Tell me a joke!

1. Today, a netizen pulled me into the stock market. She asked me if I had money. I said yes, a lot of money. She asked me if I was a rich second generation. I said no, maybe my son did. She asked me how much money I had. I said it was 6543.8+a little over 0 billion. She was stunned. Ten seconds later, she sent me her photo and asked me if she could be my lover. I don't know. I have a wife. She pestered me for a long time and asked me to send her evidence of a lot of money, so she left me alone. In desperation, I had to show her my money. I sent her 654.38 billion RMB from Zimbabwe. After a few seconds, she made me pass out. Brother really has a little more than 6543.8+0 billion. Isn't Zimbabwe money I was hungry in the afternoon. I saw a bottle of yogurt on my colleague's desk and drank it without thinking. After a while, my colleague came and shouted, "Why is my facial cleanser gone?" 108! ! "Brother didn't speak, just silently walked to the bathroom, dig dig throat, feel sick. He vomited hard until he spit out sour water. When tears flowed back to his seat, his colleague took a bottle and said, "I was scared to death." The facial cleanser rolled under the table. Why is my yogurt gone again? " "My brother scolded in his heart: your grandmother is a bear drop, and drinking some yogurt makes people die. There are several transparent shrimps in the fish tank in the office. The leader looked at them for a long time with glasses and asked me what I kept. I said, "Shrimp!" The leader paused and left ... I was shocked, too, and quickly explained loudly: "Shrimp boss! Draw shrimp! The leader is really shrimp! ! It's real shrimp! ! ! "The next day, I was fired and it was my turn to be blind. 4. Female colleague scolds male colleague: "You are a pig!" "The male colleague was angry and retorted," I am a pig! " !" Therefore, these days, the tone of female colleagues is very strange. "Pig monster, go to the meeting!" "The pig is strange, is it in the toilet?" "Pig monster, what's for lunch?" The male colleague couldn't bear it, yelling at the female colleague: "I'm not a pig!" " Hey, who the hell is the pig? It's a complete mess.