How to establish good communication between husband and wife

Husband and wife communication refers to the exchange of information through language and expressions, so that both parties can understand each other's feelings and intentions. Good communication between husband and wife can make the information between husband and wife exchange normally. Below I have compiled the communication skills between husband and wife for your reference. Communication skills between husband and wife

1. Avoid laughing at your partner

Two people in an emotional relationship must have equal status to feel happy and satisfied. Laughing at each other is the most direct way to say, "I am better than you!" " The other party will feel depressed and lose their equal status, so it will be very difficult to accept. The person who is laughed at by his partner will have the motivation of anger and revenge, and he will seize the first opportunity to get even. At this time, this side also felt angry and motivated to retaliate again, and found other opportunities to laugh at each other and laughed at each other impudently. In this way, there will be a series of struggles between the two, and the relationship between the two will be tense and alienated. Many of the motives for ridicule were originally just jokes. My suggestion is to tell jokes instead of such jokes, because the speaker is unintentional and the listener is intentional, and often the speaker doesn't know how sensitive the listener is to those words. In particular, we should avoid making jokes about a person's physiological characteristics or personal data.

2. Avoid chattering

The effect of speaking does not come from how many words are said or how many times they are repeated. Many people will say it again when they see that it doesn't work. It's like a vending machine devouring your coins without spitting out drinks. Isn't it stupid to put them in again? Chattering will not increase the effect, but will only destroy harmony and hurt feelings. NLP has a famous saying about communication: the effect of communication depends on the response of the other party. If you say it and the other party doesn't give you the expected response, it will have no effect. Repeating ineffective methods will only continue to be ineffective, and other problems will arise. Therefore, what should be done is to change the method. Although the effect of communication is determined by the other party, it is controlled by you, because you can change the communication method. Some people have the habit of chattering. Most of them are people who are used to hearing internally. This does not mean that people with hearing will talk endlessly, but it is an unchangeable fact that people with hearing like to talk. If a chatterbox has a visual or sensory partner, it is particularly easy for them to have a tense relationship or even quarrel.

people who have the habit of chattering need to decide which is more important: maintaining this habit or maintaining a harmonious relationship with their partners. If you want to change this habit, you can try it-

Say the same thing only once. If you doubt that the other person does not understand, you can ask him/her. Ask your partner to remind you whenever you chatter unconsciously. Think in advance how to say what you want to say in just three sentences. Of course, three sentences cannot include all the information, but they should include the most important information. After three sentences, if the other person is interested, he will naturally ask you to say more, and then you can say other information. If the other person is not interested after three sentences, you should stop. Always remind yourself to see more, listen more and talk less. This can make a person observe more, master more and be more popular.

3. Avoid asking questions

Don't force your partner to say what he/she doesn't want to say. No matter what is involved, you should respect each other's space without controlling their rights. If you think about it carefully, you will understand that you have the right to leave him/her, but you have no right to ask him/her to say it! If you threaten something and force the other person to say something, the foundation of this relationship has already broken. Many people will use "curiosity" as an excuse to get to the bottom of things about their partners or anyone. All "curiosity" is actually just trying to control each other's performance because of their lack of security. Especially when the other party does something he doesn't agree with or even allow, he/she gets a superior position over the other party: he/she is not as good as me when he/she does something wrong. In this way, there is an opportunity to "teach" each other or "forgive" each other. If you don't trust your partner, you should confess everything and report clearly, which is a sign of not giving your partner equal status. If your partner needs to explain everything to you, it will definitely make you higher than him/her. Don't think that it is fair and equal that you are also willing to explain to your partner in this way. It will only bring you a more complicated and unmanageable dual identity: on the one hand, you are higher than him/her, and at the same time you are lower than him/her. When you ask your partner to confess, if your partner holds that he/she is above you, the two begin to quarrel. In fact, this is the most common situation. If your partner wants to do something you don't allow, you can never control him/her from doing it. As the saying goes, the Tao is one foot high and the devil is ten feet high. He/she will always find an opportunity to do it. The two people get along with each other and become catch me if you can: every day, they keep hiding and catching each other, and their feelings are gone. It is inevitable that there is a problem between two people, and your partner will take the risk to do things that you don't allow, so you'd better start from the root and let go of the superficial problems.

