mother to wash these things. Once, I was combing my hair on the balcony after taking a shower. My mother-in-law took my thong and said in a low voice while drying it: "If such a small piece of cloth cannot cover it, you will get gynecological diseases." Oh my god, I was so embarrassed.

I really want to go to the kitchen on Sunday, but my mother-in-law always disagrees, saying that my hands are typing on the computer. Why bring a spatula? Once, I finally convinced her to let me cook, but she came to visit every now and then. "Qinqin, be careful not to cut your hand." "Dear, you have to wash the cabbage with the door open, otherwise it won't be clean." She talked too much, which made me very unhappy, and she finally cut off her hand. From then on, I gave up the idea of ??cooking at home and often helped the company’s hourly workers.

Analysis: A nurse-type mother-in-law is not only capable, but also hard-working and dedicated. You are lucky to have such a mother-in-law. Everything has pros and cons. Don't exaggerate your worries. Many troubles can be solved through serious communication.

Tip: Practice your skills hard.

Don’t blame your mother-in-law for being too busy. She doesn't trust you to do things, and she has her own reasons. You might as well practice some housework secretly. One Sunday, I asked my husband to take my mother-in-law out to play. You can clean the house and make the food delicious. Such a convincing gesture will make your mother-in-law feel embarrassed about taking too much care of you.

Fully communicate your thoughts: If you simply and rudely reject your mother-in-law's "care", she will be confused and sad. You might as well communicate with your mother-in-law in advance and tell her that you really want to learn the skills of being a housewife from her and hope to be as good as her at her age. Only in this way will your mother-in-law be willing to teach you how to do housework.

Let your husband come forward to be more convincing: If you are sure that you don’t want to be taken care of like this, you can ask your husband to come forward to do the work. If he tells his mother that he doesn't want his wife to do anything and that he doesn't want her to be like a kindergartener forever, your mother-in-law will be willing to relax her care for you in the long run.

Division of labor with your mother-in-law: If you are afraid that your mother-in-law will interfere in everything, you might as well divide the labor with your mother-in-law and make an agreement in advance that no one will interfere.

Portrait: Like the indoor drama "I Love My Family" The grandfather in "Journey to the West", the Tang Seng in "Journey to the West", takes ideological and political work as his own responsibility and never tires of it. Their greatest skill is that they can elevate all the little things in life to a theoretical level and use reason and emotion to explain them. They won't stop until you faint in front of her.

Case: Ms. Guo from Beijing, 31 years old.

Her mother-in-law was a department-level cadre before she retired, and ideological and political work was her strength. Now that I am retired, I will go home and use my "remaining heat". I speak casually and am often the target of being reformed, but the interesting thing is that my mother-in-law usually does not reform me, but my husband, I feel more pressure.

One night, my husband and I were sitting on the sofa chatting. My husband said that the son of the house opposite him had recently replaced his Passat with a BMW, which was probably a gift from someone else. I said that you have worked hard for a year to open a company, so you might as well give it to others as a red envelope. Why don't you just give up your business and go into politics? A joke was heard by the mother-in-law upstairs. She called her husband over as an excuse. Half an hour later, my husband returned to our room, covering his mouth, and said with a smile: "My mother has brought at least ten cases of corrupt officials being sacked to educate me this year."

Now even my five-year-old son I know I can’t talk at home, otherwise I’ll find a class. When my mother-in-law is not at home, we are very casual and sometimes deliberately spread some "reactionary remarks." But as long as my mother-in-law is around, we are all careful.

Analysis: Cadre-type mothers-in-law are often overbearing, a little stubborn, and superstitious about experience. But on the other hand, with a mother-in-law like this, you do have fewer opportunities to "make mistakes." And the reason why she suffers is often for your own good.

Tip: Do what you love.

