Happy and humorous joke copy

1. Parents' meetings and mistresses are the same as 1. They both destroy family harmony!

2. "What do you think of the so-called goddess on the Internet now?" "Just like instant noodles. The picture does not match the real thing! "

I chased the goddess for a long time, and this time she finally agreed. The goddess asked me how I felt, and I said it felt a little incredible. She said, I don't believe you pinched my face. Yes, and then I woke up.

Except Tomb-Sweeping Day, people in China can regard all festivals as Valentine's Day!

5. It is not a local tyrant who buys an iphone, but a local tyrant who buys me an iphone.

6. My girlfriend wants to break up with me. In order to save this relationship, I sent her plain photo to my circle of friends. Sure enough, she not only took the initiative to contact me, but also vowed to say to me: "I am not finished with you!" "

7. "Who will you save first when an English teacher and a Chinese teacher fall into the river?" "Throw the math teacher down!"

8. What is loneliness? That is, the phone bill of 50 yuan has been used for three months, and it has not been used up ... three months!

9. "Dad, tell me the story of you and mom." "I don't know why your mother took a fancy to me. That year, after I bought vegetables, I passed a gold jewelry store and went in to watch the fun. Your mother is doing sales in it, so I asked, how much is this thing a catty ... "

1 "Why do people like to take off their shirts when fighting in groups?" "If everyone takes off their pants, the atmosphere will be a bit strange!"

1 1. "Is your emotional path not smooth?" "Very well. I didn't even see anyone along the way! "

The head teacher said, "If you want to learn a course well, you must stick to it like chasing a person!" " I interrupted him and said, "Then try chasing eight at the same time."

Thirteen. When a woman is tired, she goes home and coquetry. When a man is tired, he just goes home to pee.

14. I won't die. Damn people are still alive, how can I be willing to die?

Fifteen. After dinner, mom asked dad to wash the dishes, and grandpa didn't want dad to wash them. He said, "He didn't wash it clean." Mom insisted that dad wash it, but grandpa wouldn't let me. Suddenly, my father said, "People have no position at home. That's it. They don't know who to listen to. "

Sixteen years old. "What's the exam like?" "I failed Sprite ..." "Why?" "Because my heart flies before the exam, I feel cold after the exam."

17. Some boys don't even know what a girl's personality is like. They just look at a photo and say they like it. It's not like this. It's called shopping.

18. After seeing my achievements, my father hated iron and said, "You see Kangxi became emperor at the age of six, and you still have this ambition ..." I replied, "That's not because his father died."

19. How to run first in the 800 meters tomorrow? ""Send some beautiful female classmates to flirt with your boyfriend at the finish line. One day in class, the teacher said, "Make your school your home!" " A classmate said, "This is my home. Please get out! "

Twenty one. I bought a box of white chocolates for my girlfriend. As a result, she said, "People like dark chocolate." I handed her a pair of sunglasses and said, "Wear them to eat."

22. I was told that nothing is more complicated than love. I threw a math book in his face.

23. In order to save money, the boyfriend said to his girlfriend: Honey, we won't buy a ring when we get married. We will tattoo one, and whoever betrays first will chop off his finger to witness our faithful love. Girlfriend: OK! Why don't we tattoo a necklace?

24. I saw a fish on the side of the road today. When I picked it up, it was still a live fish! Happy! You can go home and cook fish. After thinking for a few steps, cooking fish needs oil, a kitchen and a wife! If a wife has a mother, she must have a mother-in-law. If she wants to marry her girl, she must have a car and a house. Now that the house price is falling, she will lose money if she buys it! I lost the fish as soon as I thought about it! This fish must have been lost by the developer, but fortunately I didn't fall for it! I'm so witty!

25. University is a place with a strong academic atmosphere. When there is no class, we collapse on the bed like Zhang Haidi, and when there is class, we collapse on the chair like Hawking.

26. I heard that you have changed. No matter how you change, my love for you will never change. In the future, we will have a good life. I love you, and you love me. Don't take you out every time all day. When I come back, I will be left alone, and I will never leave you. -Exchange RMB.