Excerpts of super hilarious jokes

Excerpts of super hilarious jokes

Excerpts of super hilarious jokes. When we were in school, we would excerpt good words and sentences. The excerpts are derived from the ancient way of remembering things. They can be quoted appropriately in compositions. Good words and sentences, good words and sentences can add a lot of color to your composition. Excerpts of super hilarious jokes. A good memory is not as good as a bad writing.

Super hilarious joke excerpt 1

1. The unit is a big tree covered with monkeys. Looking up, it’s all butts, looking down, it’s all smiling faces, and looking left and right, it’s all ears and eyes. !

2. You occupied four seats in the theater lying down. When someone asked you to get up, you only said a few favors and did not move. The security guard came and said: "It's so hateful~ Brother, which road was it on? You gritted your teeth and said: I fell down the aisle upstairs!

3. Patient: I have insomnia. Doctor: These pills, the red color makes them You dreamed of Dehua; white dreamed of Allen; green dreamed of Yunfa. Patient: What if I take them all? Doctor: Then you can see Guorong.

4. A college student was killed by an enemy. After he was caught, the enemy tied him to a telephone pole, and then asked him: Tell me, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I will electrocute you! The college student replied to the enemy, but was electrocuted to death. He said: I am a TV University student. Yes!

5. I heard that you were surrounded and beaten by eight thieves that day. You were stunned and you were not knocked down. It was so hard... I later found out that you were tied to a tree and beaten. Haha!

6. I have a request: Treat me to a meal. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I will write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front: Treat me to a meal. Okay, how about I write a marriage proposal, any conditions apply!

7. I heard that your mobile phone does not have a text message function, so I sent this text message as a test. If you receive it, it confirms that it is a text message function and it was not sent by me. Message, please reply to me: I have it, it’s yours!

8. A woman’s house in another place needed to be renovated, so she asked her boss for a week’s leave. After a week, the house was not renovated, so she had to send a telegram. Extended leave. The boss was shocked when he received the telegram! The telegram said: The sexual intercourse has not been completed, and the leave will be extended for one week.

9. Weather forecast: I will miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning, and I will continue to miss you in the afternoon. Prolonging the impact of low mood, the mood will turn into violent thoughts in the evening, and the mood will drop by five degrees. It is expected that this kind of weather will continue until I see you.

10. A: "The new neighbor is so disgusting. They came over and rang my doorbell in the middle of the night last night." B: "Did you call the police?" A: "No. I thought they were crazy and continued to blow my trumpet."

11. A man and a woman dated soon and announced their marriage. During the bridal chamber, everyone asked why they were getting married so soon. The man replied: "I have figured it out." The woman replied: "I have thought about it."

12. The teacher was doing a family survey, and he asked Xiaoqiang: Do you have a biological brother? I saw Xiaoqiang’s head bending towards his crotch with great effort... After a while: Teacher, I really can’t kiss you!

13. When you see By the time this text message came out, you had already been poisoned by an extremely violent love. The only antidote is to marry me. No need to think about it, let’s get married!

14. Bajie meets Yuelao and asks: Damn it !Yue Lao! Why are you separating me from Gao Jia Yulan? Yue Lao said: She is a human and you are a monster. I am afraid that your child will be born a human monster.

15. The world knows that you have great martial arts skills, but you can’t be proud. When you have a sword among people, a person among swords, and people and swords become one, once you achieve this, you will no longer be a human being. Sword man! Sword man! Sword man!

16. The young couple quarreled and threw a pillow from upstairs. A beggar happened to be passing by, and he was very happy. A moment later, the quilt flew down again, and the beggar was ecstatic. So he wiped his tears and shouted to the people upstairs: Brother, do a good job and throw that woman down too!

17. The vampire bat came back covered in blood. The bats were very envious and asked him Where did it find so much blood? It took the bats to a big tree and asked: Have you seen the big tree? Everyone answered: Yes. It: He **, I didn’t see it.

18. Before a monkey eats peanuts, he has to stuff them into his butt and then take them out to eat. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it a peach, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey was frightened. Now it must be measured before eating.

19. A man had a thick and big neck and had no choice but to seek medical treatment.

The doctor asked why? The man replied: "I had sex with my wife last night and took two aphrodisiac pills, but they got stuck in my throat."

20. If you cry, I would like to be the toilet paper in your hand "If you wake up, I would like to be the eye dung in your eyes; if you are so hot, I would like to be the only three feet of cloth left on your body." Excerpt 2 of super hilarious jokes

1. Dear people who have difficulty working: You struggled for 11 minutes at work this time. You have defeated 10% of office workers in the country. There is another office worker next door who continues to struggle with work and is starting to get over it again. The building next door is all down!

2. I am in a hurry to go to work, I have a cup of soy milk, and I am nervous after get off work. The road is like a parking lot, and I feel so cold in my workplace. I have not yet warmed up to the year-end bonus. I am all devoted to my mother-in-law. It is hard to find a partner, and resources are tight. When will I feel better?

