A hundred cold jokes that make you laugh.

1, q: Who lives in darkness all his life? A: Tinker Bell asked: Why? Because he can't see his fingers. 2. Q: Where do mobile phone users like to go most? A: Jilin Tonghua asked: Why? A: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is busy." 3. Q: Where do users like to turn off their phones? A: Ningbo asked: Why? Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is power off. . . Seven years after graduation, I finally got a big project to build a 30-meter chimney. The construction period is two months, and the cost is 300,000, but it needs funds. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells! The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two! 6. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if I don't fucking come back, I'll die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking said I wouldn't go! 7. Q: How many brothers does Aladdin have? Three, Aladdin, Aladdin and Aladdin. 8. Q: Why do Mr. and Mrs. Bush always use the female position when doing ML? Because George W. Bush always screws up! 9. One day, eggplant was walking in the street and suddenly sneezed a lot. It wiped its nose and said angrily, "It's taking a photo again!" " 10, the old leader lamented, how happy you are, there are ladies everywhere. I was not only on a business trip, but when I came back, my family of seven were all crowded together. If I want to make out, I have to sprinkle candy outside the door and shout, "Little friend, I'll hold your mother down and grab the candy!" " ! ! "1 1. One day, the steamed stuffed bun was walking alone on the road, and suddenly he felt hungry and ate himself in one bite. . . . 12, q: one day coffee cups and glasses were walking on the road at the same time. Suddenly someone shouted at the back, "Look out, there is a car!" "As a result, the glass was crushed. . . Coffee cup is very good. Why? A: Because coffee cups have ears, glasses don't have 13. Q: What's your last name? A: My surname is Wei. Q: Wei what? Answer: Why not? My father's surname is Wei, so my surname is Wei 14. Patient: Doctor ~ Come and see me! I have amnesia! Doctor: When did you discover that you had this disease? Patient: What disease ...? 15, Q: How many letters are left after subtracting E and T from 26 letters? A: Twenty-four. Q: Wrong! ! ! A: Why? Q: 2 1, because ET left by UFO 16. Q: A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met without saying hello. Why? A: Because they are not familiar with each other. Q: Before attending the Beijing Olympic Games, who did Phelps admire most in China? A: Ba Jin 18. Grandpa said to his grandson: Do you know that the fourteen books written by Jin Yong can be connected into a couplet? Flying snow shoots at the White Deer Plain, laughing at the man of God leaning on Bi Yuan 'an! Sun Tzu said disdainfully, do you know that seven books written by JK Rowling can be connected into one sentence? Hahahahahahaha ... 19, Q: Do you know what is on Da Vinci's code? Q: It's Da Vinci's account. Do you know what's under the da Vinci code? A: It's the Da Vinci Verification Code. Q: Who has the flattest chest in fairy tales? Little red riding hood ... because her grandmother was eaten by a wolf ... 2 1. Dad asked his son: Why do Haier brothers only wear underwear? Son: No Q coins. Q: Do you know why Sichuanese are not afraid of spicy food? A: I don't know. Q: Because Sichuanese have to see a small animal before eating spicy food, and then they are not afraid of spicy food. What animal is it? A: I don't know. Q: Cockroaches, because I am not afraid of spicy food when I see cockroaches. Patient: "Doctor, I seem to be half deaf. You can only hear half of what you hear. " Doctor: "Really? Then let me test it. Patient: "44" 24. In Chinese class, the teacher writes "soft" on the blackboard and then lets everyone spell it. The boys shouted: heaven-end-soft. The teacher said: boys' pronunciation is not standard, please ask girls to supplement it. The girls shouted: the end of the day-I am soft. Monitor correction: Friday night is soft. The teacher was impatient and corrected sharply: the correct spelling should be Friday. Answer: it will make the sea laugh (scream)