Two jokes about language

Once upon a time, there was a bird. He passed a cornfield every day, but one day the cornfield caught fire and all the corn turned into popcorn! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside crying and flew away.

The diver's movements are difficult. He turned three times, then somersaulted forward for three and a half times, and then somersaulted backward for a month.

Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast. The second tomato asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, "Aren't we tomatoes?" Can we talk? "

There was a couple who secretly decided to spend their lives, but the man was going abroad for military service. Before he left, he put a ring in the box, threw it into the sea, and agreed to meet here with the ring three years later. Three years later, the woman didn't find the man because she remembered the wrong place. The man came back, but when he couldn't find the woman, he went back dejectedly.

Later, a man went fishing by the sea. Suddenly, he grabbed a box. Guess what's inside?

A pile of seaweed

Finally, he caught a fish. Something got stuck in the fish's mouth. Guess what it is?

A big fishbone.

Soldier: "Thirst ... Thirst ..." Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a piece of Meilin nearby, which may be there in a while. Soldier: Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh! " Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! " Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink! " Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

A guy went to the hospital for a checkup and did a lot of tests. The doctor said: There is good news and bad news! After reading your test results, I found that you have a potential homosexual tendency! ! And it's hard to cure! This guy said, oh, my god! What's the good news? The doctor said shyly, I find you very cute. ...

Panda man wants QJ panda woman, and panda woman struggles and resists to the death. After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "

Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf. The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " "Guess what? As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.