I study in Vancouver and live with foreigners. How should I get along with them?

Some questions make most westerners feel uncomfortable and even a little rude. For example:

How old are you? How much do you earn a month? Are you married? In western society, it is impolite to ask similar questions.

What I like best are those conversations that have a certain depth. Of course, at first, two people may talk about topics that have no obvious personal feelings, but these topics can be raised as a way of sharing information on the basis of finding the interests of both sides. In my conversations with people all over the world, I found that people are often not really asking questions, but speculating on their own.

When talking to westerners visiting China, don't presuppose the answers to the questions. For example, the other party mentioned that they had just gone to Xinjiang. Don't ask, "Did you go to Tianchi?" Instead, I asked, "Where did you go in Xinjiang?" Don't ask, "Do you like China?" Try asking, "What's it like to be in so many places in China?" "Where does China feel best?" "What difficulties did you encounter during your trip?" Wait a minute.

The other most important thing is not to ask questions like interrogation.

Seize the opportunity to speak.

In some cases, it may be more appropriate to start a conversation with foreigners. I have also seen some people run up to talk to foreigners as soon as they see them.

If you see a foreigner lost in the city, he may be beating around the bush or looking at a map from time to time. This is a good opportunity to communicate with him. He will be very grateful to you. Not only can you speak a few words of English, but more importantly, you helped him in time.

If the other party is obviously dealing with something, please don't disturb the other party. Because this is the basic principle of communication with people. I often encounter unwelcome interruptions. Many times when I was busy with other things, I was interrupted directly by strangers just to speak a few words of English.

Don't rush to express too much.

Many people ask me for my phone number when they meet for the first time, which is an embarrassing situation that foreigners often encounter.

Many times, the people I meet want to show their familiarity with western culture. They will immediately bring foreign sports teams, TV dramas, pop music or supermodels into the conversation. This is really a good way to keep the conversation going. However, many friends in China ignore the western popular culture they see in China, which is only a small part of popular culture in other countries. Sometimes these topics will widen the distance: for example, almost everyone in China is familiar with the NBA now. However, this does not mean that every American has a keen interest in basketball or knows all the NBA stars.

I found that the best people I associate with are all true colors. They just treat foreigners as friends, just like talking to locals.

I thought of an opening sentence, which can be used on almost any occasion: "Hi, can I talk to you for a while?" Hello, do you mind talking to you for a while? This kind of short and polite opening remarks will make most westerners feel relaxed and natural, and will not make them feel "cornered". Unless there is something urgent to do, most people will answer "yes".

First, punctuality.

Foreigners think that time is life, and wasting time is wasting life. Emphasis on time is respect for life. So, be punctual and don't be late. If you are going to be late or absent, be sure to call in advance to explain the reason.

Second, make an appointment in advance and plan well.

Foreigners do things in a planned way. This year, they have booked air tickets for next year. This week has been arranged in advance for next week. So if we invite them home or ask them to do something, we must make an appointment in advance. You can't tell them what to do. A foreign teacher told me that he used to teach in a famous university in China and was often suddenly informed by the department that he would have a meeting in the afternoon. He said that he really didn't understand why he was told to have a meeting in the afternoon at noon. The department said it would be decided at noon. But he has arranged the afternoon schedule and often doesn't know what to do.

If there is no appointment, it will be embarrassing for foreigners to visit rashly. Because they don't want to meet their guests unprepared.

Third, keep your promise.

Generally, what foreigners promise will be seriously fulfilled unless there are special circumstances. Therefore, when dealing with foreigners, as long as he agrees, he will certainly do it. They attach great importance to their credibility. On the other hand, if we don't keep our promises, foreigners will think such people are not credible. Once they think they can't be trusted, they won't associate with such people. They are very sensitive and serious about laws and systems. Because in their country, people's behavior is regulated by laws and systems. When doing business with foreigners, we must pay attention to the contract and its contents. Once you have signed the contract, you must try your best to abide by it. If you don't follow the rules, you will lose this customer forever. If foreign businessmen think you are a trustworthy and worthy person. Even if your offer is higher than others', they will always cooperate with you faithfully. They believe that credibility is higher than immediate interests, and long-term cooperative relations are more important.

Fourth, honesty.

When dealing with foreigners for the first time, always trust each other. If you find yourself cheated by the other party, the relationship of trust is over. They often say that being cheated the first time is enough, and being cheated again is a fool. Once in Xintiandi, a student asked for leave to go to Tibet. Later, the teachers found out that he was still playing basketball in the back garden of the school. Everyone was very surprised. How can they lie like this? Integrity is an extremely important quality in foreign-related business activities. It is not easy to establish relations with foreign customers, because they have to conduct repeated surveys to determine whether they can communicate for a long time. Therefore, we should cherish this business partnership very much, and don't ruin cooperation opportunities and long-term interests because of a little dishonest behavior.

Fifth, talk and do things seriously.

Foreigners take what others say very seriously. For example, instead of casually saying "Come to our house to play", they immediately asked "Will you come to your house tonight?" A long time ago, my American friends told me that people in China asked them, "Have you eaten?" They thought: What do you mean? Why do you care if I eat? Are you going to invite me to dinner? Foreigners are serious about principles and regulations. When you have rules, you have to implement them. People who don't like China. For example, the school stipulates that if you miss class for three times, you will be expelled. If you don't take the graduation exam, you won't have a diploma. No matter how close the teacher-student relationship is, we should follow the rules. It's not that he doesn't love you or like you, but that rules are rules. China people may find it hard to accept being friends after being deported.

Sixth, pay attention to details.

