What are the qualities of a high-quality marriage?

I believe many people know Leo Tolstoy's famous saying. Happy families are all alike; Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. It not only emphasizes happiness, but also points out unfortunate differences.

After becoming an emotional blogger, many people often come to me to talk about their current marital confusion, mostly women. In fact, many marriages are deadlocked, and outsiders can't see that they are boring.

I found that the problems can be summarized into three kinds: money, communication and dignity.

Debating about the idea of spending money, arguing about poverty is the most, followed by "I am married, but I am single" close to zero communication marriage, and then one party develops rapidly while the other party stands still, and the unequal status leads to the loss of one party's dignity.

But these are not unsolvable problems. A high-quality marriage must have these three characteristics. I hope my point of view is useful to you:

First, economic independence and personality freedom.

I once wrote an article explaining my most basic point of view in marriage, that is, "I raise you" is the most poisonous love story in the world.

Reader a can't figure out why her husband bought everything for her all the way to college and when he became stingy to the extreme.

They have been married for seven years and have two children. The day before yesterday, they quarreled about whether the pocket money was 1500 or 2000 per month. My husband insisted that it couldn't go up. 1500. Reader a thinks it's good not to have 3000. I work hard at home, and it's not even worth 500.

I asked her what she was doing before marriage. Can't you see how stingy she is? She said he wasn't like this before. I said why this happened. She said it may be because of the mortgage, car loan and two children, and the pressure is too great. "In fact, I understand that I won't spend money indiscriminately, just because I am angry with his attitude."

So you see, people who have no income are particularly concerned about each other's attitude of spending money on themselves. On the contrary, those who earn more than their husbands will tell their husbands' perfunctory things as jokes and jokes.

Only when you have the security of life, instead of relying on others for everything, will you lower your requirements for others and reduce the similarity to normal.

All personality independence is based on economic independence, so in my opinion, the first step of marriage stability is that whoever leaves can live well. I am independent of you, so I formed a marriage alliance with you.

Second, active management is greater than passive acceptance.

Reader b's trouble is that her husband seems to have married a game and plunged into the study to fight as soon as he got home. For a month, they can only say a few words, all of which are angry reprimands. The existence of a husband is like air. You can be angry, I will play my game.

This deadlock seems to be incomprehensible to reader B. She said she didn't love him at all, except killing him. I'll ask you again, and you just left. She was silent. I guess there must be something about this man that she can't let go of. Sure enough, she said he was obedient. Even if she plays again, as long as she says you wash the dishes and you hang the clothes, he will do it.

His biggest problem is that he lost interest, failed to communicate with her, and she lost patience. This cold cycle has become a life together day after day, which is very boring.

To tell the truth, I don't know how to solve it, but I have the same suggestion for this lifeless relationship. I don't think there is any problem that the life of passionate couples can't solve. If so, twice.

Fighting at the end of the bed, if you are tired and relatively silent, one party must take the lead in making changes and lead the other party out of the deadlock. Try to arrange family trips, have private time, take the initiative to find a fun topic and ask each other to help solve work problems.

Of course, those who make these behaviors are those who feel the experience of love more deeply. Because some people think that life is quite good, he knows nothing about the burnout period between husband and wife, and it is not intentional.

If you want to live a colorful life, you should naturally take the initiative to change, not complain.

Third, the right mix is evenly matched.

Here, I want to remind those unmarried people that the so-called suitable relationship not only refers to your background status, but also includes the consistency of interests, motives and opinions.

A girl who wants to live a better life, don't marry a guy who is content with the status quo, a girl who strives for stability in everything, and don't marry a guy who is full of adventure. In this way, with life, you will lack the same language more and more.

If you want to fly, fly together, and if you want to be ordinary, be ordinary together. Only when two people's world outlook, work outlook and family outlook reach more than 80%, will marriage be peaceful and secure.

There is a friend, a woman, whose business success is of great value. Her husband is distressed. He doesn't like too much money. He likes a comfortable and free life, as long as he has enough money. And women like luxury goods, let her husband join the business team, five plus two, white plus black. Finally, at the 52nd1time, they parted ways, and the woman finally got together with her partner.

Both of them are much more relaxed.

Everyone has a different understanding of happiness, so life performance is different. Twisted melon is not sweet, so you can only find people with the same frequency to eat snacks in love. After all, married life is too specific. How tired it would be if everything ran around.

Only when you and your partner have the same point of view and equal strength can the seesaw of marriage maintain a long-term balance.