Tell a few cold jokes

Hedgehog envied the rabbit's hair and thought it was beautiful. He began to hate his own thorns, so he kept pulling them out every day. Finally, one day, the hedgehog played with his thorns. Guess what his first sentence was? Answer: It's so cold. Listen, I'm going to tell you a very, very scary story. Hoo ~ ~ Hoo ~ ~ On a dark night in a month, there was no one in the street. Suddenly, a figure appeared. The man walked slowly to an apartment and got into an elevator. When the elevator rose to 13 floor, suddenly, a man appeared at the elevator door! ! It turned out to be an upstairs resident, and the two waited quietly in the elevator. Feeling a little bored, I started talking. The light went out, and at that moment, a very, very scary and weird story happened! ! ! That man choked on his own saliva ... point: the more nonsense said earlier, the better, the more horrible. Then stop for a long time in the last sentence, and then say it quickly. Why do people always say that robot cats are the kindest and most caring? Answer: Because it stretched out a round hand (helping hand), two tomatoes were walking on the road. One tomato suddenly walked very fast, and the other said, how did you walk so fast? It doesn't care, it asks it, why does it walk so fast? It doesn't care, it asks, why do you walk so fast? It slowly turned around and said to it, aren't we tomatoes? How can you talk? Aren't we tomatoes? How can you talk? This sentence is very calm. I want to tell you an interesting story. Listen! Listen carefully! I'm gonna start talking! Ahem, I want to talk. Really super funny, be sure to listen carefully! All right, that's it! Key points: Have an appetizer ahead! I also hope that they will give an uncertain answer, which is a voluntary answer. Only with the effect will the fool shout: Who can make me laugh? A passerby said, you pinch the muscles on both sides of your face, and I'll make you laugh. Little nephew clamored for grandma to tell a story before going to bed. Mom: A long time ago, a man went shopping with a hemp basket on his arm ... Nephew: No, I want to listen to Altman. Mom, calm down: Altman used to go shopping with a basket on his arm ... nephew shouted: no, I want to hear Altman fight monsters! Mom: Once upon a time, there was an Altman who got into a fight with a monster selling vegetables while shopping ... Then my nephew fell asleep contentedly after hearing that Altman and the monster had their heads knocked off for a catty of cabbage. A handsome young man was knocking at the door, and I opened it in disbelief. He pushed me, tore my clothes, kissed my skin and whispered his love for me. I struggled hard, but I still couldn't resist his atrocities against me. After the passion, he looked at me solemnly and said with tearful eyes, "Sir, your girlfriend in America sent you a photo of passionate sex. Please check it." How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting for a meat bun outside the toilet. One day, he went to drink, but when he was drunk, he walked with a telephone pole and vomited, turning it into steamed bread and becoming good friends with girls. It's simple. Just tell her, and soon you will hear her say "Let's be good friends". . . A little centipede is in a bad mood. His father asked, what's the matter with you? The little centipede said, I said I was afraid you couldn't stand it. Dad: Go ahead, I can stand it. The little centipede shook his 100-odd leg and said, I want to buy brand-name sports shoes on June 1. . . A child asked a rich man, sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: I had nothing like you when I was a child. My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child said thoughtfully, sir, I seem to understand. Mr. millionaire said, you know your sister. Later, when my father died, I inherited all his inheritance. In order to attract business, Hotpot City wrote this sentence on the advertisement of the cat-flapping lamp: "Self-help Hotpot 30 yuan, children under 1 meter are free for everyone." My aunt in kindergarten was very excited after reading it. Holding 30 yuan's money, she led 50 children in her class to Hotpot City. The new edition of the History of the Three Kingdoms was accused of procrastination, and some netizens questioned on the Internet: "The new" History of the Three Kingdoms "is too procrastinating, and the eight episodes of Song Jiang did not appear! ! When can I learn from the Western Heaven? If we can't get the scriptures again, Baoyu and others are anxious. " Little Wolf grew up a vegetarian, not eating meat, not hunting! For this reason, the wolf's parents were very worried and tried every means to make him a real wolf, but all failed! One day, the parents of the wolf were very happy to see the little wolf chasing a rabbit angrily! After catching it, I saw the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and roared with a ferocious face: Shit, I finally caught you, say it quickly! Where did you hide the radish? ! A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: I can only realize one of your wishes. Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. Man: I want a wife ... the magic lamp immediately conjures up a beautiful woman, and then disdains to say: I'm starving and greedy for beauty! Pathetic! Then he disappeared. Man: ... bread. To catch the bus, I finally got one, but I couldn't squeeze it at all. So the driver's big brother said, "I'll start the car first, drive slowly, and you run with the car." I wonder: what does this mean? Run after the car. Seeing that the car had been driving for a few meters, it suddenly braked suddenly, and the passengers on the car couldn't hold their bodies and fell to the front of the car. At this time, the driver's eldest brother proudly greeted me: "Go …" It is said that China had a three-day holiday, and three major events happened in the world: the wedding of Prince William, the explosion of Gaddafi's son, and the killing of bin Laden by the United States. Therefore, some people say that holidays in China can't be taken casually, and people on earth can't afford to get hurt! ! ! To tell the truth, as an otaku, every time I am chased by a male shopkeeper on Taobao, I feel really disgusting, as if I had been kissed. . . . . . . . . What's even more exasperating is that every time I save money, I use a female number to say to the store: "Brother, it's a shame to post it." Brother, it's cheaper. I don't have enough money. A man went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor told him to lie down, put his hand on his abdomen and asked him, "How do you feel?" I feel someone pressing my stomach. . . When the professor is by the river, he often sees two turtles, shrinking and motionless. One day, I couldn't help being curious and asked a farmer: What are these two turtles doing? The farmer said: They are in PK. The professor asked inexplicably, I didn't move P, K or anything. The old farmer said: Who do they live longer than? The professor said: But the one with Oracle Bone Inscriptions on its shell is long dead. At this time, the other one suddenly poked his head out and scolded: MD, don't say a word even if you die! Outside the operating room. "Husband!" "I'm here." "I'm afraid." "Don't be afraid, baby." "Husband, I am like this, you haven't done that for a long time." "Nothing, your health is more important." "After a while, they will see all my places. Do you still love me? " "I've always loved you, baby." "Husband, I love you, too." The nurse in the cart is impatient. "Two big men, do hemorrhoids surgery so slowly! ! At the party, someone introduced me to a new friend, saying that he became a millionaire by speculating in stocks. Wow! Awesome! Admire you! I sat next to him and quietly asked him to teach me the secret. He said to me blankly, "actually, there is no secret ... I used to be a multimillionaire." "The child said to his father, can you carry me home? Dad said, we'll carry you home on the count of three. So they shouted 12 1, 12 1 and ran home.