Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Selected ancient classical Chinese texts
Selected ancient classical Chinese texts
1. Here are some classic classical Chinese articles
Travel Notes on a Banquet in the Western Mountains (Liu Zongyuan)
Since I was a murderer, I lived in this state and was always worried. If there is a gap, then you can give and go, wandering in a long way. One day, he and his disciples went up high mountains, into deep forests, and back to streams. There were secluded springs and strange rocks all the way. When they arrived, they would sit down with grass draped over them, pour the pot over and get drunk. When they were drunk, they would lie down on each other's pillows and dream. The meaning is extreme, and the dream is also of the same interest. When you wake up, you get up and when you get up, you return. I thought that all the strange things in the mountains in the state were due to me, but I didn't realize the strangeness of the Xishan Mountains.
On September 28th this year, I was sitting in the Western Pavilion of the Lotus and looking at the Western Mountains, and I started to notice something different. Then he ordered his servants to cross the Xiangjiang River, cut the hazel bushes, burn the grass and grass, and stop at the height of the poor mountains. If you climb up with a hand and fly with a skip, all the soil in several states will be under the skip mat. Its high and low position is as complicated as a cave, thousands of miles in size, and it is impossible to escape. It is green and white, and the sky is the same outside. Then I realized that this is a unique mountain, not similar to Pei* (Tulu). You are as long as you are with the high energy, but you don't know where it ends; you are like wandering with the Creator, but you don't know where it ends. After drinking a glass of wine, I became slumped and drunk. I didn't know the sun was coming in. The pale twilight came from afar, and I couldn't see anything, but I still didn't want to go back. The heart condenses the form and releases it, and merges with all things. Then I knew that I had not started to travel to it, but it had just begun, so I wrote about it with ambition.
It is the year of Suiyuan and the fourth year.
Translation:
Ever since I became a reviled person living in this state, I have often been frightened. In my free time, I walked slowly and traveled aimlessly. Every day I went to high mountains, deep forests, and winding streams with my colleagues and friends. Wherever there are secluded springs and strange rocks, no matter how far away they are, they can't be reached. As soon as they arrive, they will push aside the thatch, sit down, pour out the wine from the pot, and get drunk to their heart's content. When they are drunk, they will sleep on each other's pillows, and make love while they are asleep. When a dream comes, whatever comes to mind will be there; when you wake up, you get up, and when you get up, you go home. I thought that all the strange features of the mountains and rivers in this state were owned and appreciated by me, but I never knew the weirdness and uniqueness of Xishan.
On September 28 this year, I started to point at it and praise its wonders because I was sitting in the Lotus Pavilion and looking at the Western Mountains. So he ordered his servants to cross the Xiangjiang River and cut down the dense vegetation and burn the dense thatch along the Ran River until they reached the top of the mountain. Then, we climbed up the mountain, stretched out our legs and sat down to admire the scenery. We saw the land of all the states under our cushions. Their situation is: the peaks are towering, the valleys are sunken, some are like small mounds, and some are like caves; the scenery thousands of miles away is close to you, all kinds of scenery gather and shrink together, and there is no way to escape or hide in it. Out of sight; green mountains and white water intertwined with each other, the scenery out of sight is connected to the sky, looking the same in all directions. Then I realized that the mountain's towering appearance was not the same as the hills. The mind is endlessly integrated with the atmosphere between heaven and earth, no one knows their boundaries; boundless, playing with nature, not knowing their end. I picked up the wine glass and filled it with wine. I was so drunk that I didn't know that the sun was setting. The dim evening comes from afar, and when it comes, you can't see anything, but you don't want to go home yet. His mind was frozen, his form dissipated, and he merged quietly with all things. Then I realized that my previous tours could not be counted as tours, and the real tour only started from this time. So I wrote an article as an account of this trip.
This year is the fourth year of Yuanhe.
