Funny script of campus sketch, the protagonist is 4 men and 2 women, please be quick and answer quickly, plus 100 points.

Participants: Empress Dowager Cixi's beauty 1, 2 (cross-dressing), 3, 4 narrators, bodyguards.

Narrator: The story to be told today happened in a selection of a Mid-Autumn Princess a long time ago. There are gorgeous emperors and gentle and dignified beauties in the story. The name of the story is "The Emperor Choose a Concubine".

The opening song sounded and Cixi joined the ranks of eunuchs.

Cixi (fanning her fan and looking around): It's really lively today. So many people came to see the emperor choose a concubine?

Audience: Yes.

Cixi: What about this emperor? What time is it now? Traffic jam again, right?

Eunuch: Please be calm.

The eunuch helped Cixi sit down and ran to the stage to take out her mobile phone.

Eunuch: Hello?

Eunuch: Your Majesty, where is it?

Emperor: Nanhongmen was blocked.

Eunuch: Is the South Red Gate blocked? Can you come?

Emperor: Never mind. I'll run. I'll be right there.

Eunuch: Hurry up, Lafayette is in a hurry.

The eunuch put away his mobile phone and saluted Lafayette.

Eunuch: Go back to Lafayette. The emperor blocked it with the South Hong Gate.

Cixi: Nanhongmen can be blocked. It's time for traffic control in the Forbidden City.

The music began, and the background sound was "The Emperor is coming". The emperor waved in, followed by bodyguards.

Emperor: Greetings to Lafayette!

Cixi: Hold your head high, Emperor. Where's your dragon robe?

Emperor: Thank you, Galeries Lafayette. I never liked the style of that dress.

Cixi: Oh, then book one for me later.

Eunuch: Report to the Emperor and Empress Dowager that all the beauties are ready. Can we get started?

Cixi: Let's begin.

Emperor: Serve.

Eunuch: The first Mid-Autumn Festival in the Forbidden City begins now.

Narrator: The first beauty, the sharp daughter of Urnala, comes from Zhengbaiqi, Mongolia. She is gentle as water, virtuous and kind, as quiet as a fool and as moving as a rabbit. Also known as Ulanna silly rabbit

Beauty 1: I am a killer who has been wandering the Jianghu for many years. After living in a pool of blood for 20 years, I understand a truth: Jianghu is dangerous, so if you can't leave, you have to leave! So now, I plan to find a stable job. On the same day, I saw the recruitment notice of the emperor choosing a concubine on the 58-city network.

Beauty 1 Turn around and bow before the emperor.

Beauty 1: Your Majesty! This is dedicated to you!

Emperor: No, I have bodyguards.

Beauty 1: I am better than a bodyguard. I hid the weapon.

The emperor motioned the guards behind him to step down.

Emperor: Gesture!

Beauty 1 settled with the bodyguard. The background music suddenly changed from nervous to "two little bees", and the beauty 1 and the bodyguard guessed fists. In the end, the beauty was pushed down by the bodyguard. The bodyguard posed in the direction where the beauty 1 disappeared and returned to his position.

The emperor held the hand of the bodyguard with tears in his eyes.

Emperor: Thank you, brother.

Eunuch: Next.

Narrator: The second beauty is a beauty from South Korea, Nora's little moon. She is wearing a yellow flag. She is as quiet as a beautiful flower and as gentle as a willow.

Music "Dae Jang Geum", Beauty 2 is good at dancing with long sleeves.

Beauty 2: Ah, you are so sad! Little girl, I am 18 this year, nicknamed potato.

Beauty 2: Hello, Emperor, Empress Dowager.

Emperor: Where are you from?

Beauty 2: I'm Korean, Your Majesty. This is our specialty.

Beauty 2 presents potatoes in turn.

Emperor: Well, the specialty is good, but it doesn't seem to come from your place. Should I test your IQ next?

Beauty 2: Your Majesty, take the exam. I was born with only one shortcoming.

Bodyguard: What is it?

Beauty 2: IQ is too high

Guard: Please listen to the topic-the carriage fell off a cliff, and everyone on board was injured, but Father Zhao was safe and sound. Why?

