Hai, how are you? Send a joke.

1 One day after school, a boy followed me all the way and kept pestering me. When I got home, my younger brother saw this and volunteered to chase him away. The younger brother went out and shouted: You are so ignorant, you have fallen in love with my sister!

2 The manager of a movie theater often goes to a restaurant to eat. Every time he finishes eating, he does not pay, but takes out a few movie tickets to offset the bill. On this day, he came to the restaurant again and ordered a piece of scrambled eggs, but the restaurant owner said that there were no eggs for the time being. The manager shouted: "Why are there no eggs?" The boss said: "The chickens have gone to watch movies, how can they have time to lay eggs!"

3 Two friends were playing golf on the golf course, and one of them was about to swing. When I was playing, I saw a long funeral procession coming on the road next to the golf course. So he stopped mid-swing, took off his ball cap, closed his eyes, and bent down to pray. His friend said, "Oh, this is the most considerate and touching thing I have ever seen. You are such a good person!" The man replied, "Yeah, we have been married for 35 years."

4 A general noticed that a soldier was behaving strangely. He always picked up any paper he could find, frowned and said, "Not this" and put the paper back. After a period of time passed like this, the general arranged a psychological test for the soldiers. Psychologists concluded that the soldier was insane. So he wrote a diagnosis and wanted to expel him from the military. The soldier checked the medical certificate and said with a smile: "This is it."

Humorous joke: A: "The last time we fought, I cut off the heads of three enemies." B: "What's so strange about me? "Cut off the legs of eight enemies." A: "Then why don't you cut off their heads?" B: "They all have no heads, so how can I cut them off?" While patrolling, I met a man who came home late and called himself a scholar. The military attache said: "Since you are a scholar, let me give you a test." The scholar said: "Please come up with a question." The military attache thought for a long time, but could not think of a question, so he shouted: "It's really easy for you. Fortunately, I can't think of a question." Ask a question. "

1. A certain rich man was extremely stingy and only used salt water for his three meals a day. Someone walked over and told him: "Your son is out there whoring and gambling, spending money like water! Are you still so frugal?" When the rich man heard this, he said with a heartbeat: "Okay! I will buy a piece of tofu every meal from now on, and enjoy it." ..""

2. Customer: Master! When I buy ten pounds of eggs, I want them all to be small. Salesperson: Everyone else wants big ones. Why do you want small ones? The customer whispered: I sell pancakes.

3. Someone knocked on the door of a miser’s house, and the miser asked: “What are you doing? "The man said: "Please give me a glass of water! The miser brought him a glass of milk. The man felt very strange and said, "People say you are stingy, but I think you are quite generous. You actually gave me a glass of milk." "The miser sighed and said, "If a mouse didn't fall into the glass of milk, I wouldn't even give you a glass of water. "

Latest joke: Buyer: Can it be cheaper? Seller: Dear, no. Buyer: Can it include free shipping? Seller: Free shipping and cheap are the same thing, express delivery is not run by my family. Buyer: It’s still 10 yuan for such a short distance. Seller: The starting price is the same regardless of the distance.

1. There are three rich people competing to see who is richer. One said: My servants all drive BMWs. . Another said: The BMW is just my garbage truck. The last one said: I help the old lady cross the road every day. The other two said enviously: Brother, you are still rich.

2. One day. I was walking on the road with my classmates and saw a girl carrying a rabbit. The classmate asked me, "Do you know why girls like to raise rabbits?" "I don't know, why?" The classmate smiled obscenely: "So they can buy carrots blatantly.