A hilarious drama script

Characters: Hu, Fan Mu, Fan Wife, Recorder.

Jin Fan: (When I walk, my wrinkles are almost screwed, so I won't get the official hat in the future, but I can't twist it round and round. ) My name is Fan, and I'm 54 years old. After thirty years of hard study, I don't have high hopes for scholars. I'm going to Beijing for an exam tomorrow, and I'm at a loss The worst is English. In order to pass, wife, bring me the Oxford dictionary!

Wife Fan: Alas! Here it comes. Look at you, look up in order to win this scholar.

Jin Fan: Without fame, you can't live a good life.

Wife Fan: Right, right ~ Hey, honey, let me tell you something.

Jin Fan: What's this?

Fan's wife: My father sent a short message to my mother yesterday, saying that she would come to our house today. My mother was so happy that she went to the market to buy food early in the morning. What do you think this old couple is singing? (Fan Mu listens while carrying a vegetable basket)

Jin Fan: Yes, I think something is wrong too. Since I bought my mother a Nokia, your father has sent more than a dozen text messages a day. What sparks will they spark?

Fan Mu: Who caused the spark? What are you two whispering about?

Wife Fan: (taking the basket) Mom, you're back. Hey, why did you buy so many dishes today?

Fan Mu: My son will go to Beijing to catch the exam tomorrow. Today, he will cook something delicious. Where will your father come from? (Looking sideways at the phone) 1 1 It's time, it's time to come.

And Mrs. Fan: Oh ~ ~ ~ There are articles.

Wife Fan: Mom, cook quickly.

Fan Mu: Go and cook, my dear son, and study hard. (Voice rising) (Fan's wife and mother go behind the stage screen)

Jin Fan: I see.

Butcher Hu: (on ceremony) People are happy when they are happy. The director asked me to play it again. Today, I play the butcher Hu, who is your father-in-law. This fan will have an exam tomorrow, so I came to see him specially (covering my mouth) to see my own mother. (knocking at the door)

Fan Mu: (coming out of the screen) Yo! It must be khufu.

Fan Mu: In-laws!

Hutu: My mother! (trying to reach out and hug, Fan's wife beat her to death with a stick)

Mrs. Fan: Oh dear! Dad, what took you so long? Come in, come in ~

Hutu: There is a traffic jam on the road. I'm exhausted from riding Yamaha all the way.

Fan Mu: Come on, sit down and have a rest (taking things from Hu)

Hutu: Oh, no rest. I have to go and see Fan.

Fan Mu: Over there. Go ahead.

Jin Fan: Yes, no, come, go, go ~ go ~ go! ! !

Hutu: Jin Fan, Jin Fan ~ ~

Jin Fan: Ah! My father-in-law's visit is far from welcome, but I still hope to make up for it.

Butcher Hu: Don't mention it. Marrying my daughter to you will hurt me. I don't know what virtue I have accumulated to make you successful today. You should treat me well in the future.

Jin Fan: Right, right, right ~ ~

Butcher Hu: As the saying goes, "If you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer." . You little sparrow, now you fly to the branches and become a phoenix. You should tell a rule in everything from now on so as not to make any jokes. It's different now. Pay attention to your identity.

Jin Fan: My father-in-law's advice is very good. My husband must keep it in mind.

Wife Fan: (from behind the screen) Look at you two. Don't be busy chatting. It's time for dinner. (Mother Fan is clearing the table) (Dinner for four)

Jin Fan: My father-in-law, I'm going to Beijing to take the exam tomorrow, but it's a long way and I don't have enough money. Can you lend me 3000 yuan first? (Hu choked) When I get to high school, I will definitely pay it back twice.

Hu: (angry) I said, Fan Xiao, when my family runs a bank, you borrow money every three days. When will you pay it back?

Fan Mu: (patting Hu on the back) In-laws, please sit down. Do you have anything to say? (Picking vegetables for Hu) The family is really a little tight these days, but it can't delay his exam.

Fan's wife: Yes, Dad, you have been smart all your life and confused all your life. Think about it. Jin Fan will become famous, and all the money he earns will be yours.

Hutu: (Think about it) Now that my mother and my daughter have agreed, I will pick up the bargain for you today, but the business of killing pigs is not good recently. I only have 1000 in my hand, that's enough.

Jin Fan: Thank you, Grandpa ~

Hutu: Well, you keep eating. I have to go back and do something, so I'll go first. (Four people get up)

Jin Fan: Then let Osmanthus fragrans (Fan's wife) deliver it to you. (Fan's wife stamped her foot and winked) Oh, mom, why don't you send your father-in-law away and let Guihua clear the table.

Fan Mu: You dead boy, come on, I'll see you off.

Hutu: Then I'll go, Fan Xiao, and have a good exam tomorrow! (Fan's wife cleans up, Hu and Fan's mother cleans up)

Jin Fan: In the exam, I don't know much about the Four Books and Five Classics. I don't know much about Tang poetry and Song poetry, let alone English. It's difficult to get into the exam, but what if you don't? (under the luggage)

Narrator (reporter): Jin Fan packed his luggage and embarked on a journey to catch the exam. (Two seconds) Three days later, Jin Fan came back.

Jin Fan: Mom, wife, I'm back.

Wife Fan: Oh, dear husband, you are back.

Fan Mu: How about it? No matter whether your grades are good or not, your mobile phone is broken these days.