4. Avoid bargaining

Emotional relationship is not a trade sale. If you deal with the dispute between two people with the attitude of trade sale, it will be difficult to succeed, and it will inevitably lead to the trauma of emotional relationship. The biggest problem is: in the material world, everything can be given a monetary price, but love and love cannot be measured by money. I have heard such a thing: my wife forced her husband to buy her a valuable thing and not to sleep with him until she bought it back! This wife is extremely stupid. Before this incident, the husband may have no money standard for his wife's love, but after this incident, he did! Love can push a person to do many things, even get hurt and die for his partner. The only right to love a person is to do something for the other person, and people who really love each other are willing to do things for each other, and when the other person accepts what he/she has done for him/her, he/she will be very happy and satisfied. It is precisely because of this that when the other party asks for it when necessary, he will be happy to get this opportunity to work for the other party. From this point of view, there is no room for bargaining in the relationship between the two. Things can be discussed whether to do it or not, but bargaining is another matter: things should be done, but because you don't pay me enough, I ask for more in return. This is a message to the other party: my love for you is not enough to support me to do this for you. Methods of establishing a good relationship between husband and wife

1. Good emotional foundation and appropriate emotional expression

A good emotional foundation is a prerequisite for a happy marriage, and it is difficult for those marriages based on utilitarianism to bloom happily. Only when you have an emotional foundation can you have appropriate emotional expression. Appropriate emotional expression has become an important factor to maintain emotions. Treat your spouse with appreciation, praise each other appropriately, express your gratitude, communicate with each other and communicate your preferences, and try to avoid behaviors that hurt your feelings. If you always look at your spouse with critical eyes, you are used to speaking in a sarcastic and reproachful tone, you always show disgust at your shortcomings, and your dissatisfaction with your partner is always confined to your mind, and you don't let your partner know, etc., all of these are wrong practices, and sooner or later, you will form a marriage obstacle.

Second, build an alliance between husband and wife

The relationship established by husband and wife is a special interpersonal relationship. In essence, it is a private, long-lasting, progressive and contractual relationship. In order to make this relationship develop steadily and healthily, it is very necessary to establish a strong alliance between husband and wife. Some couples always talk to their parents or parents, the alliance between husband and wife is destroyed, and the marriage relationship is bound to be damaged. At the same time, it is necessary to maintain an appropriate psychological distance and personal boundaries between husband and wife. Husband and wife belong to the same body, and each has its own world, which is the psychological demand of modern couples.

Third, proper role-playing of husband and wife

Due to different social and cultural environments, expectations for the relationship between husband and wife and their roles are different. A sound and mature relationship between husband and wife can clearly understand the roles they need to play under what conditions, and they can adapt and adjust their roles accordingly with the changes of the environment and the different stages of the development of the relationship between husband and wife, so as to keep in harmony with the living environment. However, couples who are mentally unsound or immature often have the following problems: either they are not clear about the environment to which their roles are expected, or they are not playing their roles properly, which leads to the failure to form tacit understanding and cooperation between husband and wife, which leads to conflicts between husband and wife and shows obvious maladjustment. On this issue, it needs to be emphasized that modern equality between husband and wife is equality in concept, emphasizing that husband and wife should respect each other's needs and rights, rather than being the same in all aspects. Therefore, a proper division of labor in the family is absolutely necessary.

Fourth, good communication between husband and wife

Husband and wife communication refers to the exchange of information through language and expressions, so that both sides can understand each other's feelings and intentions. Good communication between husband and wife can make the information between husband and wife exchange normally.

The common problems in communication between husband and wife are as follows: First, it is often assumed that the other party will know by himself, without opening his mouth to explain and explain, which in fact often leads to speculation and misunderstanding; Second, it is believed that there is not much verbal expression between husband and wife, and communication is dispensable; Third, husband and wife can't keep honest communication and often lie. These three situations will affect the normal development of the relationship between husband and wife.

V. Harmonious sexual life of husband and wife

In addition to healthy sexual functions, both husband and wife need to have healthy sexual concepts and ethics. If there is a problem in the couple's sexual life, it is often an early manifestation of the couple's emotional problems, except for physiological factors. The relationship and emotion between husband and wife have improved, and their sexual relationship has also improved. On the other hand, if a couple's sexual life is very harmonious, including quantity and quality, it can enhance the feelings between husband and wife.