Funny jokes

1. After my wife disappeared, I went to the police station in 1. The policeman said to me, 1. You laugh 1 and we can't make a record.

When I was a child, my family was very poor. I often sit alone by the river and look up at the sky, hoping that toys will fall from the sky. My father said to me, "There will be no pie in the sky. The world is very big. You should go out as much as your father to see if there is any money on the ground. "

Young Xiao Wang went out and found 30 thousand yuan. He couldn't help laughing at the thought of how anxious the person who lost the money should be.

Xiaoming fell into a ditch on his way to school. The teacher asked: Where did you get hurt? Xiao Ming said: there is nothing wrong with people, but all the homework that has been completed has fallen into the ditch and can't be found.

Don't let any of you speak ill of my friend in front of me, or I will unconsciously follow suit.

6. I can't afford the AA system now. I invented an AAB system. It's your AA. I'm embarrassed to go.

7. Go fishing by the river with Lao Wang. After a long time, I didn't catch any fish. I asked Lao Wang: How many fish did you catch? Lao Wang said: if you catch this, two more will make three.

8. Take an umbrella in this summer sunshine. An old man looks too girly. Don't bring an umbrella. Sweating makes people make up.

9. I ate chicken covered rice in the canteen and found that there was a lot of meat today. Look at a piece of chicken ass carefully, then clip it out and put it on the table. At this time, my classmate came over and said, Oh, I am enjoying chrysanthemums.

10. Liu Bei's Luma ran to the cliff like a reins, and Zhang Fei shouted:

Big brother! Tighten the reins quickly! Liu Bei replied: I ... XI. Women are really petty: my wife asked me to pass her lip balm, but I accidentally handed her super glue. It's been a week, and she still won't talk to me.

12. I said seriously: "When I went to donate blood, it was not me who drew blood. The nurse will draw it for me! " The receptionist nodded: "That's true, but it won't work in the sperm library."

13. Women are crazy about beauty. A friend told me that his wife's first words when she saw him after giving birth were not about children or hard work, but about asking her husband to help her stand up and weigh herself to see how many pounds she had lost …

14. Just now, my buddy called me to complain. Last night, he was beaten by his wife. I quickly asked him if it was serious. He said he didn't know if it was serious. Anyway, the attendance machine didn't even know him when punching in at the company just now.

15. I have an appointment with a client, and time is tight. After I took a taxi, there was still a traffic jam. I anxiously said to the driver, "master, is there any way to get there?" I am really in a hurry, please! " The driver hesitated, gritted his teeth, and said to me with a serious face, "Yes, you can run down and I won't charge you."

16. When quarreling with my husband, I said angrily to him, "Go eat shit, I won't stop you!" This guy stared at me for a few seconds, and then, and then he bit me in the face.

17. My mother likes playing mahjong, but then I was born. My mother resolutely gave up mahjong for me and my family because she thought it was more interesting to hit me.

18. Also lazy. Just look at the treatment of pandas and pigs. This is a world of looking at faces.

19. It is said that the Tang Priest came to the foot of Wuxing Mountain. Wukong: "Master, help me!" "Tang Priest:" How do you repay me for saving you as a teacher? "Wukong:" I will definitely send you to the Western Heaven. "

20. What's the difference between jumping from the second floor and jumping from the twentieth floor? Jumping from the second floor is