2010 Worst Joke Competition O(∩_∩)O Haha~!

1. Five Yuan Qian was kidnapped by a criminal gang. He called Hundred Yuan Bank: "Hey! Your son is here. If you don't want us to rip it off, you can exchange it for him with yourself!" Hundred Yuan Bank thought for a moment. Said: "Tear it up, you won't even have 5 yuan if you tear it up!"

2. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp. Magic Lamp: "I can only grant you one wish, tell me quickly, I'm in a hurry." Man: "I want a wife..." The Magic Lamp immediately transformed into a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "I'm almost starving to death." Covetous for beauty! How sad!” After that, he disappeared. Person: "...Cake."

3. The earthworm family was very bored today, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. The mother of the earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into two pieces. Si Duan went to play mahjong. Dad Earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!" The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football."

4. The panda man wants to QJ the panda. Female, Panda Girl fought hard and refused to obey. After the failure, the panda man said angrily: "We are all going extinct!"

5. The tortoise and the hare... the hare quickly ran to the front... the tortoise I saw a snail crawling very slowly... I said to him: Come up, I will carry you... Then... the snail came up... .After a while...the turtle saw another ant...and said to him: Come up too...so the ant also came up. After the ant came up... when he saw the snail above... he said to him: Hello, do you know what the snail said? The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...

6. A man and a woman were having dinner. The girl kept asking the boy: Do you love me? The boy glanced at the girl and continued to eat dinner. The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me? The boy finally said: I love the girl and asked: How do you prove it? Suddenly the boy took thirty yuan out of his pocket and asked the girl: Do you have ten yuan? The girl took ten yuan and gave it to the boy... The boy put forty yuan on the table. After a while... the girl asked the boy angrily: Do you want to prove that you love me? The boy said: I have proved it! Forty is right in front of you!

7. One day I went to a snack street and found a shop selling egg tarts. Every type of egg tart looked very delicious. I wanted to buy one to try. I asked the clerk: Are these sold individually? Clerk: No, this is from Japan.

8. One day, a fire broke out in the house. Both parents escaped, and only one son was left inside. The mother shouted nervously outside the house: "Son... what are you doing... there's a fire and you still can't come out..." The son replied: "I'm putting on socks... .." The mother said again, "Why are you wearing socks when there's a fire..." After five minutes, the son still hasn't come out... The mother shouted nervously, "Son, what are you doing quickly?" Come out~ It’s on fire, and you’re still in there..." My son said, "I’m taking off my socks..."

9. Has anyone gone fishing by the river? The solution was that he had to change the earthworms. Still no fish took the bait for a long time. He was so angry that he took out 100rmb and threw it into the water and cursed: "*—#What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself!!!!"

10. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in the mine. The boss is an American. He said to the German: You are in good shape and you are responsible for the coolies. To the French: You said you were an engineer and you were responsible for the mining plan. And to the Japanese, he said: You are very thin. You are responsible for supplies. Then the next week, they get to work. A few days later, the Germans and French discovered that the Japanese were missing. After looking for them for a long time, they decided to go back to work. "Surprise!"

11. "I can't see things that are too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist.

"Please come with me," the doctor took the patient outside, pointed at the sun in the sky, and asked, "What do you think that is?" "The sun," the patient replied. "Then how far do you want to see!"

12. One day the animals smelled a bad smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said: I am too young to fart such a smelly thing, it must be a cow. The cow said: I eat grass and will not fart so smelly. Pig said: People who fart will definitely blush. Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, beat the pig away and said: How many times have I told you that my blush is natural.

13. A man met God one day... God suddenly became very kind and planned to give that person a wish... God asked... What is your wish? Okay... The man thought for a while... I heard that cats have 9 lives... Then please give me 9 lives... God said ...Your wish has come true... One day, that person was bored... He wanted to just die... Anyway, he has 9 lives. Lying on the railroad tracks...and a train drove past...the man was still dead...why? Because there were 10 carriages in that train...

14. One day, three people were sent to the funeral home. Strangely enough, their smiles after death were all ^_^... ...The funeral director asked pol.ice very puzzled: Why do their faces after death turn out to be ^_^? Pol.ice said: This... it's a long story... Look at the person on the left... He was spending spring night with his wife in ***... .At the last moment...I couldn't stand it anymore...and the administrator replied: Alas...I would like to die under the flowers...I'm a ghost. Feng Liu... Then how did the one in the middle die? pol.ice: That one in the middle... He... What a tragedy... He was walking on the road... Suddenly he heard that he had won the jackpot... ....The prize was more than 700 million. When he laughed happily... he was hit by an oncoming car... and ended up... dead. .....The administrator replied: Alas...he is really not blessed to enjoy this glorious and wealthy life for the rest of his life...What about the remaining one? pol.ice: ...This one's death is a bit pitiful... He was struck to death by lightning while climbing a tree. The administrator replied: ...That's it. Something is wrong, why are you still smiling after being struck by lightning...pol.ice said: Because after he climbed the tree, he thought...there was a sudden flash of lightning...he thought... ...Someone took a picture of him...

15. Thousands of years ago, whether they were male or female dogs, they squatted when they urinated. It wasn't until the Tang Dynasty that things changed... Everyone, everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty! His old man had a pair of Pekingese dogs. Once, Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty went to Mount Huashan to offer sacrifices to heaven and took this pair with him... Halfway through the sacrifice, the bitch suddenly became anxious, so she ran behind a tree to deal with it. During the sacrifice to heaven, this was It was a very disrespectful behavior, so it angered the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor ordered Thunder God to hit a tree with thunder. The tree fell down and crushed the female dog to death. The male dog was very frightened after seeing it... From then on, the male dog every time Every time I urinate under a tree, I will stretch out one foot and push against the tree to prevent the tree from falling on me...