Jin Fan: Alas! I didn't do well in the exam. I got 50 points for the last question. I won't do anything.

Mrs. Fan: What's the problem? Tell me about it.

Jin Fan: It asks: Where was Li Bai born? How could he be so ill?

Fan Mu: What did you say?

Jin Fan: I said that our family is a farmer and we don't know much about Li Bai. If you want to investigate your household registration, please go to the public security bureau!

Fan Mu: Son, your answer to this question is so creative! (on the registrant)

Recorder: Haha, this is Master Fan's house. Master Fan ~ Master Fan ~

Jin Fan: Who is it? (Three people go out to open the door)

Interviewer: Oh, dear! Oh, my God, if it isn't Master Fan whom I admire most! Congratulations, Master Fan. Please look at the list of empires.

Jin Fan: It's good news for your grandfather Jin Fan. He was the seventh most important person in Guangdong Province in high school, and it's also good news for Lian Deng Royal Family. (Jin Fan doesn't believe it. Take a large reading glasses and watch it again. )

Recorder: Master Fan, congratulations ~

Jin Fan: Good news. Jin Fan, the master of your government, was the seventh big shot and won the provincial examination. Yeah! I won, I won (dancing and falling)

Fan Mu: My son, osmanthus, what's wrong with you? Get some water quickly. (Two people pour water for Jin Fan)

Jin Fan: (wakes up) Yes! I won, I won ~ ~ (running backstage, you'd better drop a shoe)

Interviewer: Ah! It turned out that Master Fan was ecstatic.

Fan Mu: How can there be such a thing as bad karma? You won the prize, but you ended up like this.

Fan's wife: Always healthy. How could he be crazy? Mom, what can I do now?

Reporter: Don't panic, old lady. I have a good idea.

Qi: Say it quickly.

Interviewer: According to the investigation of Dr. Bai, a famous physiologist, this happened to Master Fan because Master Fan was overjoyed and stuck a mouthful of phlegm in his throat.

Mrs. Fan: What should I do?

Recorder: Pick any person that Master Fan is usually afraid of, punch him in the mouth and say,' I lied to you just now, and you didn't win anything at all'. He was surprised, spit it out, and naturally he was fine.

Fan Mu: What if the fighting becomes more and more fierce and you become a vegetable?

Interviewer: What should I do? This is the only way now. If you don't fight, you must fight.

Fan Mu: What does Jin Fan fear most ... Father-in-law Hu. Find your father-in-law

Mrs. Fan: Oh, (dialing) Hey, Dad, can you come here quickly? It is urgent.

Hutu (backstage): What's wrong? I am watering the pig. I have no time.

Fan's wife: Ah, I found 10000 yuan on the road and said I would return it to you.

Hutu: What, ok, ok, you wait, I'm coming!

Interviewer: Your own affairs are inconvenient for younger people to participate in, so I will leave.

Fan Mu: Well, you go ahead.

Hutu (from backstage): (panting) Daughter, I'm coming. Where is Jin Fan? Where is the money?

Wife Fan: Dad, I can't find any money.

Butcher Hu: What, I'll fight ~ (I raised my hand to fight and was stopped by Fan Mu)

Fan Mu: My son passed the exam, but he went crazy after reading the imperial list. Experts say you will be fine if you slap him.

Hutu: What? He was accepted by a jury?

Qi: Yes, slap him quickly.

Butcher Hu: Now that he has been admitted, how can he play? If anything happens, we will all stare.

Fan Mu: Now, this is the only way. You are usually very skilled at killing pigs. It's too difficult to hit him at once today.

Butcher Hu: Well, I killed the pig with a white knife and a red knife. What's wrong with me slapping him? Where is Jin Fan? Park it here.

(Jin Fan goes on stage): I won, I won ~ ~

Wife Fan: Look, there it is.

Jin Fan: Yes, Khufu, look, I won!

Hutu: OK, I'll make your face into a color screen and your front teeth into a flip. I will succeed! (Jin Fan slaps down, and his wife Fan Mu goes forward to pinch the hole. )

Hutu: (shaking hands) It's broken. I hit too hard.

Jin Fan: Why am I here? I was in a daze for a long time, just like dreaming.

Fan's wife: Honey, you passed the exam.

Jin Fan: Yes, I remember I got the seventh place in the exam.

Butcher Hu: Dear husband, I was too cruel just now. Don't blame me. The director asked me to hit you. Does your face still hurt?

Jin Fan: (stands up) Oh, it really hurts.

Fan Mu: His father-in-law, you slapped him well. After a while, my son will wash his face and wash off half a basin of lard. Look at this trembling hand, he will definitely not kill pigs tomorrow.

Butcher Hu: Why should I kill pigs? I want to enjoy my future life, don't I, dear husband?

Jin Fan: Yes, our family will be happy in the future.

Butcher Hu: Haha, look at my husband. He is good-looking At first glance, he is an official, not bragging. I have a good eye for people!

Jin Fan: Jin Fan finally stood out. When I get promoted to a higher position and get rich, I'll let the whole family have a Manchu banquet first, and then ...

Hutu: Hey ~ I won't talk about this for the time being. Being the first today, congratulations. Come on, everybody. Come on. Let's take a picture and have a close contact.

Qi: OK, let's take pictures.

Hutu: Are you all standing? One, two, three, eggplant!

(curtain call)