The Oil Seller"
Duke Yao Zi of Chen Kangsu was good at shooting, unrivaled in the world, and he was proud of himself. I took a shot in my garden, and there was an oil seller standing there to relieve his burden. He stared at him and would not go away for a long time. Seeing that his arrows hit eighty-nine times out of ten, he nodded slightly.
Kang Su asked: "You also know how to shoot? Am I not good at shooting?" Weng said: "No one else, but I am familiar with it." Kang Su said angrily: "How dare you? "Qingwu shoots!" Weng said: "I will know it when I drink the oil." He took a gourd and placed it on the ground, covered its mouth with money, drained it with a ladle of oil, and put it in through the money hole, but the money was not wet. Because he said: "I don't have him, but I am familiar with it." Kang Su smiled and dismissed him.
Translation:
Chen Yaozi was good at archery. No one in the world could compare with him at that time, and he boasted of this. Once, while he was shooting arrows in his garden, an old oil seller put aside his burden and stood aside, looking at him sideways indifferently, and would not leave for a long time.
When the old man saw that Chen Yaozi's arrows could hit eight or nine out of ten, he just nodded slightly in approval.
Kang Su asked: "You also know how to shoot? Am I not good at shooting?" Weng said: "No one else, but I am familiar with it." Kang Su said angrily: "How dare you? "Qingwu shoots!" Weng said: "I will know it when I drink the oil." He took a gourd and placed it on the ground, covered its mouth with money, drained it with a ladle of oil, and put it in through the money hole, but the money was not wet. Because he said: "I don't have him, but I am familiar with it." Kang Su smiled and dismissed him.
Kang Sugong asked: "Can you also shoot? Aren't I also very good at archery?" The old man said: "There is no other secret, it's just that you are familiar with it." After hearing this, Su Gong said angrily: "How dare you underestimate my archery skills!" The old man said: "I can understand this truth based on my experience in pouring oil." So the old man took a gourd and put it on the ground, using copper coins. Cover its mouth and slowly pour the oil into the gourd with a ladle. The oil is poured in through the holes of the copper coins without getting the coins wet. The old man said: "There is no secret to my craftsmanship, it's just that I'm familiar with it." Seeing this, Chen Yaozi had no choice but to send the old man away with a smile. 2. A selection of short jokes in ancient classical Chinese
Ridiculing the two-fold mountain of selling a contract
The Hushu family was poor and had to pay off debts, so they had to take care of their mustaches. Just because he has no way to make a living, he is willing to borrow money from the central government. The boundaries are from the nostrils and philtrum to the throat. The four locations are clearly defined. The temples are loose and the hair is loose. There are real beards and no adulteration. If it is not redeemed after the expiration date, it will be sold as a pig. It is filled in every year, month and day, with a heavy egg bag in between.
One person in He Lengbi saw the spring mood in a book and said: "This is not a spring painting, but a summer painting. Otherwise, why would you be naked?" Another person said: "This is not a summer painting, but a winter painting. He asked, "Why?" He replied, "You don't see every bearded person scratching his or her pen." You have become an official, flag and umbrella steward, and you are shouting in unison, so majestic." Huzi was overjoyed. The man also said: "I scolded you in my dream, and you called Zaoli to come and beat me, but I grabbed your beard." Huzi said: "If you scolded an official, you deserved to be beaten. What happened next?" "The man said: "I woke up just now. When I woke up, I still grabbed a handful of egg hairs with one hand and held on tightly. Classic Chinese Poetry and Prose, Suitable
1 "Viewing the Cutting Wheat" Bai Juyi's Tian family has a few free months, but in May people are twice as busy.
The south wind blows at night, and the wheat is covered with yellow. The women carry baskets for food, and the children carry pots of pulp.
I went with him to the salary field, and Ding Zhuang was in Nangang. The foot is steaming and rustic, and the back is burning in the sky.
I am too exhausted to know the heat, but it is a pity that the summer is long. There is also a poor woman with a child beside her.
The right hand holds the earrings, and the left arm hangs a basket. Hearing his words of care makes those who hear them feel sad.