3. Life in the senior year is full of tastes, flattery, girls have no choice but to cheat, boys have no choice but to bribe, parents are busy, relatives are in trouble, money is wasted on giving gifts and guests, and leaders have no morals With a swipe of the pen, I went behind the scenes to gain experience. My senior brother looked down at me and my sister slandered me. I was homeless in the cold winter and hot summer. I had irregular menstruation and sagging breasts. I had urinary incontinence and my kidneys needed to be doubled. I was worried about getting a degree before it was too late. Throughout the four years of true love, I have been with you on the road to graduation, sharing the same joys and sorrows, advancing and retreating together. Youth is priceless and youth is guiltless. Even if there are millions of depressions and bitterness, leave them behind. Happy New Year

4. For you, I became crazy; for you, I became a machine; for you, I began to grow old slowly. Do I live for work or do I live by work. Work is not easy!

5. I went to apply for the job and was the last one to get in. I didn’t wear glasses because everyone said I looked very good without glasses. When I walked in, there seemed to be a banknote on the ground. I picked it up and saw that it was waste paper. I blushed and quickly threw it into the trash can. The boss immediately stood up and said, "You are the only one who picked up the waste paper and threw it into the trash can. This shows that your People with a strong sense of public welfare are what we want.”

6. The director informed all staff to hold a meeting at 8:00 tomorrow morning. Xiao Wang and Xiao Li were chatting happily and making a lot of noise. Afterward, ask the director when the meeting will take place. The director felt unhappy and said: "Thirteen o'clock!" The meeting was held on time at eight o'clock the next day. Xiao Wang and Xiao Li were absent. The director immediately asked someone to inform him. Xiao Wang and Xiao Li were confused: "Didn't we agree on 13 o'clock?"

7. Once in the office, colleagues were discussing the magic trick of swallowing silver coins. Colleague A was amazed that the coins could come out of his pocket after entering them through his mouth. Colleague B immediately interrupted and said: "What does this mean? I swallow it."

8. I really want to sing "Dang" to my boss: when there is no end to the work tasks, when the salary keeps flowing away, when lunch and dinner are mixed up, and when holidays are just a break For nothing, I still can't break up with you, I can't break up with you!

9. An employee in the office posted Weibo on QQ while I was at work. The manager saw it and asked angrily: "Why are you posting Weibo on QQ during working hours?" The employee replied: "I'm sorry. , Manager, I am promoting our products online.”

10. The greatest sorrow in life is: working overtime but not being paid in arrears. The greatest regret in life is: working overtime but not getting overtime pay. , the greatest sorrow in life is: wages are paid on time, overtime pay is also given, but the money is still not enough!

11. It’s lunch time, and Xiao Wang and Xiao Li go to get food. The dish of the day was stir-fried cauliflower with broccoli. When Xiao Li saw the vegetables, he said angrily: "What a shame, the vegetables are not cooked yet!" Xiao Wang was surprised, and Xiao Li then said: "Look at these cauliflowers, they are not cooked yet, they are still green!"

12. Counting the days in life, I am the gray wolf who works every day! Prices are rising and expensive, and I look forward to my salary every month. I finally look forward to receiving my salary, and I am happy to dedicate it to my wife! I'm still a tired gray wolf.

13. Tomorrow will you think of every bit of work? Tomorrow will you still remember that you were the one who loved your work the most? People in the world can’t remember you who couldn’t hand over work; I It was also by chance that I looked through my diary and remembered you at work.

14. Looking back, the work is too tiring. Looking back, the work is too hard. There will be no more tonight. The old dreams that are hard to let go. The dreams that I once had with you have been blown away by work.

Looking back again, the work has arrived. Looking back again, I feel that the time is too little. Leave your work behind and accompany me to work!

15. Six important things to do in the workplace: applaud the leader when he speaks, don’t be present when the leader is corrupt, book a room quickly when the leader picks up girls, eat meat when the leader eats soup, and treat the mistress as your own mother.

16. On that January day of that year, during the job interview, the examiner asked me what year I graduated. He was originally going to say 2000, but he got excited and said: "Two thousand years ago..." What's even more shocking is that the examiner actually said, "A student of Confucius." On this day of this month, I wish you not to be excited during the interview and have a good start in your career.

17. The work is too tiring and the idle time is boring. If you have nothing to do, be a companion and earn a little tip. Unexpectedly, the boss was too stingy and said my price was too expensive. He agreed to accompany me because of my flattery. Unexpectedly, one day, he asked me for taxes. I couldn't bear it anymore and issued a national note. The oppressed workers rose up and asked the black-hearted The boss rubs the buddy's back.

18. Tomorrow will you remember every bit of your work? Tomorrow will you still think about you who once loved your work the most? People in the world can’t remember you who couldn’t deliver your work; I It was only when I occasionally looked through my diary that I remembered you at work!

19. The sky is blue and the sea is blue. It’s annoying to have no money in your pocket. I worked a job for two and a half days, and then the business was over. After working as a stall owner for a year, I had no money left, so I learned to go around in circles with the urban management. I teamed up with others to sell garlic, but I didn't expect the market to collapse. Frustrated, I had to go to work again. The salary was small and the pay was very slow. Fortunately, the beautiful woman at the table was very eye-catching. She called me "big brother" every day to make you happy.

20. If you feel sleepy at work, you will be energetic after work; if you are dazed at work, you will be smart after get off work; if you are distressed at work, you will laugh after get off work. Hey! Don’t think about it, it’s almost noon, let’s think about what to eat for lunch. Although the work is hard, don’t make our stomachs suffer anymore!