Humorous stories (Mark Twain)

Mark Twain received a letter. This was written by a young man who wanted to ask Mark Twain how to become a great writer. The letter said, "I heard that fish contains a lot of phosphorus, which is good for the brain." It seems that to be a great writer, you must eat a lot of fish, right? But I don't know what fish you ate and how much did you eat? " Mark Twain wrote back: "It seems that you have to eat a whale."

(1) In response to a reporter's question at the reception, Mark Twain said, "Some congressmen are sons of bitches."

The reporter made his words public, and members of Congress in Washington insisted that Mark Twain publish a fact in the newspaper and apologize. So Mark Twain wrote this notice: "In the past, when I spoke at a banquet, I said that some congressmen were sons of bitches. After careful consideration, I found this statement inappropriate and untrue. I specially made a statement in the newspaper and revised it to read: Some congressmen are not sons of bitches.

(3) By chance, Mark Twain and the speaker John M Debiao were invited to attend the same dinner.

At the beginning of the speech, Johnsy M. Debiao was eloquent and emotional. He spoke for 20 minutes and won warm applause. Then it was Mark Twain's turn to make a speech.

Mark Twain stood up and said sadly, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm really sorry. Before the meeting, Mr. Johnsy M. Debiao asked me to exchange speeches, so what you just heard was my speech. I sincerely thank you for your careful listening and enthusiastic support. " However, somehow, I can't find Mr. Johnsy M. Debiao's speech, so I can't speak for him. Please forgive me for sitting down. "

(4) French celebrity Bogart made fun of the short history of Americans, saying that "Americans often like to miss their ancestors when they are free, but when they think of their ancestors, they can't help but stop."

Mark Twain hit back: "When the French are free, they always want to find out who their father is, but it is difficult to find out."