Humorous literary jokes

1. The matchmaker complained to Yue Lao: "Grandpa, fewer and fewer people come to our Yue Lao Temple now." Old Yue sighed, "They all went to worship the land temple." The matchmaker was puzzled: "Why?" Yue Lao patted her on the head and said, "People are in charge of real estate. How can you keep the red line without a house? "

2. The hedgehog pricked the hedgehog and broke up. It moved on and fell in love with the tortoise. Wei Wei asked, "Tell me why?" . The thorn thorn said, "We haven't hugged for so long, but the tortoise is not afraid of pricking."

3. The golf club loves table tennis deeply, but it is rejected when expressing its love. The golf club roared, "Why? What is all this for? " Table tennis said timidly, "My mother said that men with hooked noses are not good men."

The snake loves the tortoise deeply, but it is rejected when it expresses its love. The snake roared, "Why? Why on earth is this? " The tortoise said timidly, "My mother said that poverty is nothing, and I can't even afford a vest. It is definitely not a good thing to wear nothing every day. "

Nothing is better than squatting on the toilet to shit in the early morning, and the water splashed by the falling poop hits the chrysanthemum.

6. The so-called holiday means a holiday, which means a day off and a week off.

Walk around on Sunday

Three days, fool you! Even the national day and the spring festival are actually only on.

Three days! Misappropriating the vacation that originally belonged to you to fool you!

I feel my spring is coming. Because more than one girl once said to me, "You want me to marry you until the end of the world!" "

8. When reviewing, I found other people's heads, including printers, tape recorders and digital cameras. Just my head. It's a soymilk machine.

9. Due to the severe employment situation, several popular majors have been set up in major universities. For example: cake cutting engineering, cake cutting science and technology, cake cutting processing and manufacturing, cake cutting automation, cake cutting design, cake cutting science, clinical cake cutting, modern history of cake cutting, organic cake cutting, etc.

X. Weibo has a function of "blowing". It's boring to go to the toilet. I'm going to try Weibo. Because in the toilet, the network is unstable and always breaks down, so we can only keep blowing and blowing. Just when I was happy, a sentence came from next door: "It's too hot to eat?"

Eleven. I have a golden retriever at home, and I usually do something wrong. As soon as we taught him a lesson, he behaved obediently and looked aggrieved. I've been pregnant for a month recently, and now I'm going to train. This product is just for my stomach to dry. This product goes against the sky. ...

12. A picture resembling a chest caused a heated discussion in Weibo: "drooping", "a little outward expansion" and "asymmetry". Small on the left and big on the right ","too far away "and" this is the ass " ...

Thirteen. There is an expectation of waiting for takeout, and there is a dependence called screwing the bottle cap. There is a kind of love called Gao Fushuai and a kind of injury called ugliness.

Eight eccentrics have a kind of elimination called feeling good shanzhai, and a kind of failure called a little surprise. There is sadness that I can't find wifi, and there is helplessness that the weekend passes too fast. ...

Fourteen. Now many websites are liars. When you open it, you must jump out of a very dirty game. This is not the key, the key is that after the game goes in, all the dirty elements are gone! Why not get dirty to the end? Are there any netizens who are dissatisfied with this situation? !

15. What just happened today ... The unit toilet was full, and a colleague shouted outside. Can you hurry up? My shit is in my throat.

Sixteen. Last Christmas,

Idiot roommate hung a sock on the bed last night. When he got up this morning, he found his socks bulging. He was very excited to reach in and dig it out. Then, then, he shouted excitedly, "The second time … which king is this?"

Eight calves put melon seeds in Lao Tzu's socks! "

17. Just last Christmas Eve, I pursued

The five-year-old goddess accepted me.

I bought Red Fuji for ten yuan and promised to be my girlfriend. Then we kissed, and at the moment when our lips touched, my mother woke me up for dinner. ...

18. I was eating in the restaurant when suddenly an elder sister came over and smelled of all kinds of perfume. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to eat at all. After much deliberation, I finally had to take off my shoes.

Nineteen. "Sir, may I borrow your leg?" A little dog asked. "yes." Men are very polite. "Thank you!" The puppy leaned against the man's lap and peed happily.

two

It's been a year since I broke up with Tenuto and my predecessor, but I still can't help but go downstairs again today. I burst into tears when wifi automatically linked to her home. Then I clicked on thunder. ...