I want to hear a joke. Who can tell me one? Thank you.

1. Li Si has a champion dog, and he wins all the dogs in the village. One day, when he saw Zhang San coming with a bald dog, he wanted to go up and have a competition with him. Zhang San refused to compete with him. While they were arguing, two dogs got into a fight, only to see that Li Si's champion dog was strangled by Zhang San's bald dog. Li Si was startled and asked Zhang San: What's the matter? Zhang San answered unhurriedly: I said there is no comparability, but you have to compare. My dog called a lion before it was plucked!

2. A psycho, who got a pistol from nowhere, walked in a small black alley. Suddenly I met two young people, and the psychopath pressed them to the ground without saying anything, pointing a gun at his head! Q: "What is 1+ 1?" The young man was frightened! He couldn't answer for a long time, and the neuropathy patted him without saying anything: I don't even know this. What's the use of living? ! After catching the second one, ask "1+ 1= what?" The second man pondered for a long time and replied with trepidation, "It's equal to 2 ...? "The psycho shot him without hesitation, then dragged the gun in his arms and said coldly," You know too much. "

3. "This is a telegram from the general." A soldier came to report, "Colonel, this is a personal phone call for you."

"Look!" The colonel ordered.

The signalman read: "We should first blame this failure on your stupidity and incompetence!" "

"This is a coded telegram, translate it at once!" The colonel instructed seriously.

Someone's wife is ill, please call a doctor to see her. The doctor checked it and asked, "Do you have a screwdriver?"

"Yes, here you are." After a while, the doctor asked again, "Do you have a hammer?" "Yes ... but what happened to my wife?"

"Nothing, I have to open the medicine cabinet first."

5. Congratulations

Doctor: "Congratulations, Mr. Bonfair!" " "

Patient: (excitedly) "Am I going to recover soon?"

Doctor: "No, you can't recover." However, you will die of a newly discovered disease in a few days, and we will name it after you. "

6. Doctor: Old man, you are very healthy, and it is no problem to live to 80 years old.

Old man: I am eighty this year!

Doctor: Look, am I right?

7. The keeper of the zoo stood in front of the crocodile, opened his mouth wide and kept looking into the crocodile's mouth. Passers-by tourists asked, "What happened to the crocodile?"

The administrator said, "I don't know yet. The doctor went to his mouth and didn't come out for half an hour.