Beauty 2: Is he wearing a seat belt?

Bodyguard: Because Father Zhao is not in the car.

Bodyguard: Please listen to the second question-there will be a holiday soon, but there is only one pig and one donkey in the farmer's house. Kill pigs or donkeys?

Beauty 2: Slaughter the donkey, of course.

Bodyguard: So is the pig.

Bodyguard: Please listen to the third question-a pig and a penguin are at a temperature of tens of degrees below zero. The pig is not dead, but the penguin is dead. Why?

Beauty 2: I don't know.

Bodyguard: Neither can a pig.

Emperor: I don't even know. Come back when you go back and fix your original problem.

Beauty 2 stomped away.

Eunuch: Next, hurry up.

Narrator: The third beauty, Sister Wu Yashi Furong, is from Zhenglanqi, with lively personality and exquisite singing and dancing. Life motto is kill panda, I am a national treasure!

Beauty 3: Hello, Emperor. My biggest dream is to let you sing a song with me, can you?

Emperor (said modestly): I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

Cixi waved her hand in agreement.

Cixi: Go ahead.

The Emperor and Beauty 3 came to the center of the stage.

Beauty 3: Are you ready? music

Emperor: Nani

Beauty 3: Forget it if you can't sing well. Can you play mahjong?

Emperor: My dog's name is Mahjong.

Beauty 3: Can you sing K songs?

Emperor: (singing) After several decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium and burn them all to ashes. You are a pile, I am a pile, and no one knows anyone. They will all be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

Beauty 3: Can't you be noble?

Emperor: (singing) I am a wolf from the north.

Beauty 3: Stop, stop, stop! Others sing for money, and you sing for your life! If you can't dance, who will accompany me to the party? ? If you can't play mahjong, who will help me win the money? You can't sing, who will have a concert with me? Why is the gap between people so big? Let me give you a few words. The east is not bright and the west is bright. What do you like?

Ren Mei 3 Xia

The emperor ran to Cixi in tears.

Emperor: Mom, she bullied me.

Cixi: Good boy, and, and. Announce!

Eunuch: Xuanmeiren No.4.

Beauty 4 debut

Narrator: The fourth beauty, Tong Jiashi, is the niece of Empress Dowager Cixi. She's ice smart and feels good about herself. Her favorite food is lollipops.

Beauty 4: Hello, nice to meet you. Do you think we should speak English or Chinese?

The emperor looked puzzled at Empress Dowager Cixi and her bodyguards.

Bodyguard: Well, you see, we are proficient in English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, Finnish and Australian.

Beauty 4: Oh, let's speak our mother tongue. Nice to meet you!

Beauty 4 shakes hands with the emperor

Beauty 4: Introduce yourself first. My name is Guan Yue, and I'm 28 years old. My experience is still very rich. Back then, I punched Nanshan Nursing Home and kicked Beihai Kindergarten. All of them are below one meter. I stamped my foot in the morgue. "Stand up if you don't agree!" No one dares to breathe. Ha ha ha ha. . . .

Emperor: Queen Huang, he is a super cat with Garfield.

Cixi: Nonsense. Our family was ashamed to enjoy the moon, but we went to school and studied abroad. Shame on flowers, recite an ancient poem for my cousin.

Beauty 4: Rizhao incense burner produces purple smoke, and Li Bai comes to the bathroom. When Xiao Li flies a knife, Li Bai becomes a little eunuch.

Emperor: Good poem! Give you a lollipop!

Beauty 4: Ah, why are lollipops so big?

Emperor: (to the audience) This is iron. Go down and eat slowly.

Beauty 4

Eunuch: Report to the Queen Mother, all the beauties are finished. Everyone is waiting for a result. Can it be announced to everyone?

Cixi discussed with the emperor for a while and handed an envelope to the eunuch.

Eunuch: Thanks to Xianghe Funny TV Station, I announced that all the results of this Princess Selection Award were accepted.

Emperor: You don't have to do this. Pull it out and everyone will hit 50 boards ~ ~ ~

See you on National Day, comrades.