This world is filthy, and none of us living here are licking our own wounds.

As the saying goes: "There is no real empathy in life. It is just like drinking water, knowing whether it is hot or cold."

Life is only a few decades long. Faced with countless joys and sorrows, bitterness and bitterness, there is no time when I don't shed tears. Everyone experiences pain to some extent, has obstacles that they cannot get over, and wounds that they cannot finish licking.

But no matter how many wounds you have, big or small, light or heavy, still bleeding or healed, you should not talk to others easily. Because you can't get the comfort you want, but the more you talk, the colder your heart becomes.

People who understand you will only sympathize with you a little bit and just give you a few words of comfort; people who don’t understand you will only treat it as a joke or even something to talk about when you are bored.

Instead of exposing your scars in front of others and getting some sympathy and comfort, it is better to wrap them up and let time heal slowly. After surviving the first few seconds when you most want to talk, you will be able to learn to heal yourself later.

Silence is the best coolant and the best way to lick wounds.

Mr. Lu Xun once had this passage in his "A Collection of Miscellaneous Thoughts":

There are so many emotions in the world and all kinds of encounters. I only know that everyone in the world has his own sadness and sadness. Human beings' joys and sorrows are not the same, they are just different noises, so don't expect any empathy.

We clearly know that everyone has their own different experiences and must lick their own wounds silently. Why do we still expect others to listen to our troubles and give us empathetic understanding and comfort?

No one has to pay for your pain, just like there are times when you cannot share the pain for others.

Ju Jingwei once said: "The world will not treat you suddenly just because of how miserable you are. What people look forward to most in a difficult situation is an instant reversal, and they need something from heaven to solve their urgent needs. . And after a while, even if something good comes from the sky, we will not be so happy and grateful. We may have forgotten the tragedy of the year. ”

People are emotional animals and need to talk when they encounter things. The need to resolve is a natural reaction. As Ju Jingwei said, when we are in trouble, we most look forward to an instant reversal, and we most need the help of external things to get us out of the quagmire. It's like when we are hurt and in pain, we want to talk to others, get solutions to the problem from others, and get other people's emotional responses, so that we can feel a little more comfortable.

However, we have not thought about one question: Are others willing to listen to your bad things? Is it necessary to empathize with you in order to comfort your wounded heart?

Life is not yours alone, and sadness and pain are not yours alone. Everyone has it, and everyone needs to resolve it. There is no "thing from the sky" that can save you from fire and water, and there is no "thing that can reverse the situation" that will help you get out of trouble.

What others can give you is always a little sympathy and a little comfort. Only you know the pain of all wounds best.

As Ju Jingwei said later: "Since there is no sudden miracle, then break your own record and constantly refresh the number of times you have faced suffering. As long as you still have breath, you must fight. In fact, you will find later that because of your own persistence, the situation will be different."

The same goes for pain and heartache. As long as you resist the desire to talk in the first few seconds and tell yourself that others have no right to solve your troubles, you will not get the comfort you want from others.

Quietly and silently, slowly digest this pain. There will always be a moment when you will suddenly understand and heal your heartache.

"There is no pain in the world that cannot be healed, and there is no sinking that cannot be ended. Everything lost will come back in another way." Shores's words tell us that pain will always be there It can all be cured, all it takes is a way to heal the pain.

Walking on the mud of the world, who hasn’t had time to fall? Who doesn’t have a few scars after falling in the quagmire? Who should you leave these scars to see, and who do you need to help you heal them?

Relatives, lovers, or friends?

No one.

Because most people will only be indifferent after seeing your scars. A few people will show a little sympathy and maybe forget about your scars afterwards. Occasionally, they will think about it and talk about it with others. , unrelated people have fun together. Even if you are your best friend, even if you are a lover who can empathize and understand you, he or she is unable to do so and can only say, "It's not a big deal. It will get over after you get through it."

Endure It's over as soon as it lasts. Who doesn't understand this truth, but there are only a few who can actually get through it.

There are many ways to comfort people, but there are only a few types:

"Everyone has suffering, and it will be over if you stand up for it."

"It's not a big deal, we are all the same. In life, we have to go through this."

"Seeing that others are worse off than myself, but they have survived, there is nothing I can't survive."

< p> People comfort people, and people look for ways to relieve themselves. It is not to persuade them to heal themselves, but to use more miserable experiences to tell them that you are not as miserable as me. I can survive it, so you can survive it too. It doesn't matter to me, but when I really get to myself, I realize that everything is not as simple as I thought.

"You have to go through it, and you can get over it if you persist." What a wonderful empathy, so many things Good comfort, but can you really heal yourself when you hear this? Can we really stand up and stop being sad?

Gabriella Zevin once said: "No one is an island, and every book is a world." No one Be willing to lick your own wounds and heal yourself carefully. When in pain, everyone wants to let it out, and everyone wants to get a good medicine that can immediately reverse the sadness.

The person who can give you good medicine is no one else but yourself.

It is better to rely on yourself than to rely on anyone, and it is better to swallow it yourself than to talk to anyone. Although the process of self-healing is painful and difficult, it will eventually bloom and allow you to meet a better version of yourself in the future.

There is a very classic saying on the Internet: "I am very good. I don't make noises or show off. I don't feel wronged or ridiculed. I don't need others to know."

Because of my heart Strong enough, I have a good ability to heal myself.

I don’t tell others about my heartache, it’s not that I don’t want to talk it out and explain all my worries. But I know that it’s useless to talk, and you won’t get relief by talking. You can only save yourself and save yourself.

There is a sentence in the healing anthology "So Far So Close" that says, "This world is inherently sloppy, so there is nothing to be afraid of. Everyone has bitterness that cannot be vented, and depression that cannot be resolved, and living in Among us here, none of us are trying our best, even doing whatever it takes to survive. ”

The only way to continue life and heal scars is by ourselves.

I have read a very interesting passage on the Internet before, and I would like to say it here to all the sad people, and also to all those who want to talk.

We all read it Watch the classic movie "The Shawshank Redemption", and have you ever noticed the sentence: "The strong save themselves, and the saints save others."

The strong save themselves, and the saints save others. We must ask ourselves with a strong attitude. When we encounter anything, we do not talk to others in advance, but heal ourselves powerfully.