Classic paragraph: "2 1 hot paragraph, I was killed instantly!" 》

1, company recruitment, crowded. I'm Peking University, I'm Jiaotong University, I'm Zhejiang University, I'm Nanda ... Suddenly, a female voice shocked all directions: "I have big waves!" "The boss on striking table:" it's you! "... say that finish, the boss took the woman to his office and closed the curtain:" You take it out and have a look? " The woman took out her diploma-from Ningbo University.

2. The dying grandmother called her granddaughter to her side: "I ... I want to leave you my farm ... where can I find tractors, villas, harvesters and other equipment ... and 4,596,650 pounds and 96 pence in cash ..." The granddaughter who will become a millionaire overnight was moved to tears: "Grandma, you are so kind to me ... I didn't know you had a farm. Where is it? " Grandma whispered with her last breath: "QQ Farm ..."

3. An alcoholic went to a winery to apply for a job. The director blindfolded the alcoholic and took out several kinds of wine. After tasting, the drunkards all said the brand and degree of the wine, and they were all shocked. The factory director winked at the female secretary, who took a cup of urine and handed it to her. The drunkard tasted it and said: female, 26 years old, pregnant in March. For a long time, the audience was silent. The drunk thought the application failed and said angrily, If you don't give me this job, I will tell you who your father is ... The factory director and several deputy factory directors immediately said, You are accepted! Think about what you will understand. ...

4. "Mom, I 13 years old, and I want to wear a bra." "impossible." "I want to use sanitary napkins." "Not really." "13 sister is not already using it?" "Shut up, son!"

5. "Dad, you can save money!" "Save what money? Children. " "You don't have to spend money on textbooks for me this year. I have failed. "

6. I went to my hometown to play, just to see his lovely son (over three years old) playing in bed. The little guy rode on a big pillow, grabbed the two corners of the pillow with both hands and shouted happily, "Drive! Drive! " I deliberately teased him: "handsome boy, what horse did you ride today?" He gave me a white look and said loudly, "Idiot, I am riding a pillow!" " This is a pillow. ...

7. My son is a genius. Yesterday he drew a dragonfly on the wall, and his mother caught it several times. What is that? My son drew a snake on the floor, and I was so scared that I ran out of the door. Who knows he painted that door on the wall!

8. A novice went to collect usury. He took out the iou and smirked and said, "It's written clearly in black and white. You owe my boss 1 10,000! Do you want to default? ! "People really don't have that much money, and he threatened," Hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't afford it tomorrow, your house will be just like it. " So ... he took out his lighter and burned the loan. ...

9.a and B are friends. A: "Do you have money?" B: "Yes, why!" Lend me some. What did you just say? Lend me some. No, I said it before. A: "Do you have money?" B: "No! ! "

10, a boy from a university in Shanghai sent a letter to his female classmate B: "Shanghai tap water comes from the sea." Reading backwards is exactly the same, which is extremely difficult! Female student b said, "Shandong peanuts fall to Dongshan"; Boy A said absolutely "beauty is not a mermaid", and girl B said "go to the playground to exercise until dawn tomorrow!" The boys lost.

1 1. There was a long queue in the supermarket. When it was my turn, I told the clerk to buy 50 condoms. As a result, the two MM's at the back sipped their mouths and laughed wildly. So I turned around and gave them a gloomy look! Then he said to the clerk, "Wait, change it to 52." So the whole scene was successfully grasped.

12. A woman can't get married because of her small breasts. One day, she said to the man on a blind date, "Do you dislike my small breasts?" The man said, "Is it as big as steamed bread?" The woman said yes! On the night of the bridal chamber, the man rushed out of the bridal chamber and knelt in front of the sky and shouted, "Oh, my God, Wang Zi steamed bread!" " "

13, Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three gold medals in my name? Dad: You are short of gold in your life, so you are called Xin. Just like some people are short of water, so they are called Miao, while others are short of wood, so they are called Sen. Dad: What do you think Sister Guo Jingjing is short of in this life?

There are too many words, so I can only put these down.