Funny jokes are badly needed.

Every time I want to take out my mobile phone to look at the time in class, I unconsciously open qq, and Weibo looks around. Finally, I put my mobile phone in my pocket and wondered what time it was for your sister.

The typical sign of being single is that the one-month traffic package is long gone, and more than half of the call package is left.

I don't want to move, I don't want to talk about it, so I don't move, even if China does.

Today, my friend suddenly said, what did you say ... what did the first guy in the world who knew that milk could be drunk do to the cow?

I saw a boy leading a girl down the stairs in the dining hall this morning. Unexpectedly, the man accidentally fell down, but he didn't let go, so he pulled the girl down and they rolled down the stairs. The scene is terrible ... this tells us that there is a kind of love called letting go.

Tang cuisine is the ninth largest cuisine in China, which is widely distributed all over the country. The main cooking methods are blind frying and special frying, as well as chaos and special stewing ... The main feature is that there is no meat and no oil in the country!

After watching the concubines in the palace for a few days, I began to talk to my roommate with an accent. "Hey, the cake you bought today is great. Thick cheese rich in mousse is best. I want to smoke more. Although I will gradually lose weight, I will not be in debt. " "Speak human words." "... the cake is delicious. I want to eat another piece. "

One day, I went shopping and prepared a big bag to go home. Then I called and I was surprised that I couldn't stop. Seeing a traffic police uncle in front, I went over and asked, where can I take a taxi? The traffic police uncle calmly said: Stay away from me and you can hit it. ...

In fact, no matter how high the conversation is, after meeting, appearance still determines everything. Externally, two people are together, internally, for how long.

Have you ever done this? What you think is "shit", what you say is "good" …

Learn from me: "kings are always sloppy!" " Without thinking, I said, "Kings are always lucky!" He shook his head and said three words: "Wang Lao Ji!" -I suddenly can't kneel. ...

One day, on the way to class, A said, "Fuck, I forgot my cell phone. Go back and get it! ! "... another day, A:" Fuck, I forgot my book, forget it ... "

In the class exam, a classmate complained that in the general exam, many trees were cut down in order to print papers, and nothing was bought or sold ... The teacher gave him a disdainful look and replied, "Don't think about it, at least writing papers is limited." If you change the education mode, you will get more than a dozen G's as soon as you assign homework, then you will regret it! " ! ! "

A math class, I didn't listen carefully. The teacher is coming soon, so I quickly asked a buddy in the back seat in a whisper, "Dude, which page?" That buddy told me calmly, "You didn't refuse me ~" and I whispered, "Shit! Which page? ! Then he said to me, I hurt you. Holy shit! When I sang with him!

There are three kinds of new unfilial, which are said to be literature study, postgraduate entrance examination and no object ... how many do you account for?

Kuteng is always crying, and the price of the canteen has increased again. The students are as hungry as thin horses. The sun has set, mom, I want to go home ~

Parents: Go home early and have something to say to you. ..... and then my mind began to see all the bad things I had done in my life ... Really?

I'm looking ahead, losing weight, and how much weight I can gain freely. I forgot yesterday, my body was swollen, and I met you again on the way to lose weight. You have been dragged, your weight fluctuates, and your thin heart is going crazy. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.

The sorrow of every nearsighted person: the world is a plane without glasses. . 30 meters away, hermaphrodite, 50 meters away, regardless of human and animal.

Suddenly I remembered an embarrassing situation that often appeared in high school-I got a problem and wrote a "solution" in a coquettish way, which I thought was really good; After reading the question, I was annoyed to cross out the coquettish "solution" and write "proof"? The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.

I'm lazy, so don't play games with me. You might as well sleep more if you have time. I am lazy, so don't think I am stupid at ordinary times. I'm just too lazy to care so much. It's hard to get lost in life. I am a lazy person. I think lazy people have the happiness of lazy people, so I have been willful and lazy. I don't want to go there