Who told a super funny joke. Waiting for high scores

1. Campus joke: The teacher asked a student: Why did your homework book become like this?

Student answer: It fell into the water.

Teacher: How could you fall into the water?

He lowered his head and said: I accidentally...

The teacher asked with a pale face: Did... fall into the water in the toilet? !

The student said: I fell into the urinal...

I saw the teacher looking up to the sky and screaming for 5 seconds, then stretched out his index finger and said: I But you can turn page after page with saliva!

2. Hilarious jokes: Question: "When I go on a blind date, if the girl opposite smiles, a thick patch of powder falls off her face. What should I do?" Answer: "You are too polite. Give me food when you meet me for the first time!"

Question: "If the person next to you suddenly looks at you and vomits while you are riding the bus, what should you do?" Answer: "Sure enough? Power! Most people will faint immediately when they see me!"

Ask: "What will happen if you drop ten bottles of beer?" Answer: "Let them come up again..."

3. Folk jokes: A: "I heard that you have been buying lottery tickets lately? How is it, did you win?"

B: "You don't have to squeeze in the bus this month."

A: "Did you win a big prize? Buy a car?"

B: "I won a shit, buy a shit! All the money was spent on lottery tickets, and I can only walk to work this month!"

A: "..."

4. Hilarious embarrassment: I was playing snooker with a foreigner, and I was so abused. The foreigner always praised me with all his praises, and I couldn't say anything. Excuse me. When I got home, I thought about it and saw that his expression didn't look like he was praising me, so I looked it up online, and I learned a lot: it turned out that he was talking about "newbie", which is pronounced the same as NB! The important thing is that when he said this word, I kept replying "thank you! thank you!" Ah Hundan, I was really embarrassed now...

5. Campus joke: Teacher A While correcting an English composition, I suddenly became furious: "I have never seen such a weird English composition!"

Teacher B saw this and asked: "What is it?"

Teacher A: "Write a story about a king and a queen."

Teacher B: "That should be good!"

Teacher A said angrily: "Not bad! This kid is actually here It begins with the king asking the queen 'can you speak Chinese?' and the queen replies 'yes', and all the rest are in Chinese!"

6. The five most amazing people in mathematics textbooks: No. 5: Uniform speed! A model train driver who travels and is never late;

Fourth place: A conscientious foreman A and B who has a clear division of labor and tacit cooperation;

Third place: the madness of filling and draining water at the same time Pool manager;

Second place: The perverted old farmer who put hens and rabbits in a cage;

First place: Going out early, but deliberately slowing down, just waiting My brother caught up with the tsundere Xiao Ming!

7. Campus joke: Xiao Ming was playing basketball on the playground today. A classmate took off his clothes when he got too hot. When Xiao Ming saw that he had six-pack abs, he enviously asked his classmate: "You How do you develop abdominal muscles?" He said calmly: "I have been constipated since I was a child..."

8. Folk joke: A friend has a good heart, but he always makes two mistakes. One time he couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, so he played with a drift bottle and got a message. The other person was a girl. Said: It’s so boring. Can anyone tell me a joke? My friend was also kind-hearted. After hesitating for a long time, he felt that he couldn't let the girl down, so he said: You are so beautiful... As a result, the two of them cursed each other all night...

9. Campus joke: When I was in class today, my old class divided the class into six groups and asked everyone to give their group a name, so all kinds of weird group names appeared: Insatiable Group, Sliding Group, Tathagata Buddha Group, Special Agent Group 5, Serious Case Group 6. But what really makes me outrageous is that one group is actually named: Guang Zongyao Group!

10. Hilarious masterpiece: Sun Wukong was taken to the Royal Horse Prison by Taibai Jinxing: "Bima Wen, from now on these horses will be entrusted to you.

"

Sun Wukong looked at a sea of ??clouds and shouted: "Wait a minute! Where is the horse? "

Taibai Jinxing: "Look carefully, aren't they all? ”

Sun Wukong was confused: “I only saw a bunch of floating clouds!” "

Taibai Jinxing: "That's right, the gods and horses are just clouds...