The taxes on the family fields have been exhausted, and this is left to satisfy the hunger. What merit do I have now? I have never been engaged in farming and mulberry trees.
The salary of an official is three hundred stones, and there is more than enough food every year. I feel ashamed thinking about this, and I will never forget it.
2 "Drinking Alone Under the Moon" Li Bai has a pot of wine among the flowers, drinking alone without any blind date. Raise your glass to invite the bright moon, and look at each other as three people.
The moon does not know how to drink, but its shadow follows me. For now, the moon will be shadowed, and we must have fun until spring.
My song is lingering in the moon, my dancing shadows are chaotic. They make love together when they are awake, but they separate when they are drunk.
We will travel together forever, and we will meet each other in Miao Yunhan. "The Charcoal Seller" by Bai Juyi The charcoal seller cut down firewood to burn charcoal in the southern mountains.
His face was dusty and smoky, his temples were gray and his fingers were black. Where do you make money from selling charcoal? The clothes on your body and the food in your mouth.
Poor, I am wearing only plain clothes, and I am worried that the weather will be cold. At night, there is a foot of snow outside the city, and at dawn, the charcoal cart rolls over the ice tracks.
The cows were trapped and the people were hungry. The sun was getting high and they rested in the mud outside the south gate of the city. Who is Pian Pian riding here? The messenger in yellow is in white.
Holding the document in his hand and pronouncing the edict orally, he returned to the carriage and shouted at the oxen to lead them north. A cart of charcoal weighs more than a thousand kilograms, and the palace envoys will regret it.
Half a piece of red gauze and one foot of silk are fastened to the cow's head and filled with charcoal. 4. A selection of short jokes in ancient classical Chinese
The question is inappropriate.
Available online and in bookstores. For example: Joke Yidan Original Text A scholar was about seventy years old when he suddenly gave birth to a son.
Born because of age, it is called age. Not long after, another son was born, who seemed to be able to read and learn knowledge.
The following year, another son was born.
Laughing and saying: 62616964757a686964616fe58685e5aeb931333365643661 "It's a joke to have a baby at such an old age."
Because of the name, it was called "a joke." The three of them were old and had nothing to do, so they all ordered to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they returned, my husband asked He said: "Which of the three sons has more firewood?" The wife said: "You are old, but you have no knowledge at all, and you have a lot of jokes."
Translation: There is a scholar who is nearly seventy years old. The wife suddenly gave birth to a son. Because he was old, he gave birth to a son, so he named him "Jiu". Not long after, another son was born. He looked like a scholar, so he named him "Xuewen".
Another son was born in the third year. The scholar laughed and said: "It's a joke that you can still have a son at such an old age." So he named it "Joke".
When the three sons grew up and had nothing to do, the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife: "Who among the three can collect more firewood?" The wife said: "You are older. If you have a lot of knowledge, you have no knowledge at all, but you have a lot of jokes. "Snobbish people will avoid them every time they are in trouble.
When a fellow traveler asked him why, he replied: "I gave up my relatives." This happened again and again, and the traveler got tired of it.
I met a beggar by chance, and tried to evade him, saying: "I want to give up my marriage." He asked: "Why do you have this order to marry me?" He said: "But the good ones are all recognized by you."
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Translation: There was a vain man. When he went out and saw dignitaries passing by, he stayed away. People traveling with him asked him why he did this, and he said, "That's my relative."
This happened many times, and every time he did this, people traveling with him found it annoying. Later, suddenly I met a beggar on the road. The people who were traveling with him imitated his behavior and hid aside, saying, "That beggar is my relative."
The vain person asked, "You How come you have such poor relatives?" The person traveling with me said, "Because you have recognized all the good things." People from the original text of eating olives went to the city to have a drink, and there were olives in the banquet.
The country people tasted it, but it was astringent and tasteless, so they asked the people sitting at the table: "What is this?" As a name, he remembered it and told people: "I tasted a strange thing in the city today, and I named it 'Su'."