First of all, you must admit in your heart that your mother-in-law's education has a positive side and praise her well. The old man has a strong rebellious mentality. The less you listen to her, the more she will educate you. When she feels that you are actually very close to her ideas, she won't preach behind her back all day long.

Provide her with a platform: Sometimes, her preaching is due to professional inertia or the shrinking of her life circle after retirement. You should encourage her to expand her social circle. When her eloquence has a wider stage, she won't stare at you all day long.

Selectively communicate with your mother-in-law: It is normal for your mother-in-law to not understand some of your ideas. You don’t need to change yourself, and you don’t need to force your mother-in-law to accept it. Hide these things that she cannot accept and communicate with her in an acceptable point of view. As you communicate more and more, she will trust you more and more, and naturally she will not give you lessons if nothing happens.

Third, child-type mother-in-law

Portrait: A charming woman who grew up under the care of her husband will still look like a child even when she becomes a mother-in-law. If you are willful, have a bad temper, have family around you, or have a minor conflict with your wife, you can commit suicide in tears.

Case: Mrs. Wang from Guangzhou, 32 years old.

My father-in-law is tall and has a good temper. He has been under his care for most of his life. Now she is 60 years old and still looks like a child. My father-in-law passed away the year before last, and my mother-in-law lived with us, which made her even more childlike. Today I want to eat radish and beef offal, and tomorrow I want to eat boat porridge. I also specified that I want Old Guangzhou or Baiyun Mountain. We had no choice but to take a detour after get off work to buy it for her. When watching TV at night, she would often be moved to tears by a bad plot, and would force us to watch it together. I just finished crying and wanted to watch cartoons for a while, laughing very happily. Her mood changes so quickly that we can't keep up with her mood changes.

She gnashed her teeth while eating fried soybeans. I said I was too old to eat such hard food. She didn't say anything at the time, but when her husband came back, she actually started crying sadly. My husband thought I was bullying her and we had a big fight. As a result, she went to beat her son again, saying that his son had wronged me. She just thought that she was too old to eat soybeans. Very sad. I always say that I have raised two children, one is my daughter and the other is my mother-in-law.

Analysis: A woman who is loved by her husband and lives a happy and ordinary life can easily become a child-like mother-in-law. They are kind and pure, but have poor ability to take care of themselves, and often cause trouble to others

Child-type mothers-in-law often make some childish little requests. If you don't obey her, she will get upset and even make a fuss out of her mind. It's better to obey her first, wait until her demands are met and she feels calm before you can reason with her. When making sense, it is best to use other people as examples, just like telling a fable to a child, making up a mother-in-law who is similar to her, such as "How is my colleague Ms. Wang's mother-in-law doing today?"

Let the child force it Let her grow up.

For a mother-in-law who refuses to grow up, let your children force her to grow up. Let the children ask grandma for help; work with them or complete various tasks assigned by the school; make suggestions for their own study and life. It was difficult for her to refuse her grandson's request. At this time, she must deal with the problem like a real elder, which can effectively curb her child-like tendencies.

When she loses her temper, calm her down.

When she acts like a child, she's often just upset and needs to vent.

Your best way is to deal with it calmly, do your own thing, don't take it, let her vent enough, and she will calm down naturally. If your husband is not at home, call him immediately to report the situation and ask for his opinion on how you should handle it.

Learn to properly refuse to treat your mother-in-law like a child. If you indulge her blindly, it will be easy to condone her weakness in character. Learning to refuse in a timely manner will help her understand that some things cannot be ignored, but the method must be clever, otherwise new conflicts will arise.

Conclusion: The elderly cannot be stubborn with them, they want to coax the most. As the saying goes, the older you get, the more you look like a child. In life, you need to be more tolerant. Thank you for your understanding and consideration, so that you can live a more satisfying life and have a more harmonious relationship with your mother-in-law.

Note: Reprinting an article online does not mean that this channel agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. If there are any issues related to content, copyright, etc., please contact us as soon as possible and we will delete the content as soon as possible!