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"How did you become a mother?" A casual word hurts a caring mother
Author\Little Sheep Beibei
"How do you take care of yourself? A child can take care of himself like this, and he often catches a cold."
My natal mother As soon as I walked in, this was the first thing I said. At that time, the child was less than one year old. He had gastroenteritis and had just vomited milk all over the floor. He was not given any medicine. He waved his little hands wildly and spilled the medicine all over the floor. In the past few days, he had vomiting and diarrhea, and it had been raining for days. There was no time to wash or dry the clothes; I had no choice but to ask my mother to urgently buy me some clothes and deliver them so that I could help my child change into them and rush to the hospital for a second emergency call.
The floor was covered with vomit and potions. My child and I had a daily battle with each other in giving pills. I was anxious and angry, and yelled at a baby: "You won't get better if you don't take the pills!" Why are you so bad! Get rid of the potion, you are so bad, what do you want to do?" I was out of control, and it's normal to lose control when you're a mom, but with a sick kid, everything was even more chaotic.
Then, my mother came in. On the one hand, she felt sorry for her grandson, but most importantly, she was unhappy with me for causing her trouble and wanted her to trouble her father to take her out to buy clothes for the children (of course, this was another case of emotional discord) The mischievous drama of grudges). She started scolding me for not taking good care of my child. She couldn't even take care of a child... It was not the first time I heard these words, but at that time I suddenly said "Wow~" and burst into tears. I shouted to my mother: "You are the best at raising children, and you are the best at being a mother. I have I tried my best... Wu... Wu... I have tried my best..."
Recommended reading: Mothers, please stop reading, not because you are afraid of annoying your children, but for your own good.
Yes, I have really tried my best. I am full of grievances and even more angry. Why should you accuse me!? I have really... tried my best. It’s so difficult to take care of children, do housework, suffer from postpartum depression, and quarrel with your partner! Who said you will take care of your child when he is born? Who says being a mother makes you strong? Everything feels very strenuous and full of frustration for me, and my children just get sick. I have taken really good care of him, adding clothes and quilts, taking probiotics, and keeping the house tidy. But he will get sick.
I was so angry that while helping the child change his clothes, I started to fight back:
"You are so good at taking care of me, then you take care of me! If you can't help, just shut up." You are the best at being a mother. Don’t we all hate you? Everyone wants to run away when they see you, but you are the best.”
How angry I feel is how wronged I am. Normally no one dares to ignite the grievances between mother and daughter that have lasted for thirty years. Today I am full of fire and sharp words. You provoked me first and I will not be polite.
She didn't reply, because her father was waiting impatiently downstairs. The car must have been turned off, so she had to go downstairs quickly. Then I carried the baby on my chest and the heavy mother's bag on my back, like a well-equipped hiker on a long march, called a taxi and ran to the hospital... Everything after that was very blurry, seeing a doctor, getting well, getting sick, seeing a doctor, getting well. Then, as the child grew older, the number of illnesses became much less.
The image of a "mother" comes from my mother. After I became a mother, she most often criticized me: "How do you become a mother?"
Before graduating from high school in my country, she did not buy breakfast out more than five times. She got up at five o'clock every day to make breakfast and never got up late. Dinner consisted of four dishes and one soup. She had removed the bones from the fish she had eaten in elementary school. Even when I was in college, she would come to my room in the middle of the night and turn on the lights to kill mosquitoes. Even if I said I didn’t want to eat the fruit, she would peel it, cut it, and put it in front of me. If I didn’t eat it, she would scold me loudly, “I’ve already put it in front of you and you still don’t eat it! You are so lucky.” "Also, the clothes on my body are always white and clean. She is a near-perfect mother. This is why she doesn't like the way I raise my children.
Recommended reading: A child is said to be stingy if he doesn’t want to lend out toys, so isn’t it also stingy for adults not to lend money to others?
However, there are always two sides to the story. We have heard since childhood, "I don't want to get divorced because of you."
My brother and sister did not do well in exams, and she threw cold water on them when they took a shower in winter. As a senior classmate at the time, I could only be so scared that I could only listen to their screams outside. And when I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, she failed to hang herself in front of us. These…certainly were not the part where she taught me how to be a mother….
I am really not a typical good mother. I don’t know how to cook. I also order non-staple food online. I don’t bring children’s tableware when I go out. I don’t know how to prepare baby porridge. When the child climbs up and down, I just watched him fall and let him know the pain and be careful next time. The cherries taught him how to spit out their seeds, and the grapes taught him how to peel them. It's not that I'm lazy, but I don't agree with how meticulous it is. This kind of parenting style is not recognized by most of my mother friends, let alone my mother.
As a mother, I really tried my best. I can confidently say: "This is the most serious thing I have done in my life." I reflect and think all the time. How can I do better next time, but I really can't be as meticulous and caring as my mother.
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