The crowd didn't believe it, but the person opened his mouth and exhaled and said: "You don't believe it. , Nowadays, everything is vulgar." Translation: A farmer went to the city for a banquet, and there were olives in the banquet.
The farmer took it to his mouth and ate it. It was both astringent and unpalatable, so he asked the people at the table: "What is this?" The people at the table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously: "Vulgar. The farmer thought that "Cu" was the name of olives, so he kept it in his mind and told people after returning home: "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called 'Cu'."
Everyone. The farmer didn't believe it, so he opened his mouth and said, "You don't believe it, now I'm talking about vulgarity." The original text of the mocking joker was to let a guest have lunch, but the guest had already finished the whole bowl, and there was no more food.
The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale." So he turned the mouth of the bowl to the host and said: "The rafters are also this big."
The host Seeing that there was no rice in the bowl, he called out to the boy to add more food. Because he asked the guest: "How much is he worth?" The guest said: "Now that I have food to eat, I won't sell it."
Translation: A man invited a guest to have lunch, and the guest had already finished a bowl. , no one helped him. The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale."
Then he deliberately pointed the mouth of the bowl towards the host and said: "The rafters are also as thick as the mouth of the bowl." The host saw the bowl. There was no food in the house, so he hurriedly called the servant to bring him more food.
Then he asked the guest: "How much did he sell it for?" The guest replied: "Now that I have food to eat, I won't sell it." Lies Original Text Some people are used to lying.
His servants will be round in every generation. One day, he said to someone: "A well in my house was blown by the strong wind to the house next door yesterday."
Everyone thought it had never happened before. Pu Yuanzhi said: "It's true.
My well is close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was strong last night. I saw the fence blowing over the well, but it was like the well blowing over the neighbor's house. "One day, he said to others: "Someone shot a goose with a bowl of rice soup on his head."
The crowd was surprised again. Pu Yuan said: "This is also the case.
My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly a goose fell down and its head fell into the bowl. Could it be that the goose was holding noodle soup on its head? "One day.
He also said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the heaven and earth tightly without any gaps. The servant raised his eyebrows and said, "Master, how can I cover up this lie?" "
Translation There was a man who was used to telling lies, and his servants always lied for him. One day, he said to people: "A well in my house was blown by the strong wind to the house next door yesterday. "
Everyone thought that such a thing had never happened before. His servant justified his lie and said: "It is true that such a thing happened. My well is close to the neighbor's fence. It was windy last night. Blowing the fence to the well is like blowing the well to the neighbor's house. "
One day, he said to someone again: "Someone shot down a goose with a bowl of rice soup on his head. "Everyone was very surprised and didn't believe what he said.
His servant justified his lie again and said: "It happened too. My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly, a goose fell down. , the goose's head happened to fall into the bowl, doesn't it mean that the goose's head is carrying powdered soup? "Another day, he said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the heaven and earth tightly, without any gaps. After hearing this, the servant frowned in embarrassment and said, "Master has gone too far. He is telling such a big lie. How can I cover it up?" "
Li Shui Xuetai Original text A scholar's servant peed on the baby and did not urinate for a long time. He was frightened and said: "Xue Tai is here. "The baby immediately peed.
The scholar asked why and replied: "I saw you scholars dismounting from the stage and being so frightened that they peed and pooped out. I know this. The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect that this baby could inherit his father's ambition and be a scholar. I didn't expect that this school platform could benefit from the small water and help with defecation." "
Translation: The servant of the scholar's family held the baby to urinate, but the child did not urinate for a long time. The servant frightened him and said: "Xuetai is coming. "
The doll peed immediately. The scholar asked him why and replied: "I saw that your scholar was so frightened that he peed and pooped when he heard that the academy was coming, so I scared him like this. "
The scholar sighed and said: "I never thought that this baby could inherit his father's ambition and continue his scholarly pursuit; let alone that. 5. What are the classic Chinese poems?
1 "Viewing the Cutting of Wheat" by Bai Juyi
The Tian family has few leisure months, but in May people are even busier. At night, the south wind blows, and the wheat is covered with yellow.
