Tell me some jokes.

My mother said my IQ is only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is. All I know is that I am a very lethal person, and many people have been hurt by me. Some of them have lost hope in life, and some have even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have potential superpowers, and for some reason, this superpower is especially effective for my teacher.

I still remember the first teacher who died because of me. I was in the first grade of elementary school at that time, and the teacher took us to the wild for nature practice classes. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willow branches branching, the teacher couldn't help but think of a question, so he asked: "Students, do you know how to identify the direction of the wind?" "I know!" A little girl in the class answered while picking up the wind from the ground. A leaf was thrown into the air. "Pick up a piece of something and throw it in the air. Watch it float in that direction. Then you will know." "Well, very good." The teacher praised, "Then which other students are willing to do it again?" Let me show you what kind of wind is blowing now? The wind was blowing up and down!”

I can’t remember exactly what the teacher’s expression looked like at that time. I only remember that he died after struggling desperately for a few times. Later, doctors at the hospital said that he died due to a sudden strong stimulation that caused his blood to go backwards and become a demon. In this way, I killed a people's teacher.

The first grade teacher taught us about poultry animals.

Teacher: "There is an animal with two legs. Every morning when the sun comes out, it wakes you up and stays awake until you wake up. Which animal is it?"

I replied: "Mom!", which made the teacher laugh so hard that he almost died!

After I got home from the midterm exam, my mother asked me how I did in the exam. My precious son said, I failed to fill in only one question. Mom asked what the question was? My dear son said, there is a question: What is the result of multiplying 3 times 7? I filled in 15 regardless of the situation. My mother sprayed the water she just drank into my father's face. Hey... I'm so great!

My dad asked me how school was? The father asked, "My dear son, is your female teacher satisfied with you?"

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."

"How do you know? It was her own mouth To you?"

"Of course, Dad. She said to me the day before yesterday: 'If all students were like you, I would leave school immediately!' This shows that I have learned everything. "My dad's brain is going crazy!@#＄#@!＄%＄#@@

One day in math, the teacher asked 1+1=? , I said I don’t know. The teacher asked me to go home and ask. I asked my mother. She was cooking and told me to get out. I asked my dad. He watched the game again and shouted, "It's cool." I asked my sister, she was singing, singing BABY. I asked my brother, who was on the phone and said: I'll wait for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked 1+1=? I said: Get out of here. The teacher slapped me in the face and I screamed. The teacher called me a loser and I called me despicable. The teacher said: Get out. I said: I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher had high blood pressure on the spot and fainted...

When I was in Chinese class in elementary school, all the Chinese teachers in the school went to listen to Teacher Ni's class. Teacher Ni wrote the word "being" on the blackboard and asked me: "Do you know this word?" I answered "No", and Teacher Ni started to inspire me: "Do you have a bed at home?" I answered " "Yes", "What's on the bed?" "Matt", "Where's it on the mat?" I answered: "My mother." Teacher Ni thought to herself, this is right, mother has a quilt on her body, so she continued: "You What about my mother? "My father." Teacher Ni never expected that I would say this and make a fool of myself in front of so many teachers. He asked in a hurry, "Where is the quilt?" I replied: "The quilt is on the ground." Teacher Ni was so angry that she had epilepsy and was hospitalized!

Later the school changed a teacher and asked us to make sentences. I completed the homework calmly and all the teachers immediately looked at me with admiration

The sentence I wrote was:

Sad ----The big ditch in front of our house is very sad.

If----canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.

Naive--it's really hot today, a good day for swimming.

Ten points----My sister only got ten points in her math test, which is really embarrassing.

Calm down----When I do things, I always start with the easy ones.

Ginseng----The teacher said that everyone must try their best when participating in the team relay tomorrow.

Quilt----Xiaoyu's sanitary napkin was stolen.

Lunchbox----Xiao Ming regards defecation as the first thing he does when he gets up every morning.

The teacher touched my head and said sternly: I came home from school and there was no one around, so I was going to complete the homework assigned by the substitute teacher. I went to the toilet and started to paint the walls with feces. , I painted the entire bathroom ten times before I stopped when I was satisfied with my work. My family came back and scolded me. The next day, my mother went to the principal to sue the substitute teacher for misleading her children. Later, the substitute teacher was fired. Hey... I said to myself: "I am very creative, ugly is not my original intention. God don't lose your temper, I will live bravely and bring out the beauty of the world. !! ! ! ! ”

I was chewing gum while putting my feet on the walkway.

At this time, the teacher said to me: "Please spit out what is in your mouth, and then put your feet in"

My brain: "@＄#＄% #＄#”

In the days that followed, several more teachers met with misfortune. Fortunately, no one died, and no big mistakes were made. However, my fame spread like wildfire and I became a celebrity in the city. However, celebrities also have the pain of celebrities, and I deeply understand this.

When I was in junior high school, the physics teacher asked me in physics class: How do you change the trajectory? Me: According to the Diamond Sutra, if a person only does bad things in the human world, he will become a ghost after death! It turns out that the teacher is talking about how satellites change their orbits!

I was woken up by the teacher while I was sleeping in history class. The teacher asked me: "Who did Princess Wencheng marry?"

Xiao Wang whispered to me: "Songtsen Gampo." No