Are you in a bad mood? Do you have any funny jokes?

1. I was watching TV on the sofa. My wife sat on my lap wrapped in a bath towel and said coquettishly: "Uncle, you want my little girl, right?" I deliberately stayed calm. : "No, no, sir, I don't have any money today!" Wife: "It's all about money. I just want to make the little girl happy. I can make up for the IOU afterwards!" I'm dizzy~~~~~I still owe money on this matter. of! 2. I lifted my wife's chin with one hand and said teasingly: "Girl, come on, sing a song for me!" My wife clapped my hand and said, "Sir, please be more respectful. Little girl, I only sell my body, not my art!" Shocked~~~~~ Now I am on the receiving end of a gun! 3. After taking a shower, I was lying on the bed reading a book. When my wife came out of the bathroom, a hungry tiger pounced on me and pinned me down. He said with a ferocious face: "Hey, I'm good-looking, little girl. I want to try something new today!" I fought to the death. . When my wife saw that I refused, she turned around and said softly: "Uncle, are you going to obey this little girl?" I said, "Give me a reason first!" My wife said with a quick glance: "This little girl has just been released from prison. I haven’t eaten meat for several years! “Oh my god~~~~~~~ This is a good reason, there is absolutely no reason not to obey! 4. My wife asked me: "You men always say that women are boring. What does it mean to be boring?" I said: "Mengsao means being dignified on the outside but hot on the inside!" My wife asked again: "Then do you think I am the one?" "I pretended to look at her carefully, and then shook my head: "You don't count!" My wife nodded: "I think so, I should be Ming Sao." I snickered in my heart: "Accurate but not comprehensive!" My wife wondered. I asked: "What is that?" I replied proudly: "You belong to Quan Sao!" Sweat~~~~~~~This beating is inevitable! 5. One night, I accompanied a client to a KTV and came home very late. When I first entered the house, I thought my wife had fallen asleep, so I tiptoed to the bathroom to take a shower. As soon as I took off my clothes, my wife suddenly appeared and shouted: "Are you trying to destroy the evidence?" I was startled and quickly said: "No, no, I already put the swords and guns in the warehouse before I went out!" The wife laughed evilly twice. , reached out and touched my penis: "Well, the gun hasn't been lost yet, but I want to check if there are enough bullets!" Darling~~~~~~~ Is there a way to check this? Is this why she stayed up half the night? 6. My wife likes all beautiful things, including handsome men and beautiful women. The greatest pleasure of going shopping with my wife is that she will search for handsome men and beautiful women everywhere for me to watch. Once we were tired from shopping, we sat in front of the Starbucks window and admired the beautiful women in Sichuan. While admiring it, my wife asked me stupidly: "Who do you think all these beautiful women are sharing the bed with at night?" I glared at her in surprise and replied: "Pervert!" My wife was also surprised. : "Ah? Wouldn't that be an advantage for those perverts?" I couldn't laugh or cry, so I flicked her head with my finger: "It's an advantage for you! What do you think you are thinking about all day long? Your head is full of sorghum flowers! I said you He's a pervert!" "Oh!" My wife nodded in understanding and said something that made my liver hurt: "Then if I sleep with them, who will you sleep with?" I was speechless~~~~~~~~ I also want to sleep with them, why don’t you destroy me? 7. Once I made a small fortune, I returned home and threw the envelope at my wife: "Girl, you did well last month. This is a tip from the uncle!" The wife looked like she was jealous of the money, and took it with her He weighed the envelope, hugged me, gave me a kiss, and said charmingly: "Thank you, uncle, it is a little girl's duty to serve you well. Please come here often!" I nodded stupidly: "Oh, Definitely! "Oh~~~~~~ They are like a couple! 8. My wife has a habit of hiccupping when she breathes in cool air. One evening after get off work, I came home burping. I asked with concern: "Are you drinking wind again?" My wife pretended to be sad and sighed: "What if I don't drink wind? You haven't been favored for several days. The little girl has lost her income, so she has no choice but to drink from the northwest!" Then I remembered that I hadn't made love to my wife for two or three days, so I stepped forward and became fussy. My wife was quite cooperative at first, but at the critical moment she stopped abruptly: "Okay, I'd better keep drinking!" I was a little confused: "Why?" My wife smiled sweetly: "My old friend hasn't left yet, so it's not too bad. It’s convenient!” I said~~~~~Why is she so behaved these days! 9. One Saturday, my wife had a normal day off and I had to work overtime. When I woke up in the morning, this guy stalked me for a while, then continued to sleep contentedly, but I had to go to the company full of exhaustion.

I said hello to her and was about to leave the bedroom when my wife said from behind: "Master, come tomorrow!" I nodded: "Come!" "Huh?" Thanks to my quick reaction: "How dare you come tomorrow? Come on! Come tonight!" "That's enough! Go on, little girl, go on and sleep peacefully!" Oh~~~~~~~ It's too slow to react when you are with your wife! 10. My wife and I fell in love when we were in college. At that time, girls could enter the boys’ dormitory, but boys were not allowed to enter the girls’ dormitory. One late autumn night, I made my wife angry, so she left me and went back to the dormitory. There were no mobile phones at that time, and my wife lived on the third floor, so I shouted to her downstairs to apologize. Shouting for a long time had no effect, but more and more people were watching. Seeing that the lights were out, my wife asked her roommate to throw her quilt down from the window (the quilt was given by me and I know her). When I saw that the situation was not good, I quickly shouted: "Please throw another pillow down!" There was no further explanation, and the whole building was filled with laughter. A good man doesn't suffer the consequences, so I hurried back to the dormitory and covered her with her quilt all night long. The next morning before I woke up, my wife stood in front of me, picked up the quilt and flattened me: "You heartless! You made me freeze and have a runny nose all night, but you are quite comfortable!" My dear~~~~~~you think I want it! 11. One winter it was extremely cold, and my wife and I went to the park to play one weekend. I saw many people skating on the ice of the lake, so I invited my wife to skate with me, but my wife didn’t dare. In order to prove the solidness of the ice, I took the lead and ran to the ice to play around. It made my wife feel itchy, and she finally got the idea to give it a try. I went from the center of the lake to the shore to pick her up. When I was still about one meter away from the shore, in order to further prove that there was no danger, I jumped up. As a result, I just heard a "pop" and fell into the ice hole. Fortunately, the water on the shore was shallow and the water only reached my waist. My wife screamed in fear and almost cried. It took a lot of effort for me to get out of the mud. After making sure that I was fine, my wife asked me seriously: "Is your little brother not frozen?" I endured the severe cold and nodded vigorously: " It's okay, the little thing is a polar bear! "His~~~~~~I feel cold just thinking about it!

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