The women carry baskets of food, and the children carry pots of pulp. When I went to the salary field, Ding Zhuang was in Nangang.
The feet are full of rustic heat, and the back is scorching with the scorching sky. I’m exhausted and don’t know how hot it is, but I’m glad the summer is long.
There is a poor woman with her baby next to her. The right hand holds the earrings, and the left arm hangs a basket.
Hearing his words of care makes those who hear them feel sad. When all the taxes on the family fields are exhausted, this is left to satisfy the hunger.
What merit do I have now? I once did not work in farming and mulberry trees. The official salary is three hundred stones, and Yan has more than enough food every year.
I feel ashamed when I think of this, and I will never forget it.
2 "Drinking Alone under the Moon" by Li Bai
A pot of wine among the flowers, drinking alone without any blind date.
Raise your glass to the bright moon, and look at each other as three people.
The moon does not know how to drink, but its shadow follows me.
For the time being, the moon will be shadowed, and we must have fun until spring.
My singing moon lingers, my dancing shadows are scattered.
They make love together when they are awake, but they separate when they are drunk.
We will travel together forever, and we will meet each other in Miao Yunhan.
"The Charcoal Seller" by Bai Juyi
The Charcoal Seller cut firewood to burn charcoal in the southern mountains.
His face was dusty and smoky, his temples were gray and his fingers were black.
Where do you get money from selling charcoal? The clothes on your body and the food in your mouth.
Poor, I am wearing only plain clothes, and I am worried that the weather will be cold.
There is a foot of snow outside the city at night, and at dawn the charcoal cart rolls over the ice tracks.
The cows were trapped and the people were hungry, so they rested in the mud outside the south gate of the city.
Who are the two Pian Pian cavalry coming? The messenger in yellow is in white.
Holding the document in his hand and pronouncing the edict orally, he returned to the carriage and shouted at the oxen to lead them north.
A cart of charcoal weighs more than a thousand kilograms, and the palace envoy will regret it.
Half a piece of red gauze and one foot of silk are fastened to the cow's head and filled with charcoal.
6. Looking for a Chinese classic (ancient text) of about 200 words
Liu Yuxi - Inscription on a Humble House
If a mountain is not high, it will be famous if there are immortals. If the water is not deep, if there is a dragon, it will be spiritual. This is a humble house, but I am virtuous. The moss marks are green on the upper steps, and the grass color is green on the curtains. There are scholars who talk and laugh, but there are no idle people when coming and going. You can tune the plain Qin and read the Golden Sutra. There are no messy ears of silk and bamboo, and there is no laborious shape of case documents. Zhugelu in Nanyang, Yunting in Western Shuzi. Confucius said: "What a shame?"
Li Bai_Preface to a Spring Night Banquet in the Peach and Plum Garden
Heaven and earth are the reverse journey of all things; time is the passer-by of hundreds of generations. And the floating life is like a dream, how much joy is there? The ancients held a candle and walked at night, which was a good thing. Kuang Yangchun called me to see the smoke and scenery, and the large piece of fake me to write articles. A garden filled with peaches and plums, a prelude to family happiness. All the handsome people in the season are Huilian; we sing songs and feel happy alone. The quiet appreciation has not ended, and the high talk has become clear. Sitting on the flowers at the Qiong Banquet, flying in the wine cup and drunk with the moon. Without good works, how can one express his elegance? If the poem fails, the penalty will be the amount of gold, grain, and wine.
Su Shi - A night tour of Chengtian Temple
On the night of October 12th, the sixth year of Yuanfeng, I undressed and was about to fall asleep. The moonlight came into my house and I happily set off. Thinking of nothing and being happy, I went to Chengtian Temple to look for Zhang Huaimin. Huai Min also stayed up and walked with each other in the atrium.
The sky under the courtyard looks like accumulated water. The water is crisscrossed with algae and covered with bamboo and cypress shadows.
What night is there without a moon? Where are there no bamboos or cypresses? But there are few idle people like the two of us.
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