Attention to detail is also a sign of seriousness. China people sometimes don't pay attention to details, which makes foreigners dizzy. For example, the master who installed cabinets came, and the cabinets above were not hung horizontally, but obliquely. The foreigner said, "There is no peace", and the master said, "Peace." The foreigner measured it with a ruler and it was two centimeters short. "Two centimeters!" China people said, "It's only two centimeters!" "

The boss of an American investment company asked a China to do an investigation for him. Because they want to buy an office building. He said, "Please find out how many companies are in this office building." The investigator came back and said, "About 100." Later, the boss was not at ease and went to investigate in person and found that it was 150. He was greatly surprised by the sketchiness of the investigator's work, and thought: What is the difference between 100 and 150? What can you expect if you can't even do such a small thing well?

The HR director of another foreign company once told me that many people sent resumes to her company. There are many people who want to apply. Many people were eliminated without even looking at their resumes. You can tell how careless this person is by what paper he (she) uses. Don't expect a job opportunity. Before we meet, resumes represent our own image. I don't even take my resume and image seriously. It is impossible to expect the company to give us any responsibilities and job opportunities.

Seven, direct communication

Foreigners will tell you directly if they have any questions. They are very straightforward, and sometimes they even ignore people's feelings. If you have a problem with foreigners, you should also tell him or her directly. Never talk behind your back or tell others. They will feel very hurt. Once, some students had some opinions about a teacher's class. Instead of talking to the teacher directly, they jointly wrote to the school leaders. The teacher felt humiliated and totally unacceptable. They think it's totally disrespectful.

Eight, responsible for their own affairs

Foreigners' education from childhood is very different from that of China people. They are independent and responsible for their own affairs. For example, if everyone goes to a restaurant to eat together, unless he tells you that he will invite you, he will buy his own food and pay for it. Sometimes China feels strange. Why did he buy himself a bottle of water instead of you when they were walking in the street? Instead, I wonder if this person is selfish. Actually, it has nothing to do with selfishness. In his eyes, he is responsible for his own affairs and you are responsible for yours.

Nine, eating habits

Foreigners generally don't eat viscera and blood. They like chicken, beef, cakes and pasta. Taste close to western food, such as sweet and sour chicken nuggets, kung pao chicken, lemon chicken nuggets, sizzling beef tenderloin, broccoli, peas, lettuce and shredded apple. Some foreigners like spicy food. I like Sichuan food in China. Foreigners can't pick fishbones.

Foreigners like to be quiet when eating in restaurants. It is impolite to make noise. Don't make any noise while eating. Don't talk with food in your mouth. Never pick your teeth in public. Don't smoke in public places.

Some exquisite foreigners like to use chopsticks and spoons. I don't like everyone's chopsticks and spoons on the same plate, because it's unsanitary and contagious.

Ten, foreigners taboo things

Asking about other people's salary and income

Salary is a very private matter for others. Never ask about other people's income and how much money they earn. To understand their financial situation, you can ask: What is the average salary of middle school teachers in the United States? Never ask how much you earn a month.

weight

Foreigners are very sensitive about their weight. People in China often say: You've put on weight, so eat well when you return home. Now they sound particularly uncomfortable, thinking: I am fat again, my stomach is too big, I am really ugly.

age

Don't ask their age unless they are willing to tell you. If he lets you guess, don't guess on the older side. Everyone wants to be young, not so old.

Talking in the distance.

When talking to foreigners, keep a certain distance. Never get too close. Because distance shows your relationship with him, only husband and wife, or boyfriend and girlfriend, can get so close.

Hugs and kisses

Most foreigners like hugging and even kissing. It's just a common courtesy, just like shaking hands in China. It doesn't mean that he (she) means anything to you. Don't misunderstand.

Touch the child's head

China people especially like children. They like to touch their heads and faces to show closeness, intimacy and affection. On the contrary, foreigners don't like people touching children's heads and faces, and they don't like people talking about whether they have enough clothes for their children. China people show concern, but they think: This is my child. What do you mean? Do you think I'm irresponsible to my children? Many foreigners who have just come to China don't know China's real intention, which is just a cultural difference.

Don't stare at foreigners

Many China seldom see foreigners and often stare around them. Foreigners who have just arrived in China are extremely uncomfortable and even feel too rude. Why are you staring at us? Are we monsters?

Don't ask others why they don't get married.

Marriage is someone else's private affair. People in China like to care about the marital status of others, especially those who are not married. In the eyes of foreigners, that is their own private affairs. Please don't pry into other people's private affairs. Whether he (she) is married or not has nothing to do with you.

XI。 public morality

No Spitting

If you want to spit, please spit in toilet paper, wrap it and throw it in the trash can.

Don't litter.

Singapore is the cleanest city in the world, littering will be fined thousands of Singapore dollars, and even property will be confiscated. Cleanliness is a symbol of civilization.

Flush the toilet.

Be sure to flush the toilet after use.

Don't jump the queue.

In the eyes of foreigners, jumping the queue is disrespectful to all the people waiting in line. Everyone should line up and keep a certain distance.

12. Don't judge by China people's thinking, communicate more.

Sometimes we don't understand what foreigners do, but don't jump to conclusions or feel offended. Because our cultures are different, what he or she does has one meaning in China culture, but it has another meaning in theirs. So don't jump to conclusions. That's what he (she) meant when he (she) said such a thing and did such a thing, which caused misunderstanding between the two sides. You should ask more questions and communicate more. Understand their true meaning and help them understand the feelings of China people. Sometimes, foreigners will hurt China people unintentionally, and China people will hurt them unintentionally. We should communicate more and think from their culture or standpoint. Many times, we can resolve misunderstandings, but we should learn to appreciate each other's differences and establish real friendship.

Finally, I sincerely hope that whenever you meet foreigners in your country, you can create a successful exchange.